For Christmas last year, I received perhaps the most precious gift I could have ever imagined: a fried egg costume. It was one of those things that I never even knew I needed but also couldn't believe I somehow didn't already own. For many, this is probably not one of those gifts that you would consider to be life-changing, but also, many people aren't me, so.

As it was December when I was gifted my egg costume, I had to wait nearly a year before finally getting to debut it for Halloween. It sat in my closet for months, folded pristine in the weird plastic bag that all costumes seem to come in (you know, those ones with the snaps at the top like they're trying to be fancy or something? It's literally just plastic, but whatever). I would think of it often, counting down the days in anticipation, awaiting the day I would finally don The Egg.

Halloween took a while to get here, though. 2016 has been a whirlwind of unparalleled garbage, each day delivering some more terrifying, absurd, and/or distasteful news. As time passed, my eagerness for The Egg grew, especially considering that it was just about all there was to look forward to besides the eventual end of this cursed year.

Somehow, someway, though, Halloween 2016 finally arrived. And I? I got to wear The Egg. For four straight days, in fact.

For those of you who are still confused as to why this experience seems to be so significant that I would take the time out of my life to write about it: One, thank you for continuing to read, I know you're probably really over this by now; and two, It actually taught me a lot about myself.

As weird as that may seem, my four consecutive days wearing a fried egg costume ended up being quite an eye-opening experience. For a while, I wasn't even really sure why, so I took a week to let it simmer in my mind before finally sitting down to write this. The following list are the things I learned. Please enjoy (as part of a fully balanced breakfast).

1. I look really good as an egg.

No, this is not an opportunity to brag about myself on the internet. And yes, this is a weird thing to think about myself. But like, it's true! Despite the fact that I was actually wearing a super cute dress underneath (the first night, at least), the egg costume truly enhanced the things about my body that I am most proud of. Mainly, the fact that it fits comfortably under a fried egg costume. Plus, it's rounded edges helped to accentuate my curves.

2. Everyone (and like, seriously everyone) loves egg puns.

Upon leaving the house that first evening, I knew the egg costume was basically just for me (but also the dear friend who bought it for me). What I did not know (but honestly should have seen coming) was that people were really gonna dig it. After the initial confusion — and there was a lot of confusion — people did begin to warm up to it, and almost immediately took to the puns.

3. There are a lot of good egg puns.

There are also a lot of bad ones. Luckily for me, I was on the receiving end of both types of puns for four days. There was a lot of repetition ("Wow, your costume sure is eggcellent!"), but then there were people who took it upon themselves to make it a challenge to be as creative and clever as possible. What was extra super cool about this was that both the costume and the puns made a bunch of people laugh, and like, there's nothing better than being able to bring joy to others. Even if the joy comes from a couple rotten jokes (Haha. Get it? Ugh, sorry).

4. I am brave when I am an egg.

Like, disturbingly brave, bizarrely brave, straight-up-harassed-a-bunch-of-male-strangers-in-a-truck-who-catcalled-my-friends brave. For anyone who knows me, I rarely even leave my house on a good day, so the whole shouting at complete strangers who probably could have killed me if they wanted to (I mean, look at me, I'm an egg) was a very new thing. But something about the egg costume made me feel invincible, I guess. At the very least, it made me want to speak my mind at some gross dudes who probably spent their entire evening driving around in that beat-up truck saying gross things at women just because they felt entitled to do so. Now I know that whenever I want to stand up for stuff I believe in, I just gotta be an egg.

5. It's easy to make friends as an egg.

Shockingly, people really dig The Egg. I never intended on gaining so much notoriety just by wearing an egg costume, but hey, it's a thing. Honestly, I might never bother with another costume ever again considering all the success I had with my peers as an egg. Even people that I didn't know all that well before have come to recognize me as "Egg," and if being an egg is a thing I can be known for, I'm truly honored. Like, what more could a person ask for in this life really? In the end, there's nothing better than a fried egg becoming a friend egg (Okay, I'm actually super sorry about that one).