40 Things I'd Rather Do Than Vote for Donald Trump
Politics and Activism

40 Things I'd Rather Do Than Vote for Donald Trump

And why his candidacy still confuses me


When Donald Trump first announced his presidential campaign I think that I—along with the rest of America—thought it was a super funny joke. And I think the moment when everyone realized that he was actually serious was the same moment that everyone actually started contemplating moving to Canada and staying there forever. I'm not afraid to say that I got this idea from another outstanding article I saw on this website last week by a fabulous writer named Brooke Soldo (check her out!), so I thought I'd give it a shot. Here's a list of 40 things I'd rather do than vote for Donald Trump.

1. Have a nice, romantic dinner with my ex-boyfriend.

2. Go on a beautiful, sensual vacation with my ex-boyfriend.

3. Spend 5 minutes with my ex-boyfriend.

4. Clean the bathrooms at my McDonald's after a 5-year-old's party.

5. Have lunch with Bill O'Reilly.

6. Stand in a room full of Trump supporters wearing a Gay Pride Shirt.

7. Go clubbing with my Junior year AP Biology teacher.

8. Marathon the entire series of "Dance Moms."

9. Actually read my Fall semester comparative religion textbook.

10. Re-live my freshman year of high school.

11. Share a bed with 4 camel spiders.

12. Wear a chastity belt.

13. Spend time with my sister and her boyfriend after they've spent a really long time apart.

14. Eat a raw potato.

15. Pierce and tattoo my nipples.

16. Cry

17. Die

18. Shave my head.

19. Throw my phone, laptop, and tablet, at a moving truck.

20. Be a waitress.

21. Work anywhere in retail, like ever.

22. Repeatedly sing the Applebee's birthday song until I want to rip out my own voice box.

23. Use a port-o-potty at Coachella.

24. Explain the concept of Tinder to my aunt.

25. Melt down and eat all of my lipstick collection like some weird tie-dyed ice cream cone.

26. Hear a lecture on the nutritional benefits of beets by Dwight Schrute.

27. Walk across a field of Legos in my bare feet.

28. Give birth without using drugs.

29. Give birth at all (seriously, I really don't want kids.)

30. Go on a date with every guy who made a passively sexist comment to me in the drive-thru window.

31. Go on a lunch date with Kylie Jenner.

32. Live in a world without dogs.

33. Let the guy who cat-called me that one day in Camden get to second-base.

34. Live in the South Park version of Canada until I die.

35. Stand in a room full of people chewing.

36. Train my birds to say curse words.

37. Auction off a date with me on Craigslist.

38. Lose my Netflix account.

39. Buy dinner for everyone who right-swiped me on Tinder.

40. Go on a hunting trip with my sister's ex-boyfriend.

So what's the point of all this? I think it's what so many people have been trying to say for literally so long now. As a country, we are seriously considering electing a racist, bigoted, misogynistic, xenophobe as president. The man has barely any political experience, and yet there is a significantly large number of people who think that he would actually do a half-decent job. The man has told a woman that a pretty picture would be of her on her knees, said that he would date his daughter if she wasn't his daughter, and said the best thing about his first wife was that she did what he told her to do. Does no one see the problem in this? There is such a massively huge list of problems with this, and it truly astounds me that he has still amassed such a huge following. The man has said things blatantly racist, made many disgusting comments about women, and shown a complete lack of political knowledge. Seriously, the man answers questions like a kid who had to do a book report without reading the book. It's this terrifying mix of tragic and hilarious and at this point, Canada is becoming a very serious option for me.

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