So last Wednesday was the last appointment at CASC before winter break. My counselor and I have spoken about many things in the brief times we've been meeting this semester. One of the last things we talked about was my frustrations over communication style. The backlash from being direct is always negative. It makes me feel as though I cannot speak up for myself when I feel like I'm being used.
So my counselor decided I needed to set some goals for myself over the break in order to feel like I have a say in my life.
1. Contact someone I haven't talked to in a while and catch up with them
I've been telling my counselor that some of the people in my life have proved to me over time that they were different than others I've met. They didn't come off as shallow or self-centered. They accepted me just as I am and their energy flowed into me when around them. They are happy with themselves, their lives and within their own bodies. Whenever I am around one of them I always feel uplifted. My counselor suggested I reach out to at least one of these friends and catch up. If they don't answer or they are too busy, I can leave a message.
2. Go ice skating
Every winter I always say I'm going to try to ice skate. I want to be as active as I can be in the winter as I am in the summer. I'm a winter baby after all, and it's way past time to explore all the great things available for me to do during my favorite season. However, I always talk myself out of going: "I'm too fat," or "It's too cold," or "No one else likes snow but me." So she suggested that I ignore these doubts and finally do it. If it turns out to be too much for me, the least I can do is watch everyone skate.
3. Finish unpacking
I recently moved and I have yet to finish unpacking. I have 3 bookshelves to clean and restock. Canned foods, cleaning supplies and kitchen utensils to put away and pictures to rehang. I keep putting off doing this simply out of laziness. There are always other things I want to do once I'm home that finishing unpacking is the last thing I want to do. My counselor suggested that this one is good for giving myself a concrete goal. Like, "By new years I want to be completely unpacked."' If I start with excuses for not getting it done, I can always just put away five to ten items every evening or an hour or two at the end of every week.
Winter break is only about 3 weeks, so I think I can at least attempt each of these goals. The closer I get to finishing these tasks, the closer I get to successfully managing my downtime. These will also help me put a little bit of order and control back into my life.
Wish me luck!