4 Halloween Costumes that are 2 Spooky 4 U

4 Halloween Costumes that are 2 Spooky 4 U

Forget carving pumpkins, lets incite true fear.
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Are you sitting there, half-reading these words right now because you're so distracted by the monstrous decision of how to scare the living bat ears out of everyone this Halloween?

Well, focus your full attention! The following words will inspire the gangly, twisted, moss-ridden monster within you to really cause some frightening moments on people this year.

4. A Rabid Dog

The terror of a rabid dog is one that pushes fear to a decision-making point very quickly. That dog's growling at you and you either run, or punt it. Either way it might give you a fatal nibble on the tootsies.

The great thing about this easy costume is that you don't even need to dress up. Lets face it, even if you did dress up, everyone would still know that you were a human. All you need to do is act like a rabid dog.

If you were in a bar having a nice time on Halloween with your horrifyingly spooky friends and some cunt scrabbled across the floor going "Arahahagrhghgahgrhagh!" and bearing his horrid teeth at you then be honest, you'd be bloody terrified.

3. A Fake Fake Doctor (Only Works If You're Actually a Real Doctor)

Lets say that your battle with that bloke in the pub who was acting like a rabid dog for Halloween didn't go so well. Now you're in A&E with a big red bite wound on your leg and nausea is setting in hard.

Your thinking, "Jesus, I'm gonna have to be bloody amputated at this rate, what a shit night!" That's a good opinion and a sound medical decision.

But what's this? The doctor's telling you that it's all in your head. There is no bite wound. Worst of all, he's pulling out an orbitoclast and restraining you with leather straps. He pulls out some gummy sweets and eats handful after handful of them, laughing wildly as they spill out of his mouth.

All the while you struggle to break free. Then he calls up what sounds like another doctor and starts asking for advice on how to lobotomize someone. You think, "is he even a bloody doctor?!"

What a terrifying prospect to think he might not be!

2. A Terrorist

You manage to release yourself from the grips of the fake, insane doctor. You're hobbling through the hospital clutching your swollen leg and searching for an exit. ]

Halloween is going ok. It's been pretty frightening so far, which is what it's all about.

At the reception desk, you taste the cold October air of freedom when a bearded white male slams through the main entrance screaming wildly. You leap behind some chairs and clutch a pair of legs that are as large as tree-trunks, thinking they might be your last point of living human contact.

Between the thighs and through a gap in the worn, green hospital chairs you see the man throwing off a trench-coat to reveal an intricate series of things that look like bombs wired all over his chest.

Being far too delirious from the rabid gentleman's bite and having had no valuable help from the fake fake doctor earlier, you think the papier-mache cubes on him are real bombs and faint from the ultimate fear that you are about to die. Spooky, eh?

1. A Policeman whose Job it is to Inform You that Everyone You Know and Love has Died

Finally, you wake up. Dust is stagnant in the cube of electronic white coming from the ceiling light filled with dead flies. A silhouette blurs into focus.

"Where am I?" you ask.

"In the hospital, son," says the unfamiliar voice of Stan Jones, the local sheriff (or so you think).

"What happened? I thought it was Halloween," you say, slightly disappointed that it might be over.

"It doesn't matter what ween it is, son. I've got some terrifying news for you."

You stare into his lightly wrinkled eyes that are blue enough to place his words directly into the center your mind.

"Your parents are dead," he says, looking deeper, "your friends, I've tried calling them all. They're all dead."

"But they-"

"I'm sorry, son. They're dead."

"What about-"

"He's dead," he says like a full stop. He lets out a long breath through his nose, looks downwards, places his hat upon his stringy, balding head and leaves you there, staring into your future completely devoid of recognisable contact. The longer you stare, the more terrifying the prospects become. Life seems so spooky without those you love, maybe even 2 spooky 4 u.


Did these fun and interesting ideas inspire you? Let me know which ones you're going to try this Halloween below!

Cover Image Credit: globe views

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15 Things Only Lake People Will Understand

There's no other place you'd rather be in the summer.
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The people that spend their summers at the lake are a unique group of people. Whether you grew up going to the lake, have only recently started going, or have only been once or twice, you know it takes a certain kind of person to be a lake person. To the long-time lake people, the lake holds a special place in your heart, no matter how dirty the water may look. Every year when summer rolls back around, you can't wait to fire up the boat and get back out there. Here is a list of things you can probably identify with as a fellow lake-goer.

1. A bad day at the lake is still better than a good day not at the lake.

It's your place of escape, where you can leave everything else behind and just enjoy the beautiful summer day. No matter what kind of week you had, being able to come and relax without having to worry about anything else is the best therapy there is. After all, there's nothing better than a day of hanging out in the hot sun, telling old funny stories and listening to your favorite music.

2. You know the best beaches and coves to go to.

Whether you want to just hang out and float or go walk around on a beach, you know the best spots. These often have to be based on the people you're with, given that some "party coves" can get a little too crazy for little kids on board. I still have vivid memories from when I was six that scared me when I saw the things drunk girls would do for beads.

3. You have no patience for the guy who can’t back his trailer into the water right.

When there's a long line of trucks waiting to dump their boats in the water, there's always that one clueless guy who can't get it right, and takes 5 attempts and holds up the line. No one likes that guy. One time my dad got so fed up with a guy who was taking too long that he actually got out of the car and asked this guy if he could just do it for him. So he got into the guy's car, threw it in reverse, and got it backed in on the first try. True story.

4. Doing the friendly wave to every boat you pass.

Similar to the "jeep wave," almost everyone waves to other boats passing by. It's just what you do, and is seen as a normal thing by everyone.

5. The cooler is always packed, mostly with beer.

Alcohol seems to be a big part of the lake experience, but other drinks are squeezed into the room remaining in the cooler for the kids, not to mention the wide assortment of chips and other foods in the snack bag.

6. Giving the idiot who goes 30 in a "No Wake

Zone" a piece of your mind.

There's nothing worse than floating in the water, all settled in and minding your business, when some idiot barrels through. Now your anchor is loose, and you're left jostled by the waves when it was nice and perfectly still before. This annoyance is typically answered by someone yelling some choice words to them that are probably accompanied by a middle finger in the air.

7. You have no problem with peeing in the water.

It's the lake, and some social expectations are a little different here, if not lowered quite a bit. When you have to go, you just go, and it's no big deal to anyone because they do it too.

8. You know the frustration of getting your anchor stuck.

The number of anchors you go through as a boat owner is likely a number that can be counted on two hands. Every once in a while, it gets stuck on something on the bottom of the lake, and the only way to fix the problem is to cut the rope, and you have to replace it.

9. Watching in awe at the bigger, better boats that pass by.

If you're the typical lake-goer, you likely might have an average sized boat that you're perfectly happy with. However, that doesn't mean you don't stop and stare at the fast boats that loudly speed by, or at the obnoxiously huge yachts that pass.

10. Knowing any swimsuit that you own with white in it is best left for the pool or the ocean.

You've learned this the hard way, coming back from a day in the water and seeing the flowers on your bathing suit that were once white, are now a nice brownish hue.

11. The momentary fear for your life as you get launched from the tube.

If the driver knows how to give you a good ride, or just wants to specifically throw you off, you know you're done when you're speeding up and heading straight for a big wave. Suddenly you're airborne, knowing you're about to completely wipe out, and you eat pure wake. Then you get back on and do it all again.

12. You're able to go to the restaurants by the water wearing minimal clothing.

One of the many nice things about the life at the lake is that everybody cares about everything a little less. Rolling up to the place wearing only your swimsuit, a cover-up and flip flops, you fit right in. After a long day when you're sunburned, a little buzzed, and hungry, you're served without any hesitation.

13. Having unexpected problems with your boat.

Every once in a while you're hit with technical difficulties, no matter what type of watercraft you have. This is one of the most annoying setbacks when you're looking forward to just having a carefree day on the water, but it's bound to happen. This is just one of the joys that come along with being a boat owner.

14. Having a name for your boat unique to you and your life.

One of the many interesting things that make up the lake culture is the fact that many people name their boats. They can range from basic to funny, but they are unique to each and every owner, and often have interesting and clever meanings behind them.

15. There's no better place you'd rather be in the summer.

Summer is your all-time favorite season, mostly because it's spent at the lake. Whether you're floating in the cool water under the sun, or taking a boat ride as the sun sets, you don't have a care in the world at that moment. The people that don't understand have probably never experienced it, but it's what keeps you coming back every year.


Cover Image Credit: Haley Harvey

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10 Annoying Things That Always Happen In The Summer

Everyone is looking for a way to escape the heat.

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At first, it was too cold (because of global warming (yes, it's real!)), but now it's way too hot. Summer break is fun because it includes fun at the beach, hanging out with friends, and ice-cream, but it also brings along some cons.

1. Power outages happen at least once every week

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When everyone is using their air conditioner at the same time, it ain’t pretty. Power outages entail going back to medieval times with candles and NO AC.

2. Snapchat is filled with stickers showing the temperature

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Please stop posting about the temperature on Snapchat. We get it!! It’s hot!

3. Having to change twice in one day because you outsweated your first outfit

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I don’t know if this is TMI, but body sweat is a big no-no.

4. Getting into your car after it’s been sitting in the sun for a good hour

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If you own a car with black seats, you'll probably need aloe for all those burns on your back thighs.

5. Seeing your utilities bill at the end of month

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Ah, the pitfalls of instant gratification. Air conditioner, you are good but too expensive.

6. The weather is ALWAYS one of the topics of conversation

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Let’s stop this small talk about the weather. Yes, it’s hot, but talking about it won’t change anything!

7. Going to the beach results in sand EVERYWHERE

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Going to the beach is a double-edged sword. You get to play in the sun and have fun, but sand goes EVERYWHERE!!

8. Tan lines are no joke...sock tans, shorts tans, farmers tans, sandals tans

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Tan lines are literally the worst. Currently combating a Birkenstocks tan right now..

9. Insects are literally everywhere

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This is me if any bug comes near me. I know God created these bugs, but please just stay away from me!!

10. The smell of sunscreen hits you like a truck at the beach (or anywhere, for that matter)

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Don’t forget to apply your sunscreen, but remember to spray your sunscreen AWAY from other people. It’s not fun (nor safe) to inhale all that spray on sunscreen.

Summer break is fun and all, but is it really? Is it worth all the sweat, sand, tan lines, and insects?

Cover Image Credit:

https://unsplash.com/photos/_tj8czMkd7Y

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