5 College Problems Better Than Finals Week

5 College Problems Better Than Finals Week

I'd rather deal with just about anything else, honestly.
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The relaxation of the Macy's Thanksgiving Parade, football, and eating your body weight in mashed potatoes has passed, and college students reluctantly made the trek back to campus. We put away our stretchy pants and instead, break out the books and laptops. The eye of the hurricane was Thanksgiving Break, and we've now hit the second wind: Finals.

Finals week is quickly approaching, and it's setting off every alarm that this semester has truly flown by. While we all prepare for the storm of studying for days upon days, here's a list of college problems that I'd rather have to deal with than finals week.

1. Every parking lot being full

There's nothing like having class in fifteen minutes and you're stuck doing circles around every lot, praying someone will leave. Half the time, you just have to say "screw it" and either risk the parking ticket or skip class. Dealer's choice.

2. Buying every textbook and not using a single one

"This is mandatory," "You need the book, too, not just the access code." Of course, I love dropping $400 on textbooks just to have the bookstores either not accept them to return because they're getting an updated version next semester, or getting 1/6th of what I paid back.

3. Having a negative account balance and needing to pay your bills

This is probably the one constant, universal law of college students: Whether you're paying for your school or not, you're broke. Not only do I need to worry about how I'm going to pay for my next meal, I now need to worry about whether or not I've wasted a semester's worth of money.

4. Walking to class in the pouring rain after missing the campus shuttle

Everything is soaked. Your backpack, your clothes, your soul. A part of you died a block ago. Your professor should just be glad you even bothered to show up, because usually only a third of the class has.

5. Running out of money on your meal plan before the semester is half over

You'd be amazed at how long a tub of snacks and $4 in your bank account can last you when you're determined enough. College means living on a tight budget, so you'd better learn how to make ramen noodles in a coffee pot.

Cover Image Credit: Pexels

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50 Quotes from the Best Vines

If you're picturing the vines in your head, you're doing it right
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In 2017 we had to say goodbye to one of the best websites to ever roam the internet: Vine. In case you have been living under a rock since 2013, Vine was -(sad face)- a website and app that took the internet and the app store by storm in Winter 2013. It contained 6-second videos that were mostly comedy- but there were other genres including music, sports, cool tricks and different trends. Vine stars would get together and plan out a vine and film it till they got it right.

It was owned by Twitter and it was shut down because of so many reasons; the viners were leaving and making money from Youtube, there was simply no money in it and Twitter wanted us to suffer.

There's been a ton of threads on Twitter of everyone's favorite vines so I thought I'd jump in and share some of my favorites. So without further ado, here are some quotes of vines that most vine fanatics would know.

1. "AHH...Stahhp. I coulda dropped mah croissant"

2. "Nate how are those chicken strips?" "F%#K YA CHICKEN STRIPS.....F%#K ya chicken strips!"

3. "Road work ahead? Uh Yea, I sure hope it does"

4. "Happy Crimus...." "It's crismun..." "Merry crisis" "Merry chrysler"

5. "...Hi Welcome to Chili's"

6. "HoW dO yOu kNoW wHaT's gOoD fOr mE?" "THAT'S MY OPINIONNN!!!.."

7."Welcome to Bible Study. We're all children of Jesus... Kumbaya my looordd"

8. Hi my name's Trey, I have a basketball game tomorrow. Well I'm a point guard, I got shoe game..."

9. "It's a avocadooo...thanks"

10. "Yo how much money do you have?" "69 cents" "AYE you know what that means?" "I don't have enough money for chicken nuggets"

11. "Hurricane Katrina? More like Hurricane Tortilla."

12. "Hey Tara you want some?" "This b*%th empty. YEET!"

13. "Get to Del Taco. They got a new thing called Freesha-- Free-- Freeshavaca do"

14. "Mothertrucker dude that hurt like a buttcheek on a stick"

15. "Two brooss chillin in a hot tub 5 feet apart cuz they're not gay"

16. "Jared can you read number 23 for the class?" "No I cannot.... What up I'm Jared, I'm 19 and I never f#@%in learned how to read."

17. "Not to be racist or anything but Asian people SSUUGHHH"

18. 18. "I wanna be a cowboy baby... I wanna be a cowboy baby"

19. "Hey, I'm lesbian" "I thought you were American"

20. "I spilled lipstick in your Valentino bag" "you spilled- whaghwhha- lipstick in my Valentino White bag?"

21. "What's better than this? Guys bein dudes"

22. "How'd you get these bumps? ya got eggzma?" "I got what?" "You got eggzma?"

23. "WHAT ARE THOSEEEEE?" "THEY are my crocs!"

24. "Can I get a waffle? Can I please get a waffle?"

25. "HAPPY BIRTHDAY RAVEN!" "I can't sweem"

26. "Say Coloradoo" "I'M A GIRAFFE!!"

27. "How much did you pay for that taco?" Aight yo you know this boys got his free tacoo"

28. *Birds chirping* "Tweekle Tweekle"

29. "Girl, you're thicker than a bowl of oatmeal"

30. "I brought you Frankincense" "Thank you" "I brought you Myrrh" "Thank you" "Mur-dur" "huh...Judas..no"

31. "Sleep? I don't know about sleep...it's summertime" "You ain't go to bed?" "Oh she caught me"

32. "All I wanna tell you is school's not important... Be whatever you wanna be. If you wanna be a dog...RUFF. You know?"33. "Oh I like ya accent where you from?" "I'm Liberian" "Oh, my bad *whispering* I like your accent..."

34. "Next Please" "Hello" "Sir, this is a mug shot" "A mug shot? I don't even drink coffee"


35. "Hey did you happen to go to class last week?" "I have never missed a class"

36. "Go ahead and introduce yourselves" "My name is Michael with a B and I've been afraid of insects my entire-" "Stop, stop, stop. Where?" "Hmm?" "Where's the B?" "There's a bee?"

37. "There's only one thing worse than a rapist...Boom" "A child" "No"

38. "Later mom. What's up me and my boys are going to see Uncle Kracker...GIVE ME MY HAT BACK JORDAN! DO YOU WANNA SEE UNCLE KRACKER OR NO?


39. "Dad look, it's the good kush." This is the dollar store, how good can it be?"

40. "Zach stop...Zach stop...You're gonna get in trouble. Zach"

41. "CHRIS! Is that a weed? "No this is a crayon-" I'm calling the police" *puts 911 into microwave* "911 what's your emergency"

42. "WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY? "

43. *Blowing vape on table* * cameraman blows it away* "ADAM"

44. "Would you like the spider in your hand?" "Yea" "Say please" "Please" *puts spider in hand* *screams*

45. "Oh hi, thanks for checking in I'm still a piece of garrbaagge"

46. *girl blows vape* "...WoW"

47. *running* "...Daddy?" "Do I look like-?"

48. *Pours water onto girl's face" "Hello?"

49. "Wait oh yes wait a minute Mr. Postman" "HaaaAHH"

50. "...And they were roommates" "Mah God they were roommates"


I could literally go on forever because I just reference vines on a daily basis. Rest in peace Vine

Cover Image Credit: Vine

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Poetry On Odyssey: 'Surround'

Inspired by Surround Yourself, an exhibition by Jordan Wilshaw at Eastern Michigan University in April of 2018.
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Sound yourself with the doers.


Surround yourself with the movers,

the shakers,

the believers,

the winner,

the crazies.


Surround yourself with the the dreamers.


Surround yourself with the “good ones”.

Surround yourself with the people who just get it — whatever “it” is.


Surround yourself with people you love.
Surround yourself with those who love you.
Surround yourself with love.



Surround yourself with art.


___________________

For more art by Wilshaw, see their website here.

Cover Image Credit: Author's Photo

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