1. The Trust Is Broken Within The Friendship
When you find a friend that you trust with all of your personal ambitions and secrets you form a unique kind of friendship. This friend surpasses the level of just someone you have fun with, they become a pillar of support in your life. Trust within the friendship is formed based on the notion that your friend doesn’t want to know your secrets for their own personal gain, but rather to help you face personal obstacles and offer helpful advice. If your friend holds these secrets you have confided in them over you, they are not worthy of knowing them in the first place. A friendship of this kind is not meant to make you feel trapped by your own secrets. It should allow you to feel free and relieved to have someone offering you support.
If this friend you have confided in treats you differently in a negative way after you tell them something secret or personal, they are not making their best effort to understand and empathize with you. A truly loyal friend will do their best to put themselves in your shoes and comfort you to the best of their abilities. A friend of this kind should also never break your trust by sharing what you have told them in confidence with others. Your privacy is precious and if the friend you have entrusted with your personal thoughts tells others without your knowledge they do not value your privacy. This type of betrayal is hard to recover from because it constantly makes you question what information you should confide in them. It is hard to cut out a friend who has been in your life for quite some time, but if you can no longer trust them they are not helping you grow as a person. Trust is key to any healthy relationship, but especially in a long term friendship.
2. Your Friendship Is Not A Priority
Neglect in any form is painful, but especially from someone who used to make you a priority in their life. A friend of yours may occasionally unintentionally make you feel left out or forget to call you back which is normal, especially if you both have particularly hectic schedules. On the other hand, if you continually reach out to this friend with no response you can assume that there is an underlying problem within the friendship. Two wrongs don’t make a right, therefore don’t play into the quiet game they have created between the two of you. Bringing the problem to their attention is the best way to achieve results and get your friendship back on track.
If your friend fails to understand how you are feeling and does not attempt to fix the issue, they clearly do not value the friendship in the same way you do. Begging for their attention and inclusion is not fair to you. A friend should never make you feel that you are not equal to them by treating you less than how they would want to be treated. Once your friendship becomes a power struggle it has reached an unhealthy level. The repeated act of neglect and making you feel unequal are signs that the friendship is no longer worthy of your time or effort.
3. You Are No Longer Interested In The Same Things
Friendship is typically based on common interests and having similar opinions on a handful of topics. Often friendship is formed through participating in the same activities like school, work, or hobbies. These activities are a great way of finding friendship with people who enjoy the same things that you do. Friendships formed on one common interest can often grow into a strong bond between the both of you that lasts a lifetime. It is healthy to have common interests that you can participate in together, as well as having separate individual things that you value. Friendship is about growing together and supporting each other despite differing interests or opinions. As time passes and you individually each form your own paths in life it may be difficult to remain as close as you were at the beginning of your friendship. A genuine friendship is when both of you can respect each others decisions even though they may be different and support each other no matter what. If your friend fails to understand the direction you want to take your life and does not help you achieve your personal goals with their support they are holding you back.
If your friend cannot stay by your side despite your differences, they do not care deeply enough about the connection the two of you once had. It is natural to outgrow a person, but it is crucial not to hang on the that friendship if they do not accept you for who you are individually. You also must remember to never compromise who you are just to keep someone in your life. Remain true to yourself and if your friendship is preventing you from doing that then it is time to move on to allow yourself to grow into who you are meant to be.
4. Communication Becomes Difficult
Communication is not just picking up the phone or shooting each other a text on a regular basis. Communication is being able to express how you are feeling and understanding where each other is coming from. Being open with each other when something in the friendship is upsetting you is crucial in building and maintaining a healthy relationship. Lack of communication and the bottling up emotions can cause an extreme sense of tension and only intensifies the underlying problem. Often when there is an issue that is bothering someone within the friendship that has not been addressed, they become very passive aggressive. Taking on the emotion of passive aggression only prolongs the issue rather than solving it. An open line of communication and clearly discussing problems that are present in the friendship are both essential components to a healthy friendship. As a friend the best thing that you can do is communicate clearly with your friend when you are upset with something they have done. Healthy communication is also crucial. Lashing out and yelling is not the way to express how you are feeling and in the end may only cause more problems.
If your friend fails to communicate the problems they are having within the friendship there is not much you personally can do except give them their space. A healthy friendship cannot exist without an open line of communication. If you are unable to address problems with your friend and come to some kind of resolution then it is time to move past this relationship.
5. The Fun Part Of Your Friendship Is Gone
A friendship in its simplest form is someone who brings happiness to your life and someone who you have fun with. There are multiple components that build a healthy friendship, but arguably the most important component is happiness. Friendship is indulging in activities that bring both of you joy and you can both be yourselves when together. Being together should never feel forced, hanging out with your best friend should be something that you look forward to. When you feel obligated to be friends with this person and don’t feel happy when in their presence, you may just be naturally outgrowing this specific friendship. Sometimes there isn’t one specific problem that is causing the friendship not to work, you just feel that the friendship itself is not helping either of you grow together or individually. Even though you may no longer have the desire to continue on in a friendship, that should not change the respect that you have for this person and the times you have shared together. When the happiness is gone and the fun times become less frequent, it may be time for you to respectfully remove yourself from this friendship and focus on yourself individually.
At the end of the day the most important thing is your own happiness. If a friendship is preventing you from being as happy as you can be, then it is time for you to move on.