I call my cousin, Rachel, my cousister. In case you’re unaware of this term that I’ve completely made up, that means that she’s technically my cousin, but she feels more like a sister to me. She grew up in Maryland, and I grew up in New Jersey—but distance has never made a difference in our sisterhood. We’ve bonded over many parts of our lives, and I know I can always count on her to be there for me (or to write me into her fanfiction). So, I thought I’d share some lessons I’ve learned from having a cousister like Rachel.

1. Skype conversations make long-distance a little easier.

I love going on Skype and talking with my cousin for an hour, even when I could be getting ahead in homework or doing something with my college friends. It’s really hard to have someone you love be an hours-long plane ride away, but that’s the beauty of video calls—you get to see their smiling face even if the distance is too far to easily travel. Getting to share funny videos with Rachel, cracking each other up with jokes and stories, and sharing our artwork and writing with one another has always been a part of my life.

It was easier to see each other more often when we were both living with our respective parents, but we make an effort to Skype when possible. It means so much to me that we’re able to connect digitally, though it’s not quite the same as getting one of Rachel’s bone-crushing hugs when I get to see her in person. But it’s true that her cackling laughter is always able to cheer me up, even when I’m only hearing it through the computer speakers.

2. Age is just a number.

It’s just fine to be in your twenties and prefer children’s cartoons to dramatic Oscar-winners. Farting and burping can still be hilarious after 5 years old. You can like whatever you like, and that’s perfectly okay. I think we all need to learn to let go of age-based stereotypes, and let our inner “child” shine through. It doesn’t matter what other people think about the “correct” age of your hobbies or your favorite media; do what you love!

3. Fictional characters make excellent friends when you need some.

Rachel and I have both had trouble making friends in the past. We’ve also previously had (and continue to have) obsessions with different fictional worlds. Rachel started out with The Nightmare Before Christmas as her favorite; I started out with Teen Titans as mine. Sometimes, the most trusted person you can lean on is fictional, and that’s okay. Struggling with finding true friendships does not make you any less of a person. It’s okay to find comfort in a fictional world when the real world lets you down.

4. Own your faults and find strength in them.

Rachel and I have both dealt with many issues in the past and in the present. But something that I’ve learned from my amazing cousister is that having issues like mood problems or anxiety doesn’t have to be something that defines you negatively. You can own your issues and be whomever you need and want to be, not in spite of these issues but as a part of dealing with these issues. We are who we are, and we need not apologize for it.

Rachel is one of the strongest people that I know. She has been through hell and back and continues to be an inspiration to me with her creativity, passion, and love. She is my cousister, and I love her with all my heart. So happy birthday, Rachel, and here’s to many, many more.