Despite all the mishaps, heartaches, and disappointments of 2016, each year we create new resolutions that we promise we will maintain throughout the New Year. Normally, people abide by their “unrealistic” resolutions for no more than two weeks. Then they are upset with themselves because they failed to keep their personal promises.This forgetful cycle continues throughout each new year because we are comfortable with what is “normal” and “easy”. We are scared to try new things and live a different life that we are not “used” to, wanting something new is easier said than done.

We feign for progression and a better life but when change is right in front of us we grow shy, skeptical, and hesitant. The fear that we allow to control our lives is a silent killer because we are accustomed to taking the easy way out instead of facing our own challenges. At times we can be our own worst enemy because we continuously live our lives the way we claimed we did not want to anymore, then we blame other people for our lack of commitment. Our first instinct is to make ourselves the victim and believe our own lies in order to make ourselves feel better about not being able to conquer fear. This self-pity that we develop is toxic and disrespectful because it reveals that we do not see the hope in ourselves. We refrain from seeing matters how they actually are and continue to “baby” ourselves.

Instead of revealing your goals to people for the new year, write them down in a journal or on post-it notes and place them around your room. In addition to your goals, you can also include motivational quotes and/or chants to read daily. Implementing this routine into your life will give you daily assurance as to what you need to do to step up to the plate.

Whatever your new year resolutions may be they all have one thing in common, which is personal progression. In order to actually see this “new you” you’ve been stressing over you need to follow these three steps.

1. Don’t Take Anything Personally
2. Don’t Make Assumptions
3. Move in silence

Our word is one of the most powerful yet dangerous things in our society. Words can make or break anyone regardless of their intent. When someone expresses anger or hate towards you refrain from questioning yourself and start to question them because they are the ones dealing with that anger and hate that they expressed upon you. Their words are never for you but instead a cry out for help.

One of the biggest problems that we have in our society is assuming. I cannot count how many times I’ve been tied up in a situation that could have been avoided if I did not assume. Instead of assuming what people think, what their intentions are, or why they act the way they do, just simply ask. Once we start to assume we create several scenarios that we actually believe are true. We would rather play storyteller instead of receiving the truth from the source.

These days you can never tell when someone is rooting for you or secretly trying to break you. People have mastered this concept of showing fake love in order to get what they need out of you. Instead of allowing someone to get the upper-hand on you keep things to yourself. There is nothing wrong with sharing your accomplishments or goals but keep in mind that not everyone is a fan of yours.

These steps are not easy to live by but they are doable. With the first month of the new year coming to an end, I can honestly say that I have improved each week by sticking to these three steps. It has been a challenge for me to accept these changes but I have continued to commit to them. Progression takes time and I am willing to wait.