The ache that is felt during a loss, whether that is from a breakup, someone moving, or a death, is one of the hardest pains to suffer with. There is that strong feeling of absolute helplessness for what feels like forever before we are able to open our eyes and really see that this loss has changed us and was able to teach us something that we could have never learned ourselves.
1. It might be hard now, but you will make it through.
In the moment, when the pain is new and fresh, it might feel like this is a pain that you will not survive. It is a pain that is so strong that you feel like it will swallow you into an abyss and there is no way out but acceptance. It is even hard to imagine that one day it is not going to hurt anymore, that their absence will become the new normal. One day it does happen. It is not something that will happen all at once, you won’t wake up one morning and be ok again, but one day you will have the realization that you are whole again and have been for a while.
2. Human nature is very selfish.
When people lose someone close to them they experience a lot of different feelings. A lot of those feelings are aimed at the fact that this person has left us behind rather than the feeling of being upset that they weren’t able to live longer and experience more. People also tend to have such strong feelings of regret for not being around them as much as we should have, which again puts the focus on us, as we cry out for someone else to comfort and reassure ourselves that we are good people.
3. The world is not going to stop turning because you are sad.
Life will continue on at full speed ahead even if that isn’t what you need it to do in that moment. You might not want to continue living your life for a while, but that is exactly what the real world expects from you. After a few days you will have to go on and persevere, even if that is only for a few hours at a time.
4. You are not the only one that lost them.
You are going to find that this person touched so many lives, and they left a larger catastrophe in their wake than you had previously thought. Now that you have a full perspective on how many people have been affected by the loss, the person changes for you; believe it or not this is the time you’re going to learn the most about them. As everyone comes together, you will find everyone knew a slightly different version of the same person and they have stories of them that you have never heard before.
5. You have become a better person just by having known them.
Every person you know has affected your life in some way or another, good or bad, you have grown from that experience. A large part of human nature is learning from your past and using that knowledge to build a better present and future; by having experienced the presence of someone and then learning to lose them it teaches you how to deal and believe it or not this experience will build character.