35 Thoughts Every Girl Has While Online Shopping

35 Thoughts Every Girl Has While Online Shopping

You know the addiction is real when you won't check your bank statement.

Anyone ever start their homework and magically end up on Amazon buying a memory foam bean bag? Please say yes or I'll be slightly embarrassed (mostly offended because the bean bag is magical!)

Online shopping is a whole different ball game than shopping at the outlets or mall. It involves precision, and knowing every discount code to type in to get free shipping (cause we're lazy and would rather buy it online than head to the store.) While it has it's disadvantages with having to know your exact measurements for every inch of your body, it's like having and endless birthday when checking the mail. I receive items I completely forgot I bought constantly! Whatever the case may be, we all spend some of our free time online shopping and buying items we'll most likely never even use.

Here are some thoughts you may experience while browsing those bean bag chairs I know you're looking at now:

1. *Studying* Oh I have that concert coming up, let me find something to wear.

2. I shouldn't have started this.

3. Look at all the clothes I could get!

4. Key word "could," I'm broke.

5. Okay we'll be wise about this.

6. I've got some spending money, I can buy 4 items and be good.

7. I need a new black tank after mine ripped last night.

8. Tanks are $5...

9. Well, I guess getting every color won't hurt.

10. Look! I'm only at $25.11. Now shorts.

12. Oh these would be perfect for the festival!

13. Okay, let me just get my size.

14. *Out of stock* or NOT.

15. How could they be so cruel to me.

16. Making me fall in love with items I'll never be able to get, and no I'm not getting on a wait list for it.

17. Okay, let me check out the sale items now.

18. I probably should've started with those but that's okay.

19. NO WAY! They have those sandals I've been dying for ON SALE!!

20. This is fate! I was supposed to be shopping today.

21. *Adds to cart* $40.23 now?

22. I could probably get one more thing and make it $50.

23. Let's check bathing suits since summer is approaching.

24. JK, my summer bod is no where to be found.

25. Maybe a one piece will cover my tummy.

26. It'll look like I'm trendy too since everyone has one now.

27. I don't need this cover up but it popped up and it goes perfect with the one piece!

28. FOCUS. $75 in, when did that happen!?

29. Why am I like this?

30. Okay, check out now. Don't turn back.

31. I guess I could get rid of the red and yellow tank top. I don't own these colors for a reason.

32. My credit card is already on here? I have a problem.

33. BUT LOOK! There's another SALE!!!

34. I'll look only. Just. LOOK.

35. Well, I can survive without eating this week...

Cover Image Credit: Heimdal Security

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Re-evaluating Your Decisions

It's time to take a step back and reflect on what matters

For a few months, I have been absent from writing on the Odyssey but have finally decided to end my hiatus. This past semester has thrown a lot of curve balls my way and I have changed my mind more than I ever have before. I usually describe myself as a "safety net" type of person. If my life does not have structure, I tend to shut down. Many difficult choices came my way and I had to choose what was worth sacrificing. This forced me to reflect the fact that life is unexpected and sometimes it is okay to take a pause to assess your situation. I felt as though I was loosing who I was as a person. Things that used to make me happy started to stress me out. Yet, time heals all wounds and I surely, but slowly am grounding myself again.

One valuable lesson I have learned during this chaotic journey is to take the days as they come. Of course it helps to plan ahead, but we cannot always be certain that there is a future. Additionally, never take your talents for granted. Even when your self worth is diminished, stay hopeful that the best is yet to come.

When all hell breaks loose, emerge yourself in hobbies you are passionate about and spend time with positive people. All of these things can take your gray days and make them shine brighter. Just repeat to yourself that everything happens for a reason. Sometimes our seemingly small plans fall into a greater scheme. No matter how wonky life gets, even so crazy it feels like a bad joke: Keep. Pushing. Forward. You are not a quitter, you are a fighter. Ultimately, you will learn what true strength is. It resides in each and every one of us, without a doubt.

So thank you to my friends and family that always believed and had faith in both me and my abilities. Thank you to theatre for giving me a stage to break away and be someone else for a change. Thank you to sunsets for allowing me a blank canvas each day. Lastly, thank you Odyssey for giving me an outlet to express my grief and hardships. Without this darkness that occur, I would have never been able to see the brightness all around me. I am getting back on track with my life and am more determined than ever to be superior. Also, I am done holding back and staying quite when I was meant to be bold. I am worth expressing myself and no part of me is worth staying a secret.

"It's being here now that's important. There's no past and there's no future. Time is a very misleading thing. All there is ever, is the now. We can gain experience from the past, but we can't relive it; and we can hope for the future but we don't know if there is one." -George Harrison

Cover Image Credit: Kian Krashesky

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So It Goes.

Therapy, 2018 and my first EMDR experience

So it goes. Here is the first post of the new year and a million and a half ideas come floating to the surface. What do I write about to set this year off on the right foot? Perhaps I should start with the biggest change and improvement I've already initiated in 2018; going to weekly therapy, or maybe I'll discuss the hundreds of short-comings I'm already battling, the intense urge to move, the conflict of finding myself vs being with others, the desire to be more open and loving, the anger I suppress when things become too frustrating. I guess we'll start with square one; therapy.

Therapy, according to Webster, is the treatment, especially of a bodily, mental, or behavioral disorder. Well, I guess I'm in therapy...again. This time hopefully for good. Something tells me I should refrain from releasing my therapist's name or any specific details but I think this should be an open note...about...therapy.

I am moving towards a treatment known as Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing or EMDR for short. It is a terrifying but liberating process of having a professional recite a troubling memory to you; stating the event, the feeling you associate with it, where you feel it and how you reacted as you sit with eyes closed but moving left to right. Let's just say I've had my first taste of it during my last session and it was...intense.

I mentioned it in a previous post, the idea of Samskaras, blockages that we hold onto and that can keep us from feeling current energy and emotion in our day-to-day life. It seems that EMDR is the practice of finding and breaking down these Samskaras. It is terrifying. It will leave you exhausted and teary-eyed but it is necessary if you want to live without feeling bound to the past. I found the idea of scanning and evalutating these experiences very interesting and appealing although, I also see them as very intimidating. Regardless of where you are, I can say that it seems the past is not always something you can just "let go" of.

So, I think for my first post I would like to share the memory I chose for my first EMDR experience:

You are in Helen, Georgia celebrating your fourteenth birthday. You are gaining weight from your lowest point of 96 lbs. You don't know why this is happening. You are breaking down. You feel; scared, disgusted, despaired, angry and betrayed. You think; "I can't let this happen, I am out of control, my body hates me." You feel it in your face, thighs, and stomach.

Then the therapist asks, "what is the intensity?"

Under sobs, you answer...."at least a nine."

Cover Image Credit: Pexels.com

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