5 Things We're All Afraid Of Going Into Junior Year

5 Things We're All Afraid Of Going Into Junior Year

Ok, but now I have to worry about nuclear war when I'm trying to prep for my future?
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University has begun again—here in the University of Washington, at the precipices from September to October. The thrill of the new school year exudes enthusiasm and excitement from the RSO Fair advertising their clubs to the welcomes of syllabus week, which eventually mutate to a point of no return.

Like every other school year, I’m engulfed by the passion and the romance of a golden year, promising myself I will do better and involve myself more within this school. After a summer of doing nothing, fear gnaws at me as a start my third year. However, it doesn’t come in one form, but is a multiheaded demon I must conquer:

1. Will I ever be hired by anybody?

This is a common concern by many college students—though I feel like it might be pressuring me a lot. A few months ago, I got an interview with a stationary store; however, I didn’t get the job because of a lack of experience. As a way to get experience, I’m worried I haven’t found the right opportunities for me to do so, or that I may be looking in the wrong place.

A common concern my father brings up is how my major might not get any job offers from after graduation. In the back of my mind, I know I have to find ways to write and do research on something, which leads to…

2. A little lack of a spark

Here are some things I’m interested in: world politics, different cultures, religions, languages, foods, history, literature. Not necessarily in that order, but these are some subjects I would want to do research on.

And like other students, I look at the professors’ introductions to see what they're researching interests were and asked them in person if/when I get the chance. So far, nothing stands out as a project I want to delve in further. And so I wait for a chance that would be perfect enough for me to commit in the long term.

3. Time is running out

The first two years are almost trial runs of college. I took interesting classes and committed to the clubs I want to involve myself in, and got into the major I desired. Yet a whole world still exists in the university, which I have a limited time to navigate.

I want to learn another language, even though I want to be fluent in Chinese. I want to do more art and theater or take the foreign policy classes I want.

4. Lack of agency

A lot of people say college or any other educational experience is what you make of it. You can utilize the resources given to you from the tuition, or you can let it pass by like the seasons.

So far, looking back through the two years in first half of my college career, I did well in them. I took interesting classes and got good grades in them. I’ve met some amazing people and hope to work more with them and get to develop a close bond with them.

But like everyone else, I slipped in some places: I still procrastinate, I do mediocre work, and sometimes, I don’t try at all. I’ve lost a few opportunities through these minuscule, yet significant mistakes and I recognize this. I’m currently trying to seek these out, and committing to making these a garden of flowers. This also requires self-reflection, something I haven’t fully mastered, despite the constant journal entries.

5. Nuclear warfare

I remember back in high school, people thought that the world was going to end in 2012, and somewhat acted accordingly. While this prospect is still unlikely, I want peace and an opportunity to use my skills before I graduate!

Cover Image Credit: pexels

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You May Have Worn The Prom Dress With Him, But I Get To Wear The Wedding Dress

You had him in high school, but I get him for the rest of my life.
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High school seems like the best time of your life when you are in it. You think that all of your friends will be with you until the end, and that you will end up with whoever you are dating your senior year. For very few, that might just be the case. For all others, that is far from true.

You thought that you would marry your boyfriend and you thought that everything would work out how you had always imagined. I don't blame you though. He's great. You wanted everything with him, but you were just not right for him.

I wish I could say that I am sorry it didn't work out for you, but I can't. I can't because he is mine now, and I get to cherish him forever. You didn't do that right, and you were not meant to be together. You will find someone too, but I am happy that you were not the one for him.

Sometimes I have issues with jealousy, and I hate that you got all of the high school stuff with him. You got to go to games and support him. It kills me that I couldn't be there for him because I know I would have actually been there wholeheartedly. I would have done it out of love, not as a popularity appearance.

I hate that you got to go to all of the school dances with him. He got to see you all dressed up and probably told you how great you looked. I'm sure you did look great. Prom dresses were always fun to pick out and so colorful. It was exciting to match colors with your date. I am sure you had fun choosing his matching tux to your dress.

I find myself getting jealous, but then I stop. I am getting to match his tux with our wedding colors. I got to go dress shopping in a sea of white, and he doesn't get to know one detail about that dress yet. He will get to see me walk down the aisle and then every day forever. I get to love him forever.

I try to not get jealous of all of the things you got with him because it is all in the past. You had your time, and now I get the wedding. You got to dress up in high school, but I get to dress up for my wedding with him. He may have put a corsage on your wrist, but he will be putting the wedding ring on my finger.

Cover Image Credit: Jessy Scott

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I Expected It To Have It All Together By 22 And I'm Still Far From That

What we expected and what reality actually is, are two completely different things...

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Oh our 20s, how we expected them to be so different. We expected to graduate college at 22, have a career by 23, be engaged by 24, married with a house by 25, kids by 26-28, vacationing with the family by 30, and retired by 60. We expected college to be parties and cute boys/girls. Instead, we got late nights of studying and crying after a job that barely pays for our car, food, dorm, and textbooks. We get no social life and if we do our grades suffer for it.

Our 20s were expected to be all fun but all we got were struggles and stress. I mean I don't know about you but I expected, to have it all together and I'm nearly 23 and far from it. I had all the scholarships and great grades, and I still don't have any type of degree.

Reality hits after 18. Most of us don't have the help of mom and dad anymore. We have to find our way and make a path for ourselves. Sometimes our dreams and goals have to be put on hold for that. The 20s isn't fun. It's about discovering who you are, who you want to be, and where you want to go. Some of us serve our country, some become incarcerated, some of us parents, some teachers, others cops, others travel or study abroad, some dead, some ill, other managers, others homeless, some still living home, and some even addicts.

The weird thing about your 20s is everyone is doing something different, but yet everyone is confused and comparing themselves to others. People feel if they're not doing what others are doing, in their age group then they have failed themselves. What people forget is that with life comes obstacles and sacrifice and everyone's life and situations are different. You are where you need to be right now, for you, and I think that's something to remember in your 20s.

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Another thing about your 20's is you're free to think for yourself now. No more having to follow a religion you dislike or hold back from things you love. The world is literally yours to discover and learn from. Possibilities are endless! I think your 20's are the years you create yourself to the best version of you and build the foundation for your future. Just remember, we all build at our own pace.

Signed,

The lost 22-year old that believes in you

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