Mental health is so important. Especially over the last year in lockdowns. Unfortunately with all the new time on our hands we have to put that energy somewhere. I know for years and even until last year I put all of my energy into things I really had no control over.
I decided to try to stop caring about what I couldn't do and focus on what I could do. It worked well and I'm so happy that I did it and can do it everhyday now.
The key is to ask yourself a series of questions and let the answers to those questions lead you to what you should do? Here's what I ask myself to decipher:
Can I control what is going to happen?
If I cannot change anything or control the outcome, is it really worth worrying about it? At that point it's more of a "trust the process" or "see where it goes" situation. These situations require patience, peace and calmness because if you worry too much if will do more damage and the "what ifs" may take over.
Will worrying about it change anything?
If it will change something, how will it change it? Will you benefit from worrying about? Probably not, but maybe.
If I do worry about it, will it do more damage or bring more good to my life?
I think there's a huge negative connotation to the word "worry". For the most part it is negative but sometimes worrying causes a person to take action, to be proactive, to stay accountable, which is the only reason I ask myself this question.
Am I really worried about it or is my anxiety telling me to be worried about it?
As a person who suffers from severe anxiety that has ended up in the hospital multiple times because of it, I have to remind myself what's real and what's not. Is this something calm, collected, "perfectly normal" me would worry about? Is this something I should worry about? If not, time to move on.
Obviously everyone is different and those questions will vary from person to person and situation to situation. But with that mindset it may help a lot of people to work through the stress they put on themselves. It's time to take care of ourselves.
It may never get easier to forget about it and stop worrying about it, but if you make a conscious effort to stop it may really calm you down and put the situation into perspective.
Regardless, the lesson: Take care of yourself and stop worrying about the things you cannot control. It will just bring you anxiety, sadness, guilt and a lot of other negative emotions you don't want or need in your life.