In college, you are faced with the reality that you have to write a lot of papers. And I'm going to be honest with you... I have no idea what I'm talking about in about 3/4th of all of the papers I have written during my time here in college. Probably because professors expect you to write some kind of amazing work in your paper, all the while you still have tons of homework that you have to do while researching and preparing this paper. Nonetheless, there are so many things I'd rather do then work on his paper that I am procrastinating on. Things like...
1. Write an Odyssey article about 100 things I'd rather do than write this paper.
2. Deep clean my entire house.
3. Reteach myself to play the recorder that I haven't touched since fourth grade.
4. Go work out.
5. Chug a glass filled with spoiled milk.
6. Shave my legs with a chainsaw.
7. Stare directly into the sun.
8. Read the dictionary.
9. Be stuck in rush hour traffic every single time I drive.
10. Stab myself with my eyeliner every time I do it for a month straight.
11. Have an 8 A.M. class every single day for the rest of my college experience.
12. Find out I'm allergic to pasta.
13. Never be able to wear skinny jeans again.
14. Or yoga pants.
15. Assemble a piece of IKEA furniture all by myself without the instructions.
16. Get a FarmVille game invitation every single hour everyday for the rest of my life.
17. Only be allowed to watch movies with Nicholas Cage as the main character.
18. Shut my finger on a car door.
19. Be the only human left in the zombie apocalypse.
20. Drop my phone in the toilet.
21. Eat dog food for every meal for an entire week.
22. Get hit by a bus.
23. Only watch TV in black and white for the rest of my life.
24. Have the only song I'm allowed to listen to ever again the John Cena theme song.
25. Or Nickelback.
26. Go back to high school.
27. Be stuck in jury duty all day.
28. Have Kanye West do the toast at my wedding.
29. Only be allowed to use Internet Explorer as my browser.
30. Be Donald Trump's publicist.
31. Clean my entire bathroom with just a miniature sized toothbrush.
32. Have the only books I'm allowed to read for the rest of my life be textbooks.
33. Throw my laptop down a flight of stairs.
34. Always be connected to super slow wifi for the rest of my life.
35. Never be connected to wifi again at all.
36. Never eat cheese again.
37. Take part in the Hunger Games.
38. Have a carpet made out of legos by my bed that I step on every single morning.
39. Get food poisoning.
40. Step in dog or cat poop with bare feet.