Getting your heart broken is an inevitable part of life.
Romantic relationships ultimately come and go, and nowadays, it's rare you stick with your high school sweetheart forever. Most of the time, you get the joy of experiencing all those basic phases of a breakup grief: sadness, denial, bargaining, guilt and anger. I’m sure you know the unfortunate drill. Regardless of the level of messiness of the breakup, I’m almost positive you’ve had all of these thoughts right after being dumped:
1. What did I do?
This probably falls in the sadness stage and it really is sad. You feel as though you did something terribly wrong to cause this whole parade of sadness. This is probably the part of the breakup where you start listening to some classic Taylor Swift, maybe cry, indulge your sweet tooth and your best friends play therapist. Even though in most cases it probably isn’t your fault, you can't help but question and over-analyze the situation.
2. What can I do?
Ah, denial. A true feeling of “how can i fix this?” This is the stage where your friends tell you how much of a butt you’re being because they know how none of it is actually your fault. Plus, they know that anyone who would dump a gem like you, is a butt.
3. What’s wrong with (insert ex’s name here)? I’m amazing!
Cue the “We are Never Ever Ever Getting Back Together.” This is your empowering phase where you get a little angry. You start listening to your friends who have been nonstop preaching at you about how amazing you are. They will not shut up about how they hated them anyway, and about how you deserve better You may even think: "if they don't want me, then what's the point of worrying about them so much!?" You’re a total catch and anyone who doesn't see that is nuts .
4. I’m never dating anyone ever again
A bit of a relapse in the sadness and anger phase. Maybe you’ll turn on some Marina and the Diamonds and do something wild to your hair. Write slam poetry and wear a leather jacket. This might sound like a bit of an phase where you exaggerate everything, but rest assured this is perfectly normal. If this is how you need to express your post-breakup emotions, go for it. Whose stopping you?
5. I’ll be OK.
Acceptance. You’ve felt everything on the rollercoaster that is the many phases of post-break up grief. It could take hours, days, even weeks to get to this conclusive point where you realize they probably weren’t right for you anyway. This is the part in the process where your friends can sleep easy knowing you’re less likely to dramatically get an undercut or T.P the ex’s house.
As someone who has been tragically dumped at least three times, I can safely say it’s traumatic. Especially when you have strong feelings about another person or just were with them for a long time. But everyone handles it differently. No matter what the circumstances, parting ways is always difficult. But with a few good friends, and maybe some hair dye and ice cream, you will get through it. In the end, you will find your way to the one you're meant to be with.