5 Reminders To Help You When You're Struggling

5 Reminders To Help You When You're Struggling

Don't let anxiety and depression get the better of you.
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As someone who has suffered with anxiety for my entire life and depression for several years, I know how easy it is to fall down what I call the "rabbit hole". This is when you let your mind take over your emotions. You seemingly lose control, and negativity taints every thought. Sometimes it feels impossible to get out of these rabbit holes. Therapy has helped me train my mind not to take the bait that depression dangles in front of your face to pull you down. However, there are times when I can't help it. I lose control, and find myself right back at the bottom of another hole. When we find ourselves in this position, it's too easy to forget some simple facts that may help break you from the toxic feelings that are infecting you. Here are five reminders that will hopefully assist you in pulling yourself back up.

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255

1. Nobody else sees you the way you see yourself

We tend to see ourselves in a very negative light. We are our own worst enemy, always criticizing and nitpicking things we want to improve. Maybe you see yourself as ugly, or broken. I promise that nobody worthy of being in your life thinks this way of you. It's difficult to believe that someone sees you as beautiful when you've been telling yourself the opposite your whole life. We all have our flaws, and we fixate on them until they overshadow every wonderful thing about us. Perhaps your nose is a little crooked, or you have some extra fat on your stomach. This does not negate the fact that you're a human being with a beautiful mind, capable of dreaming, creating, and being.

2. What you're feeling is completely normal and valid

No, you're not crazy. We assume the worst when anything is 'wrong' with us, but it's simply not true. Many people before you have experienced the same feelings you are experiencing, and many people after you will, too. It's easy to feel isolated during bouts of anxiety, depression, etc. Just know that it is guaranteed that someone is going through the exact same thing.

3. You are worthy of love and happiness

This is something I have to constantly remind myself of. That voice in your head telling you that you deserve this agony is lying. You are a human, and you deserve as much love and happiness as everyone else. You did nothing to deserve this. You are one of a kind, and you belong here.

4. There will be good days again

This is not the end of the road. This is a bad day, and tomorrow has the opportunity to be better. It's difficult to be in the middle of a storm and convince yourself that you can make it to see the rainbow afterwards, but you can and you will. Healing is not linear. We are coping. There will be ups and downs, but you can get through them all.

5. Please stop abusing yourself

Be gentle with yourself. You're doing your best. Don't let your mind bully you. You can take control, it just takes patience and practice. There is always hope to get better, you have to let yourself get there first. I know you can do it.

Cover Image Credit: Pexels

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I Woke up In The Middle Of The Night To Write About My Fears, They're Worse Than The Dark

One minute I'm thinking about what I want to do after college next thing I know I'm remembering the time I tried talking to a boy and choked on my spit.

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It is one of those nights when I am tired, but for some reason, I can't seem to fall asleep. So, what do I do? I pull out my laptop, and I begin to write. Who knows where it will lead. It could lead to a killer article or something that does not make sense. I mean it is almost 2 A.M. In my mind, that's pretty late.

Anyways, let's do this thing.

Like many people, thoughts seem to pile up in my head at this time. It could be anything from a time when I was younger to embarrassing stories to wondering why I am "wasting" my time somewhere to thoughts about the future. All of these things come at me like a wildfire. One minute I'm thinking about what I want to do after college next thing I know I'm remembering the time I tried talking to a boy and choked on my spit.

The thought that is going through my mind as I write this is about the future. It's about the future of my fears. Let me explain. I have multiple fears. Some of my fears I can hide pretty well, others I am terrible at hiding. My fears may seem silly to some. While others might have the same fears. Shall we start?

1. My career

I don't know where to begin with this one. For as long as I can remember, my consistent dream job has been working in the world of sports, specifically hockey. A career in sports can be and is a challenging thing. The public eye is on you constantly. A poor trade choice? Fans are angry. Your team sucks? "Fans" are threatening to cheer for someone else if you can't get your sh*t together. You can be blamed for anything and everything. Whether you are the coach, general manager, owner, it does not matter. That's terrifying to me, but for some reason, I want to work for a team.

2. My family

Julie Fox

Failing with my family, whether that be the family I was born into or my future family, it terrifies me. I have watched families around me fall apart and I have seen how it has affected them. Relationships have fallen apart because of it. I have heard people talk about how much they hate one of their parents because of what happened. I don't want that.

3. Time

This could be a dumb fear. I'm not sure, but I fear time. With every minute that passes, I am just another minute closer to the end. With every day that passes that I am not accomplishing goals or dreams I have, I am losing precious time. It scares me to think of something horrible like "What if I die tomorrow because of something horrific?" or even worse, "What if I don't make it through today?" It's terrible, I know.

4. Forgetting precious memories

When I was younger, I had brain surgery. It is now much harder for me to remember things. I am truly terrified that I am going to forget things I will want to hold close to me forever, but I won't be able to. I am scared I'll forget about the little things that mean a lot. I'm afraid of forgetting about old memories that may disappear. I'm worried that I'll forget about something like my wedding day. That might seem out of this world, but it's a reality for me.

5. Saying "goodbye"

I hate saying bye. It is one of my least favorite things. Saying bye, especially to people I don't know when I'll see again, is a stab in the heart for me. I love my people so much. I love being around them. I love laughing with them. Thought of never having a hello with them again scares me beyond belief.

6. Leaving places that I love

Alright, let me start off by saying this- it takes a lot for me to love a place. It has to feel like home. It has to make me feel comfortable. It has to be a place I can go to and be myself. Thankfully, I have had and still have multiple places that are like that. I have also had places I could not wait to leave. I think that's why leaving places I love is so hard and something I fear so much. I am afraid I'll never get that place "back", for lack of a better term. I guess, I'm trying to say, it's like a piece of me is leaving as well.




These six things are just the start of my fears. Some of these might seem "dumb" or "ridiculous" to you, but for me, it's my life. These are the things that I think about the most. These are the things that feel like a pit in my stomach. These six things are parts of my life that mean a lot to me.

Cover Image Credit:

Emily Heinrichs

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I Realized I Deserve Better Than Your Half-Assed Crap, and Now I Won't Doubt Myself Again

It's not me, it's you.

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To all the guys who made me feel like shit,

It took me a long time to come to this conclusion.

You know why?

Because a small part of me has always been a pushover. A small part of me always wanted to play the martyr... which is why whenever something crappy happened, I would take half of the blame for it. Don't get me wrong, I know I am no saint. I know that I have flaws just like every other human being but what I don't appreciate is being made felt like the fault lies in me.

I am sorry that you are broken, so am I, but I can't fix you. And, you can't fix me. I know all our life we come across such movies and stories where people meet and fix each other, but that is not the truth. We can never fix another person because there is nothing to fix. Each of us is our own brand of crazy and yes, we all have some flaws. Don't like them? Then, change yourself. But, don't do it because someone else wants you to change it. The truth is, we can't fix each other. All of us are responsible for our own broken parts and happiness. All anyone can do for you is to stay with you and help you through it all, showing you they care and love you when you don't feel so lovable.

Until recently, I always kept wondering what is wrong with me. Why couldn't I find someone who would stay longer? And, then it suddenly hit me. The problem is that I accept too much, I understand too much. I am a person who would accept you as a whole, flaws, and strengths included. I am not going to change you because when you love someone, you love their darkest parts too. You know what my major problem is? It is that I won't nag you, ever. I would accept you with your quirks and your flaws, and I would love all of you, every single day. And people, well most people, don't want that. They want someone who would change them, who would push them to become a better version of themselves. They want someone to get rid of their dark parts and to mend everything that is broken inside of them.

Sorry.

But I won't do that. I won't mend your cracks because you are too afraid to do it yourself. All I will do is pour love in those cracks and support you to fix it yourself. And that's when I realized that this is not my problem. This has never been my fault. All of you leaving, because I didn't push you to change, is not my fault.

Because, if you are stupid enough to let go of a girl who would stand through it all with you, accepting you the way you are. Then, sweetheart, it is not my loss. It is yours. It will always be your loss. Because, no matter how hard you try, there is no prince or princess coming to save you. You are your own savior, and if you are waiting for someone to change you, then you have a long way to go.

Because love doesn't force you to change. It doesn't nag you or berate you. When someone really loves you, they just stay close and keep showering you with their love, and when this happens, a part of you automatically evolves, without even knowing.

And this is what I realized. I am good the way I am. I don't need to question myself every day or berate myself anymore. So, I am done wondering why you all couldn't stay because now, I know.

And this time, the answer is: actually, it isn't me, it's you.

Love,

The girl who realized her worth

Cover Image Credit:

Radhika Sharma

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