Growing up, I was a "people pleaser." I wanted to make everyone happy but I was driving myself crazy in the meantime. My people pleasing tendencies extended themselves into every relationship and I would do my best cater to everyone around me. It didn't start driving me truly insane until middle school when I had friends that disagreed and I had to choose who to please, that choice was agony for me. Naturally, I became a chameleon who said one thing to one friend and another thing to another so that I could "become all things to all people" and keep all my friends. My dad finally called me out on it and challenged me to decide what I believed then lovingly stick to my guns because I was becoming a pushover and a puddle of people-pleasing confusion. I've found that trying to quit these five things helps me stay (somewhat) sane.

1. Trying to please everyone.

Trying to please everyone is impossible. Instead of trying to please everyone, attempt to show love to everyone. Sometimes the most loving thing you can do for someone is confront them about an issue. If you love someone you won't let them continue doing something that you foresee hurting them. They may not be pleased when you have to present an opposing viewpoint but you really should attempt to show the people you care about real love instead of just offering them fake pleasure.

2. Fearing change.

Change is scary! Growing up my dad was in the Air Force and we had to move a bunch of times. Every time we moved I was a sobbing, distraught little mess of a girl because I was so scared of the change that was happening. Looking back though, every time we moved I made more and better friends. I know more people and have had many neat experiences that peers of mine who have lived in one place their whole lives have never experienced. I am honestly grateful for every move my family had to make, even though it was scary at the time.

3. Living in the past.

Oh this one's a doozy for me because I seem to sift all of my present situations through the lens of my past experiences. I constantly find myself comparing my present to my past and have to resist that temptation because the people I know and the life-stage I'm at now is completely different from what I've ever experienced! It is NEVER good to compare a new relationship to a past one or to forgive someone while still holding on to that past hurt. Bitterness is a very sneaky and easy feeling to give in to but if you can avoid living in the past then your present will be much more happy and full of potential.

4. Putting yourself down.

I was reading a book one time and the author said "if you are constantly putting yourself down or deflecting compliments, you're basically telling the person complimenting you that they're stupid for thinking positively of you." I, for one, do not want everyone around me constantly thinking of me negatively. I always thought that deflecting compliments or using myself as the butt of a joke was just being humble, but there is a difference between humility and humiliating yourself. Learn how to graciously accept a compliment, a simple and sincere smile and "thank you" is much more gracious then telling someone they're wrong for thinking positively of you.

5. Overthinking.

Winona Ryder once said “I think too much. I think ahead. I think behind. I think sideways. I think it all. If it exists, I’ve thought of it.” Ja feel? My brain can turn a simple situation into a complex rubrics cube of confusion. There comes a time when you simply cannot do one more thing to fix a situation and you just have to give it up and give it to God. Try to distract yourself and do what will most clear your head. Take a deep breath, listen to music, go out with friends, pray, read a book, anything! It's way easier to say "Just stop worrying about it!" than it is to ACTUALLY stop worrying about "it." As someone who regularly deals with anxiety, I can relate. There comes a point where you just have to trust that you can't do anything more and you have to just...trust. I have put my trust in God, and when I'm in the throes of anxiety I really just have to make myself trust God and then get my mind on another activity.