I have been struggling with eating disorders for what feels like forever. I'm sure anorexia comes to mind first for many of you. However, eating disorders can be any range of psychological disorders characterized by abnormal eating behaviors. I've never been diagnosed with one specific eating disorder because I fit the criteria for multiple.
This subject has always been taboo. Most people feel uncomfortable talking about it or don't know enough about it to discuss it. These are just a few of the reasons why it's important for people to openly talk about eating disorders.
1. Eating disorders are NOT a choice like some people believe
Many individuals with EDs don't feel comfortable opening up about what they're struggling with. It's a hard topic for us, especially because we know some may think we are bringing it upon ourselves. I've had so many people tell me to "just eat" or "go to the gym and you'll feel better" and I can tell you every time I hear this, I want to scream.
We are not choosing to not eat or to eat too much. We are struggling with a mental illness that is making us believe false things and behave in unnatural ways around food.
2. Binge eating is an eating disorder
OK, we all binge eat now and again. I mean, how can you not when your mom makes your all-time favorite food? (Pizza is my weapon of choice) Binge eating disorder is defined as recurrent binges while feeling out of control.
This is something SO many people in our generation joke about. You could easily scroll through Facebook and see more than five posts about overeating. To someone who regularly binge eats, these posts could be a trigger. Binge eating is not something to joke about. You never know who is seeing or hearing these "jokes."
3. People with eating disorders are almost always thinking about food
Eating disorders can be more mental than physical. We may be thinking about our next meal even though we're currently eating or about the number of calories in each bite.
Try discussing different things with your loved one. When you talk about food with someone who is struggling, it can push them further into their pit.
For me, others bringing up food sometimes triggers thoughts of incompetence in myself because of how often I think about it. This can make us spend too much time focused on something when we could put our energy towards spending time with loved ones.
Overall, just try to avoid conversations about food when interacting with an eating disordered person.
4. We are also constantly obsessing over our weight
On top of thinking about food, we are worried about our weight, size, or body shape. Many times, I've chosen not to go to a yoga class or out with friends because I believed I was too fat. No matter how many times you tell someone with an ED that they are not fat, they won't believe it.
This brings me to my next point, which is that commenting on an eating disordered person's weight is a big no-no. Telling them they look too skinny may be taken as a compliment or telling them they look healthy may lead them to believe they've gained weight.
5. We may not have constant symptoms or abnormal behaviors
I've had some days or weeks where I feel fully healed and recovered. Then, there are the weeks that I feel like I've taken twenty steps backward. This is one of the hardest parts. One day you could be thriving and the next day you'll feel like you may not survive. Just because someone with an ED appears to be doing better, doesn't mean the hardest of times won't return.
I understand that this is a sensitive subject for many people. However, if more people learned and discussed eating disorders, maybe us who struggle will have a much easier time getting it out in the open, finding treatment, and recovering. For anyone who is struggling, you are NOT alone and I promise there will be better days.
If you believe you or someone you know is struggling with an eating disorder, contact the National Eating Disorders Association at 800-931-2237 or www.nationaleatingdisorders.com