In one of my classes this past semester, we were reading a book that featured, among other things, a society that operated upon principles of gift-giving.

What that meant is that people gave things to other people if they needed them.

However, in our discussion of the ramifications of living in such an economy, we ended up having an in-depth discussion about gift-giving as it operates in our current capitalistic society because the gift-giving in the book was a little different than gift-giving is in our world.

And, as Christmas was (is) nearing as we read the book, it seemed a pertinent discussion to have. In any case, we agreed that gift-giving is a loaded and stressful practice—for a number of reasons.

1. Pressure

Christmas appears to be so ingrained in our capitalistic culture that when that time rolls around, it is as if you are expected/obligated to get a gift for the people that you care about. And if someone gets YOU a gift, the pressure intensifies, not only because you are definitely expected to get them something in return, but because…

2. Gift quality equality

Nothing is more painfully awkward that when one person gives someone a gift and the other person reciprocates with a gift that is waaaay better (or worse). It may sound shallow to even admit, but it’s undeniably true.

3. It places a monetary value on love

Kind of like the last point, gift-giving is a tricky minefield because on a basic level, gift-giving is a demonstration that you care for someone (theoretically, anyway—especially in a materialistic society such as ours), which basically translates into “the more money I am willing to spend on you=the more I care about you.”

4. It’s a test of how well you know a person

Getting the right gift and successfully surprising someone with it means that you know them well enough to find the right thing.Don’t get me wrong though, I am not trying to be a total Grinch here (though, me feeling the need to include this disclaimer only underscores my point that gift-giving is expected in our society). I am capable of enjoying the ritual of gift-giving, and I like to do it for those that I care about. It’s just that the discussion we had in class seemed pertinent, and it raised good points.