On August 28, 2017, I reached the 25th year of my life. Like most recent birthdays it was lackluster; I woke up, had cake, opened a couple of presents, and then resumed my day as normal. But despite that day being more or less just ordinary, this year I have learned something things that would have been beneficial a decade ago when I was still struggling with some of the same issues I have now.

1. My life is my own, no matter the circumstances of my birth.

A lesson that we all have trouble coming to terms with, sometimes we feel like our life doesn’t belong to us. Whether it is a strong sense of religion or faith or perhaps you feel trapped in the family you had no choice in being born into, we all have accepted that some things are beyond our control.

You can be the surrounded by racists your entire life but it is your choice whether to accept it as the norm or understand how wrong it is. You can be raised as one way with all the added expectations, but if you know in your heart you are not meant to be this way, you work to be who you know you should be. People expect you to be one way because of where you are raised? Shove those expectations back at them and prove them different.

We all are born into circumstances outside our control. It is up to all of us if we live with or reject those circumstances.

2. You are more than the expectations laid out for you.

My parents' lives were different from mine. They lived in the South near the end of the civil rights era. My mother was in a single parent household for most of her life, and they both just had vastly different life experience.

Sometimes, in the effort of bettering the lives of their children, parents lay out expectations for you that you may not share. They want you to be wealthy so they drive you to be a doctor, they want to continue the family so they push you hard to marry, etc. Even if your interests eventually drift to align with theirs, remember you make that choice not them. They have lived their life, you need to live theirs. It is fine to accept their advice but in the end, it is your life to live.

3. Don’t be afraid to let go of relationships. Better ones are waiting.

This is a lesson that is difficult to deal with than others. The thought of letting go. Human beings are social creatures by nature. We bond through blood and we create connections through circumstances and interests. But we are always changing, and sometimes the people in our lives no longer fit into the narrative we are writing.

Sometimes it can be a romantic partner, a friend from school, a job you always thought you wanted, and it can even be family. You may think that these bonds will always last and sometimes it will, but there will come a time you have to choose between your betterment or that bond. The darkness of others may become too big to bear or maybe you feel like your growth through them has ended. It may take time, it may break your heart to do it, but never forget that sometimes it's best to let people go.

4. It is okay to ask for help.

I have suffered from depression for most of my life. And up until two years ago, I was always afraid of the consequences of admitting it.

Would I become a disappointment to my family? Will my friends and loved ones look at me the same way? Was I really making it up in my head? But there came a point in that crossroad where I mustered up the strength to talk to my doctor about seeing a specialist. That specialist went on to confirm what I always knew and helped me work to better myself with my condition.

Sometimes help comes from taking it upon yourself to seek it, and sometimes it comes from outside forces wanting to see you thrive. Don’t be afraid to reach out for that help. It doesn’t make you weak for accepting it, it simply makes us human.

5. You are only a quarter of a way through your story.

Sometimes in life, we forget that many of us have a long way to go before the end. If you are lucky, your first 25 years of life is just a start to something bigger and better.

So what if you don’t land your dream job? You have 25 more years to make something yourself or climb up the ladder. Still didn’t find love before your 25th? Maybe you aren’t meant to find it or maybe you will find it when you’re 60. Don’t know if you will have kids? Well, the world of health is getting better and better with helping older people have children. You are now not limited to your 20s to decide.

The point of all this is in the grand scheme of things life is short. But in the moment you have many years ahead of you to be the person you were meant to be. So don’t worry young ones still stuck in their primary years, chin up to those wandering through college, and to the young adults still figuring everything out, don’t worry we all are.

Happy birthday to all of those reaching this milestone! May the ones who weren’t able to make it give us the strength to keep moving.