I am very conflicted on writing this article because I don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings. If I didn’t hurt anyone’s feelings and caused conflict am I really a writer? It’s been a month since my grandmother has died, and two weeks since the funeral. I need to get some things off my chest. There are some things that people are tired of hearing when they’re grieving. I know I’m freaking tired of hearing these things, and I know people can relate.

1. At least you got to say goodbye

Yeah, I did but those last couple of days of silence and bible verses tore my heart right out of my chest. She was long gone before her body was and I said goodbye every single day for the last week because who knew if she would make it through the night. Saying goodbye didn’t exactly make it any easier than some people think it did.

2. She’s in a better place

Yes, I totally agree with you. She’s out of pain and the cancer isn’t eating away at her in Heaven. She is finally with the maker who she constantly talked about in church and in her home. Really, she talked about him everywhere. Yes, I agree with you on that one. Yet I still cry looking at pictures and miss her constantly.

3. She will always be with you

Yes, you’re not wrong… but gosh I’m tired of hearing people say that. I know she will always be with me physically and through my tattoo. She’ll be with me through my times of trial and the good times. Yet I wish she was physically here to watch me graduate college, watch my baby cousin’s graduate high school, and have her help me get ready for my wedding day.

4. I am so sorry for your loss

I know you people have nothing else to really say to the grieving family, but three weeks of that, and then the whole weekend of the funeral and visiting hours. I wish someone could get creative and say all the right things we need to hear. My boyfriend has been pretty darn close to the right things, and close family.

My mom probably says this twice a week, “People grieve in their own ways.” I have learned mine is through writing, and with watching as many musicals as possible. My Mimi loved reading my essays, and my articles for the last couple of months. My Mimi especially loved her musicals—especially the classics with Gene Kelly, and Fred Astaire.

Grieving takes time and rerouting your life without the person you called twice a day, would hug almost every day, and giggle and gossip with will take time. I know that. Everyone asks how I’m doing constantly, and I will always reply: “It sucks.”