Think You Want to Lose Weight? Read This First
Health and Wellness

Think You Want to Lose Weight? Read This First

it isn't all carrots and yoga, I know. I was a former "fat girl."

235

I have a confession.

It is a confession that keeps me up at night, wondering what people may think of me. It is one that I choose to keep to myself, because I am deathly afraid of what people may think. It is one that has taught me many, many things. Some of those, I would've never known.

Here it is: I used to be the "fat girl".

As much as I wish it would disappear from my life as fast as an ex-boyfriend, it never leaves. For some reason, it will always be a part of me. Honestly, that is the part I hate the most.

Here are a a few hard truths that I learned once I dropped 50 pounds.


1. Literally no one really cares about your size 

https://unsplash.com/photos/JcbTXZ0asYA

I'll be honest. Before I lost weight, I thought everyone was looking at me. I believed they were always watching me, seeing what I ate and how often. I spent too much time caring. I somehow made myself think that others had too much time on their hands and they could care about me. But really, I know that literally no one cares about your size. So, if you're thinking about losing weight because you're afraid of what others say, don't.

Like everyone else, we are always so caught up in our own minds. We are a machine full of too many emotions and a mind that seems to always think about ourselves. Turns out, everyone else is the same way.

We are all too busy worrying about ourselves to even judge anyone.

2. Losing weight doesn't feel or look pretty 

https://unsplash.com/photos/JcbTXZ0asYA

Before I lost weight, I had always believed that being "skinny" would make me "pretty". Or, at least in society's eyes. However, my opinion began to shift once those pounds began dropping. My clothes swallowed my body, making my stomach look droopy and my legs look like huge inch worms that never stretched out. You see, losing weight is a process. One that isn't pretty, as t.v. likes to notate.

On top of that, you will probably lose a ton of hair. I remember getting out of the shower one night, the mirror streaked by stream. I remember picking up a bush, wiping the mirror and noticing that my hair was falling out by the handfuls. I was scared. Over time, my once thick, long hair became thin and stringy. Which didn't help my confidence in any way.

Who knew that getting dressed would become an emotional roller coaster? Who knew that staring into the mirror, staring my my imperfections would become my favorite self deprecating past time? To this day, I still don't see a "skinny" person.

3. Losing weight isn't a magic trick

https://unsplash.com/photos/JcbTXZ0asYA

Throughout high school, I always thought that the "skinny" girls were the happiest. They always had the boyfriends and secrete admirers and friends. They laughed. They loved life. Or, so I thought.

ha

"When I am skinny," I thought. "I will be happy".

To this day, I still don't know why I thought that.

You see, those girls that were "skinny and happy" probably had grown to love life through trials and tough love. The fact that they were smaller than I was probably had nothing to do with their smile.

So, when I lost the weight, you can see why I was confused. I didn't wake up magically happy. I didn't gain a boyfriend. I was still Hannah.

Turns out, I make my own happiness, not bones or chubby bellies.

4. It is so easy to fall into unhealthy habits ​

https://unsplash.com/photos/JcbTXZ0asYA

I ate 700 calories a day for about a year. No lie, this isn't healthy. But I was so obsessed with the idea of being "skinny".

Whenever I went out and saw someone I hadn't seen since the weight loss, I was addicted to their compliments. They would say, "oh Hannah! You look so skinny. How'd you do it?" I would simply tell them that I was counting calories and say nothing else. I was embarrassed to spill the details, but I loved the compliments too much to stop.

I knew that I needed to watch my weight and make sure I didn't gain any. I thought they were watching and waiting for me to relapse. I couldn't even stand the thought. So, I dieted harder.

Today, I rarely fall into those unhealthy habits. But, without a doubt, it is so easy to become too obsessed.

And no one tells you that.

I remember this specific day so clearly. It was one day after I had managed to summon up up enough (fake) confidence to post a "before" picture on my Facebook.

One of my new friends stopped me that next day, looking me in the eyes. I knew they had something to say, but the millisecond wait made me nervous.

There was something in her eyes that caught me off guard. It was a cocktail of confusion and admirment. "I would've never guessed," she simply stated.

I was confused. I remember giving her a look that said "what the heck are you talking about??"

Then, she answered my look, "your picture on Facebook. Your weight loss. I would've never guessed".

I stopped. "Really?"

And this was the moment that I realized that the weight will always be a part of me. Sometimes, it isn't that bad. It can teach me things. It gives me a story to tell others.

So, friend. Please take care of yourself. Your body deserves all the best.

love, the former fat girl

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Health and Wellness

People Are Eating Salads For Breakfast, And It's About Time

As Americans we know we all need to eat more fruits and veggies, why not do it at breakfast?

I first started seeing a dietitian in late 2017. At the time, I was the heaviest I've ever been at about 210 lbs. At the first appointment, my dietitian asked me to record what I ate in a food diary so she could better understand my habits and give me better direction in changing my lifestyle. I did exactly that and returned a week later, diary in hand. After a cursory glance at the pages, she first remarked at how few fruits and vegetables I ate. Deep down I had already known that, but what I didn't know then was that I was far from being alone in that respect. According to a Times article, about 90 percent of Americans don't consume enough fruits and vegetables to meet current dietary guidelines. It's hardly rocket science as to why that is — many of our diets consist mainly of carbs and non-planted based protein. This isn't to say that carbs and protein are the devils; they're both parts of a balanced diet. However, vegetables and fruit are also part of a balanced diet — a part that often gets neglected. So, when I see people on Instagram eating salad for breakfast, I think to myself "It's about time!"

Keep Reading... Show less
Lifestyle

Founders Of Color Q&A: Yarlap's MaryEllen Reider On Destigmatizing Women's Health

The father-daughter duo co-founded the brand and has since generated a passionate, dedicated community of women.

MaryEllen Reider

I was lucky enough to meet MaryEllen Reider over a decade ago as a fellow freshman in college. Since then, I had the luxury of being able to witness her evolution from the faithful companion I went to my first job fair with to the woman who is now a pioneer in destigmatizing the portrayal of women's reproductive health.

Keep Reading... Show less

My favorite Editor was feeling under the weather yesterday. All I wanted was to make her a vegan iced matcha latte. With distance forbidding it, I instead decided to write up this quick, easy recipe. I made it to be vegan and organic for optimal health benefits.

Matcha green tea is made from grounded green tea leaf and it comes with the most antioxidant boost ever.

Keep Reading... Show less

This coffee brand is USDA organic. Newman's Own Keurig coffee flavors are all organic. They have French Roast, Decaf, and a Special Blend. I'm in a committed relationship with the French Roast flavor. The smell alone from dispensing 1 cup of coffee sets a whole cafe jazz vibe.

I'm already relaxed when I smell the coffee all ready for dressing. The way I make my coffee is simple and sweet, literally. I add a spoon of organic brown sugar and a splash of organic almond vanilla milk. This cup of coffee has changed my life forever. I have never been so productive in my life and I truly believe it's because the coffee is organic.

Keep Reading... Show less

These organic, cruelty-free skincare products are great for hot, sweaty summers. I use them every day, so you will find my honest opinion about them all. I highly recommend using organic products because they are least likely to be harmful to your body.

This may seem like an extra step when it comes to your beauty routine, but it's really easy. These 5 products could be the start of your next beauty venture.

Keep Reading... Show less
Lifestyle

These 5 Black Handbag Designers Should Be On Every Accessory Lover's Radar

With the push to support more Black-owned businesses, we've put together a list of Black owned handbag designers.

Ever since the current upheaval of societal silence happening in the country caused by the #BlackLivesMatter movement, there has been a bigger push for people to support Black-owned businesses.

Granted, there are a lot fo Black-owned businesses to support, it just takes time to find them. With that being said, fashion is a sector, just like any sector really, in a culture that still has people of color calling out for more diversity.

Keep Reading... Show less
Facebook Comments