In 2016 the dating scene is something which never ceases to amaze me. People are quick to settle for less than they deserve because Hollywood has romanticized love in such a way that we as humans worship the idea of it. We are quickly seeing more and more people change completely for someone else. Here are 5 tips to keep in mind when talking to someone new.
1. You are not obligated to entertain unwanted advances.
When we find out someone new wants to pursue some sort of relationship with us, we can't help but get excited. But sometimes you are left to realize this person is not someone you are interested in. When this happens we often feel as if it would be rude to tell them we aren't interested. In reality, that's the polite thing to do. Kindly let them know that you aren't interested in more than a friendship with him or her. If they choose to ignore this information and continue flirting and making you uncomfortable, simply stop speaking with them. It is not a requirement to continue a friendship with someone who doesn't respect your wishes.
2. You are allowed to say no.
If something this person is doing doesn't sit well with you, it is perfectly fine to question it and say "no" if need be. You should never be worried of hurting their feelings because if they really care about you, they will always want you to be comfortable saying "no." If you go to a party and he or she is supposed to be DD but decides to drink, you are allowed to say "no." Whether or not refusing their ride will hurt their pride ceased to matter the moment they chose to put alcohol over their safety and your own. If this person is pressuring you to do something you aren't ready for, you are allowed to say "no." If they truly care about you, they will understand. If not, they certainly don't deserve your body.
3. Your feelings are always valid.
If they don't come home from a party when you two agreed on, it is okay to be upset. They don't get to turn the situation around on you and say you're too clingy. You are allowed to be upset if plans are broken. If you're just having a bad day and are feeling down on yourself and they get and tell you to shut up about it, they are wrong, not you. Anyone who makes you feel like your feelings aren't a priority is not someone to invest time into. Humans are emotional beings and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. Anyone who makes you feel otherwise is toxic to your well-being.
4. Sometimes no sign is the best sign.
So often we get caught up in the idea of the relationship that we fail to see what's right in front of our face. If you find yourself wondering if someone wants to be around you or wants to talk to you, open your eyes. If you find that the only time you talk is when you initiate the conversation, chances are they aren't as invested as you. If the only time you two make plans to hang out is when you initiate them, or the plans you make get cancelled by them every time chances are they aren't ready for the same things you are. Don't torture yourself over where you stand in someone's life, open your eyes to what's right in front of you.
5.Never lose yourself in an effort to keep someone else.
As I've mentioned before, relationships can be blinding. As a result, we often put our special person's needs before our own. When this happens it's not long before we lose who we were before the relationship. Before we know it we stop seeing our friends and family as often, stop doing our favorite goofy past-times, and spend all our time glued to the side of our special someone. All your friends and families notice and a few even call you out on it. Please, please, please listen to them. They were there before and will be there after, don't leave them behind for a temporary thing.