Everyone at this party is having a good time, enjoying the atmosphere of an OK Spotify playlist (at least it doesn’t play ads) and some decent food. Friends are all gathered together in clusters of varying conversation, laughing and tossing jokes around the room. Your party is a hit, and you can finally relax and soak in the vibe of the night. Then that different-diet-lifestyle friend arrives.
1. They're not going to eat any of the food.
It is just the worst. How terrible is it that she leaves all the delicious food alone and for everyone else? That platter of veggies and dip you bought is suddenly gone, meaning you won’t have to throw that all out later -- so annoying.
2. Your omnivore friends will notice.
Of course everyone is going to notice the one person who politely refuses a burger. It’s a BURGER. What are your friends supposed to do when they are already one patty in and there are extras? More meat for them is just absurd; nobody wants to have seconds. And the feelings get weirder when the salad is actually being eaten.
3. They won’t stop talking about it.
Once that one friend decides to jump into asking questions, that diet-restricting friend now has to explain their entire life story to the room. Nobody wants to hear about ethical or health reasons -- that’s not interesting! All this chitter-chatter is leading to a heated debate about morality and biology… Sheesh, it was just a simple and hostile question.
4. It becomes a huge distraction.
That carrot-chomping guest is too alien. You can’t help but notice their healthier choices and feel personally impacted. Their lifestyle isn’t like yours, therefore it makes no sense. Nobody can focus on the party when that one person next to them hasn’t had a chicken nugget in who knows how long.
5. It just isn’t healthy.
C’mon now, how does that vegan (or vegetarian) get any protein or calcium? No way they can live off of just produce alone. You can’t host this party knowing that friend is practically starving themselves with a malnourished life. Somebody grab that burger!
*This article was written with a humorous and sarcastic tone.