SNL's "The Californians" Is Surprisingly Accurate

SNL's "The Californians" Is Surprisingly Accurate

A True Californian sets the truth straight about "The Californians", and California
1624
views

I'm sure we have all seen "The Californians" on Saturday Night Live. It's pretty outrageous, right? As a Californian girl, I'm here to explain what is an exxageration, and what is actually true.

The Freeway Talk

You may think this is a joke, but sadly it is not. You may be surprised, but every holiday I usually take seven freeways to my relatives' house. Not to go all "The Californians" on you but we take THE (and yes I said 'the,' because that's how it's done in SoCal) 55 to the 73 to my aunt's house, then the 5 to the 110 to my grandparent's house, then take the 605 to the 22 to the 405 all the way back to my house. I hope my example competes with this example from the show...

And another thing, traffic really does suck, and this is not an exaggeration at all. It's probably the worst thing in the world; definitely the worst thing in California.


The Accent

I am embarrased to say that I am a Californian with the Californian accent. In fact, my dad even teases me constantly about adding unnecessary vowels on the end of words. He says that I say "NO-AH", instead of "no". And we like say like every other word.


And once in a while you might even think that we're speaking an entirely different language.



The Look

Blondes, blondes everywhere! Everyone looks very similar with blonde hair, tan skin, while wearing the nicest sunglasses and the trendiest clothes.


And not only is there a look at all, but there is a desperate need to personify the "Perfect Californian". The constant worrying about your appearance, and mirror checks, are very unnecessary but also very common.


The Drama

It never ends... I think this is a universal one, but it is very prevalent in California. I cannot go a single day without some sort of drama happening in my group of friends. It does keep things interesting though!


I hope you enjoyed my Californian insight into our daily lives!

Cover Image Credit: www.pinterest.com

Popular Right Now

To the guy that shot my brother...

18150
views

To the guy that shot my brother,

On January 9, 2019 my families entire life changed with one phone call. The phone call that my little brother had been shot in the face, no other details. We didn't need any other details. The woman on the phone who called us in full panic told us where he was so we went, as soon as possible. I don't think it helped that not even 10 min prior I talked to Zach on the phone.. kind of irritated with him, and the ONE TIME I didn't say 'I love you' as we hung up. Could've been the last time we ever spoke.. I remember pulling up to the hospital thinking 'this can't be real' 'it's not our Zach' 'this is just a dream Sarah, WAKE UP' I'd close my eyes really tight just to open them, I was still in the hospital emergency parking lot. I could still hear the ambulance sirens coming. It was all real.

The day our life's changed was definitely a test of faith. A test of how strong we were, as a family. I sat in that waiting room ready to see the damage that has been done to my sweet baby brother. Because at that point we had no idea how lucky he got. That glimpse of seeing Zach will haunt me forever. How helpless I felt in that exact moment frequently wakes me up from these horrific dreams I've been having ever since that day. That is a moment burned into my me and families brain forever.

You always hear about these things in the movies or on the news, a house being shot up, someone shooting another innocent person, not to care if they died on your watch. But we found ourselves on the news.. We have been confined to the hospital since that day. Running on barely any sleep, taking shifts of sleep so we don't make ourselves sick taking care of Zach. Watching him suffer. Undergoing surgeries, to repair the damage you did.

Before I proceed let me tell you a little something about the man you shot.

Zachary Keith Wright. A blonde hair blue eyed boy. Who could potentially be the most annoying human on the planet (possibly coming from his sister). A man who loves his God first, loves his family second. Perfect by no means, but almost perfect to me. A 19 year old who was to graduate high school this month. After graduation he was prepping to leave for Marine boot camp in the summer.. being in the military has been Zach's dream since he could talk. Literally. Running around, playing war with underwear on our heads, and finger guns. Some would say we looked like natural born assassins.. growing up he has been a country boy. Let me tell ya country to the core. He loves this country like he loves his family. He believes in helping people, taking charge in what's right, and never leaving a brother behind. He's lived by that his whole life. Until now....

The day you shot him. The day not only did you change my brothers life, you changed his families life too. The day you almost ripped my brother out of this world... for what? A misunderstanding? Because you've let something take ahold of your life that you can't let go you're willing to kill someone innocent over? Luckily for him, his guardian angels were protecting him in your time of cowardice. There were 3 times that day he should've died, the time you shot him, the time you tried to shoot him again as he stared you directly in the face, (even tho he couldn't talk I know you could read his eyes, and he still intimidated you. That's why you tried to pull the trigger again) and the time he was running out of the house. But he lived. A man who was shot in the face, didn't lay there helpless, didn't scream in agony. That MAN walked to the neighbors to get help. Why? Because he's a MAN, and because he's on this earth for a reason.

It's gonna sound a little strange not only to you, but the audience who is reading this. I must say thank you. Even in this situation, this was the best outcome we could get. He gets to live. He will make a full recovery. He will graduate. And he will go off into the Marines. You united my family together. Closer than ever. Thank you. You tested our faith and brought us closer to our God. Thank you. Because of your moment of weakness, you showed us what prayer could do. Heal anything. Thank you. This was a bump in the road, and a helluva way to kick off our year of 2019. But here we are.. all laying in the hospital. I'm looking around as mom is sleeping in her recliner chair exhasted but still here, Zach his awake playing his xbox all hooked up to machines, fighting to heal and get better. And of course I'm writing this letter to you.

See you in trial,

From the girl whose brother you shot.

'Fight the good fight' - 1 Tim 6:12 🤟🏼💙

Related Content

Connect with a generation
of new voices.

We are students, thinkers, influencers, and communities sharing our ideas with the world. Join our platform to create and discover content that actually matters to you.

Learn more Start Creating

For My Fellow Lazy Gals, 11 Makeup Hacks To Splice Your Beauty Routine Time In Half

Beauty on a budget? I think yes.

13
views

If you're an extremely lazy girl who loves makeup on a budget, these hacks are perfect for you. I've been using most of these hacks for as long as I can remember, and I can basically guarantee that they work.

11.  Fix old mascara with contact solution. 

If you find that your mascara is getting clumpy and dry, an easy fix is to pour a couple drops of contact solution to make it good as new. However, mascara should be replaced two to three months after opening, so dryness after this period indicates it's time for a new bottle.

10. The easy way to do ombre nails. 

Paint a cotton ball/ beauty sponge with different ombre colors in the desired order and simply press it against your nails before it dries! Once they dry, you can easily remove the nail polish around your skin with remover.

9. Use a business card for winged eyeliner.

Using a credit card or any small object with a straight line can practically guarantee a perfect cat eye.

8. Use eyeshadow for bald spots.

If you have any bald spots in your hair, an easy solution is to find an eyeshadow shade that matches the color of your hair and simply fill in the spot with eyeshadow.

7. Use white bases.

Before applying your desired color of eyeshadow or nail polish, apply a white base to make the colors stand out from your skin or nails.

6. Use coconut oil as makeup remover.

Instead of spending money on makeup remover filled with harsh chemicals, going natural and using coconut oil is the best option. Although this can be messier, it leaves your skin extremely smooth and it is less likely you'll have a harsh reaction to it.

5. Adding moisturizer to foundation.

If you accidentally purchase a foundation that's too dark for your skin tone, mixing some moisturizer with it can lighten up the tone (this also works well if you have dry skin).

4. Use a business card for mascara.

Not only does this work for winged eyeliner, but using a business card for mascara can also prevent it from getting onto your eyelids. All you have to do is apply your mascara as you normally would, but keep a business card on your eyelid.

3. If you're not sure where to contour, draw the number 3. 

2. Make DIY face masks and hair masks. 

Instead of spending money on skin and hair masks, there are hundreds of natural remedies you can try online for basically every problem.

1. Apply Vaseline to your eyelashes. 

Applying Vaseline to your eyelashes every night can actually speed up the growth process of your eyelashes and eliminates the need for lash extensions or even mascara.

Related Content

Facebook Comments