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33 Ways You Could Better Spend Your College Tuition

A four-year degree is overrated anyway.

Austin Goodwin

Aug 29, 2017

Tuscaloosa, AL The University of Alabama

33 Ways You Could Better Spend Your College Tuition

Paramount Pictures

As college students, we all wonder from time to time why we are paying so much money for a piece of paper. Many of us feel as though we aren't getting our money's worth, and thus are not happy in college. So, I have compiled a list of 33 ways your $100,000 tuition could be spent much better.

1. Season tickets in the skybox for Bryant-Denny stadium

2. Puppies for every sad college student on campus

3. Thousands of Subway sandwiches for the most ridiculous Subway commercial ever

4. 10,000 ten-dollar strippers

5. One $100,000 stripper

6. A nice house in the countryside with a white picket fence

7. A small cozy beachhouse

8. Around 4,000 thirty-racks of beer for the most ridiculous party ever

9. The Shelby GT350R

10. A date with Kate Upton

11. Long-term stock investment

12. The opportunity for real job experience which is actually going to get me further in life than a $100,000 piece of paper

13. Rent a private jet once or twice

14. Purchase bodybuilding supplements for life

15. Get a meet and greet with Eminem, or any worthwhile music artist

16. Buy roughly 87,374 Chick-Fil-A milkshakes for random strangers

17. Use it to stack penny stocks while flipping these birds

18. Convert it to 10,000,000 pennies in a swimming pool, then push all of my worst enemies off of a diving board 30 feet high into that swimming pool

19. 1,000 hours of psychiatry to help me deal with the fact that college costs so much

20. A king size tub big enough for ten plus me

21. Have a zipline between city skyscrapers

22. A year's worth of traveling to all of the exotic cities in the world

23. Ten year's of eating a steakhouse quality steak every day

24. Kobe Bryant's two championship rings he bought for his parents that were sold at an auction

25. Pay 1/190,000,000th of the U.S. National Debt

Check out the U.S. National Debt Clock here

26. This legal tender $100,000 bill from 1934

27. 50,000 Powerball tickets

28. Open a coffee shop, smoothie bar or other cash cow

29. Invest in my parents' early retirement

30. Land a guaranteed lifetime job and bathe in my cash

31. Give it all to charity

32. Obtain M4's, shotguns, hunting rifles and necessary supplies for a zombie apocalypse

33. A year's worth of security guard services so I can antagonize jerks in bars

Stay in college, kids.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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33 Ways You Could Better Spend Your College Tuition

A four-year degree is overrated anyway.

1. Season tickets in the skybox for Bryant-Denny stadium

2. Puppies for every sad college student on campus

3. Thousands of Subway sandwiches for the most ridiculous Subway commercial ever

4. 10,000 ten-dollar strippers

5. One $100,000 stripper

6. A nice house in the countryside with a white picket fence

7. A small cozy beachhouse

8. Around 4,000 thirty-racks of beer for the most ridiculous party ever

9. The Shelby GT350R

10. A date with Kate Upton

11. Long-term stock investment

12. The opportunity for real job experience which is actually going to get me further in life than a $100,000 piece of paper

13. Rent a private jet once or twice

14. Purchase bodybuilding supplements for life

15. Get a meet and greet with Eminem, or any worthwhile music artist

16. Buy roughly 87,374 Chick-Fil-A milkshakes for random strangers

17. Use it to stack penny stocks while flipping these birds

18. Convert it to 10,000,000 pennies in a swimming pool, then push all of my worst enemies off of a diving board 30 feet high into that swimming pool

19. 1,000 hours of psychiatry to help me deal with the fact that college costs so much

20. A king size tub big enough for ten plus me

21. Have a zipline between city skyscrapers

22. A year's worth of traveling to all of the exotic cities in the world

23. Ten year's of eating a steakhouse quality steak every day

24. Kobe Bryant's two championship rings he bought for his parents that were sold at an auction

25. Pay 1/190,000,000th of the U.S. National Debt

26. This legal tender $100,000 bill from 1934

27. 50,000 Powerball tickets

28. Open a coffee shop, smoothie bar or other cash cow

29. Invest in my parents' early retirement

30. Land a guaranteed lifetime job and bathe in my cash

31. Give it all to charity

32. Obtain M4's, shotguns, hunting rifles and necessary supplies for a zombie apocalypse

33. A year's worth of security guard services so I can antagonize jerks in bars

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Obviously the best superpower.

There have been many lessons learned.

1. The importance of traditions.

2. How to be thankful for family and friends.

3. How to give back.

4. What the word "community" really means.

5. That it isn't about the destination, but the journey.

6. The consequences of making bad choices.

7. To trust people, until you have a reason not to.

8. To be welcoming and accepting of everyone.

9. How to be my own, individual person.

10. How to work for what I want.

11. How to be great at giving directions.

12. How to be humble.

13. To be well-rounded.

14. How to be great at conflict resolution.

15. The beauty of getting outside and exploring.

16. To be prepared for anything.

17. That you don't always have to do it alone.

18. How to be creative.

19. To brush off gossip.

I have never been so thankful to know you.

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

Don't freak out

Email the professor

Attend the first class

Keep attending class

Have a backup plan

Remember that everything works out at the end

It's mandatory to have these conversations.

1. What do you do for a living?

2. What's your favorite color?

3. Do you have any siblings?

4. What's your favorite television show?

5. When is your birthday?

6. What's your biggest goal in life?

7. If you had three wishes granted to you by a genie, what would they be?

8. What's your favorite childhood memory?

9. If you could change one thing about your life, what would it be?

10. Are you a cat or a dog person?

11. Do you believe in a religion or any sort of spiritual power?

12. If you could travel anywhere in the world, where would it be?

13. What is your ideal date night?

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