I do not like calling them “New Year’s Resolutions” because some of them are things that I am already doing and I want to keep doing them. They are realistic and if anything, else happens in 2018 that is as awesome as these well then that is just putting some frosting on the cake.
Acknowledging my self-worth
I can be a push over. Plan and simple. I try to put others ahead of myself and in result to doing so, I miss out on opportunities that could have helped in the long run. For others like me, we love to see the happiness or joy on other people’s faces. The second we see the smile, we instantly melt and want to keep the smile on the person’s face, no matter what it takes, including sacrifice of some kind. 2018 will be the year of no ‘sorries’ and ultimately making sure that I have taken care of everything for myself before dealing with others. If there are days when I want to absolutely no one, I should not feel bad about that. It will help be recharge myself, so I can be a better me for the next day.
Not being afraid of what others will think about me
This is a big one for me because, again, I am a people pleaser. But being one is exhausting. I think I was this way since I was a little kid, so it naturally became a part of me. I always tried to get the cool kids to like me, but always failed. Will not lie, I was bullied for most of my grade school life and I didn’t come to terms of how truly independent and special I was until I went off to college. My freshman year was kind of bust, but this year, my junior year, is when I realized that I should just be myself completely and if there are some people who do not like me for who I am, they can leave, no skin off my bones. I will probably be a tad bit upset, but sometimes in life people are meant to be in your life for a chapter, sometimes a paragraph or even a sentence. (Yes, I used that comparison because I am an English major.)
Putting my mental health as one of my top priorities
Sometimes I forget that I need to be my own advocate and then I end up in situations that could have been prevented if I had just spoken up. Being someone who has depression and anxiety is really challenging, and even though I was diagnosed with both 3 years ago, does not mean that it got any easier. Sometimes I go to class and I cannot learn because of how I am feeling and then I cannot concentrate and then I realized I am wasting my mom’s hard-earned money by not learning. I need to become more comfortable in allowing people (especially my school) about what I am going through so I can get help when needed. I recently started letting some of my friends know about this and become more open when they ask me to go out and do things. The old me would just do whatever they wanted, while I knew it was going to be terrible for me. I need to have more faith in the people around me, because I cannot always go through these days alone.
Understanding that I am growing up and so are my friends
This is the year when I would be entering my senior year of college. 20 years of my life have already gone by and I have learned so much from them as well as gain some nice friendships. This year, I shall appreciate my friendships more and not dwell on the times when I cannot be around them or if they are hanging out with other people that are not me. They have their lives and I have mine and sometimes, yes, I wish they accounted for me or included me in more things, but that is not going to help me grow as an individual. I have friends graduating college, getting jobs, getting married, moving across the country and I am so happy for them and that we can all stay the connected and that is the positive outtake that I want to continue to have in 2018.
Make this year a 180 turning point for my life
2018. The year I turn 21, the year my brother gets married, the year I will put a giant step in the direction of my career path and hopefully the year I become 100% me. I want this year to be full of things that will help launch my future. I want it to have scratches and bumps that I can learn from. I want it to make me laugh at 2017 for all the dumb things I used to dwell on because God enabled me to make a 180 turn and hit the ground running with ease into the bright future that I know I will have. I want this to be the year when I look back on it and say “Yep, this is when everything changed”. For all my HIMYM fans, I want this year to be “Legend…wait for it” well I guess we will have to wait for it right?