Do I actually have a good sense of humor if my tweet doesn't get at least 10 retweets? Our snap streak broke, are we actually friends? Do people not like me because they don't post me on their Instagrams? They didn't follow me back, am I a boring person?
At some point or another, we're all concerned with how our social media profiles reflect us and search for validation in numbers. This need for instant validation weighs on relationships with ourselves and other people in our lives. It's a twisted way to determine self-worth and real friendships.
I've asked students heavily active on social media to explain some of the stresses social media bring and how they overcome the constant comparison online.
1. Deven (Montclair State University)
I don't necessarily feel pressure from others, but I am very aware and conscious of what I post to accurately represent myself... I feel a lot of people deal with the pressure in order to fit in. All of my posts reflect who I am and what I look like. I love being outside so I post a lot of photos of mountains and rivers, and support our National Parks. I learned that comparison will kill you, don't do it! You can't look at a photo and tell if someone is happy with their life. You have no idea. I've had glimpses of insecurity, but it only lasts about three seconds... I thought about myself in real life, and I think I am kind, warm, and understanding, and that's what really matters.
2. Andrew (Syracuse University)
"My social media didn't reflect who I am or wanted to put out into the world until summer 2018... I finally feel comfortable and started caring less about how many likes/connections a post would gain for me. I believe many people, including myself, are too quick to preassume someone's personality, morals, values, and overall presence through Instagram. It can definitely play a role in creating unhealthy standards in self-worth and overall worth of materialism... It has been a vicious competition in some platforms, but it has also helped build friendships you wouldn't be able to connect with otherwise. As cliche as it sounds, the more you compare yourself to others through photos, the more you lose what you genuinely want to share with the world. Eliminate the fear of judgment and replace that with positivity instead."
3. Sofia (Rutgers University)
I always see people posting pictures with breathtaking aesthetics and want to mimic them instead of showing people who I really am. Especially now in college, I see people from other schools having an amazing time in beautiful places and I feel the pressure to post the same. My profile is more of like a highlight reel. I might love memory and want to share it with people, but if my hair is weird or if it doesn't have a certain look, I won't post it. Whenever I do face those insecurities, I remember my dad told me, 'It's social media, who gives an sh*t.'"
4. Peter (Penn State University)
I find some pictures cool or want to post don't always meet standards out there and I don't end up posting. But for the ones I do end up posting, it shows who I really am because they're all things I like, found funny, or has a great memory attached. It's easier said than done, but I'm learning that it's my Instagram and I can post whatever I want.
5. Hannah (Syracuse University)
"As many adolescent girls do, I constantly felt the pressure to be like starting around middle school. It worsened with social media, specifically Instagram and Snapchat. I always posted to impress a specific person or a group of people as if I had to fit into a brand. In high school, I felt that I needed to express my personality more through Instagram because I didn't want to be flattened by images of me. Whether you have social media or not, it always reflects who you are or who you want to be. Even if you don't have an Instagram, it says something about you as a person too! Don't let flattened images of yourself, flatten who you are in real life."
A big thank you to those who answered my questions! Make sure to check out their Instagrams, but don't compare yourself because you are great just the way you (and your profile) are.
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