University has begun again—here in the University of Washington, at the precipices from September to October. The thrill of the new school year exudes enthusiasm and excitement from the RSO Fair advertising their clubs to the welcomes of syllabus week, which eventually mutate to a point of no return.

Like every other school year, I’m engulfed by the passion and the romance of a golden year, promising myself I will do better and involve myself more within this school. After a summer of doing nothing, fear gnaws at me as a start my third year. However, it doesn’t come in one form, but is a multiheaded demon I must conquer:

1. Will I ever be hired by anybody?

This is a common concern by many college students—though I feel like it might be pressuring me a lot. A few months ago, I got an interview with a stationary store; however, I didn’t get the job because of a lack of experience. As a way to get experience, I’m worried I haven’t found the right opportunities for me to do so, or that I may be looking in the wrong place.

A common concern my father brings up is how my major might not get any job offers from after graduation. In the back of my mind, I know I have to find ways to write and do research on something, which leads to…

2. A little lack of a spark

Here are some things I’m interested in: world politics, different cultures, religions, languages, foods, history, literature. Not necessarily in that order, but these are some subjects I would want to do research on.

And like other students, I look at the professors’ introductions to see what they're researching interests were and asked them in person if/when I get the chance. So far, nothing stands out as a project I want to delve in further. And so I wait for a chance that would be perfect enough for me to commit in the long term.

3. Time is running out

The first two years are almost trial runs of college. I took interesting classes and committed to the clubs I want to involve myself in, and got into the major I desired. Yet a whole world still exists in the university, which I have a limited time to navigate.

I want to learn another language, even though I want to be fluent in Chinese. I want to do more art and theater or take the foreign policy classes I want.

4. Lack of agency

A lot of people say college or any other educational experience is what you make of it. You can utilize the resources given to you from the tuition, or you can let it pass by like the seasons.

So far, looking back through the two years in first half of my college career, I did well in them. I took interesting classes and got good grades in them. I’ve met some amazing people and hope to work more with them and get to develop a close bond with them.

But like everyone else, I slipped in some places: I still procrastinate, I do mediocre work, and sometimes, I don’t try at all. I’ve lost a few opportunities through these minuscule, yet significant mistakes and I recognize this. I’m currently trying to seek these out, and committing to making these a garden of flowers. This also requires self-reflection, something I haven’t fully mastered, despite the constant journal entries.

5. Nuclear warfare

I remember back in high school, people thought that the world was going to end in 2012, and somewhat acted accordingly. While this prospect is still unlikely, I want peace and an opportunity to use my skills before I graduate!