We have all been there. Scrapping our lives back together after much confusion, questionable feelings, and the ultimate earth-shattering sadness of a heartbreak. Far too many girls have had their lives turned upside down because no one teaches you how to start relationships. We need some kind of recipe, instructional manual, guidelines, or at least a base-line protocol to save us from this relentless cycle of turmoil.

Enough is enough! The numbers of exquisite young women who have reported having their hearts desolated from simply attempting to get a glance at true love, is, off the charts, staggering. After conducting extensive research and over two decades of experience, I hope I can help you save from a future heartbreak with just three somewhat simple steps.

Before we dive in, let me set the scene for you because the only way you will be able to follow these three steps is if you can relate or apply them to your life. This is college so we have all been tragically thrown into lecture classes where there are hundreds of people, and you know, maybe, about two and a half of those people. Even though you know some people you are perpetually late to class because you wake up exactly thirteen minutes before said class every day because you are who you are.

As you get in the rhythm of getting stuck in the back of the class day after day you begin to notice the other people that do too, especially the cute guy that always runs right before class and somehow invariably still looks like he dropped straight from heaven with his angelic looks.

I mean this guy is mind-boggling attractive. His stunning beauty even motivates you to get up a little earlier in the morning.This motivation isn't to get to class earlier because that would completely throw off the unspeakable rhythm you both have of being late. Plus at this point, the two of you have unassigned assigned seats next to each other in the last two seats in the back, next to the door.

The incentive you get to wake up a bit earlier is so you can actually run a comb through your hair and put on something other than the same pair of leggings you wear that has a whole on your butt that you pray people don't actually notice.

By the time all of this has evolved it is around the third or fourth week of class. You are about to take the first exam of the class. In your heart, you know time is of the essence so you should study for it with this dapper young man because even if you fail the exam, you will have gotten to spend some time with him. By calling in favors with whole two and a half people you know in the class, you approach this lovely gem of a guy and tell him that you are in a study group or something and he is welcome to join.

Of course, there was not a study group before the words came out of your mouth, but it doesn't matter because he says yes and gives you his number.

Before we go any further, I must warn you that this is where things start to get sensitive. Up until this point, your feelings have been manageable. This is where you mustprepare yourself. We all know what is coming. The very second that you hang out with this guy for the first time is when you beginning to tread on ice that will only get thinner and thinner. If you are not extremely careful, you will undoubtedly fall through the ice into the frigid void that is a heartbreak. So let us continue...

Before anything happens between you and this guy, you remember that you are a strong independent woman with free will. You do not lack self-control, there is nothing wrong with you, and you deserve the world. But so the exam happens and you do whatever it is you do best. Then as an added bonus, you keep hanging out this unbelievably beautiful guy. One thing leads to another and you hook up with this guy.

Here is where we pause the story because HERE is where you break whatever cycle you have been following your whole life.

The three steps you have so desperately been waiting for, START NOW. In order for these steps to work, you must apply them as soon as you hook up with someone for the first time.

Once again for *EMPHASIS*... Step One goes IMMEDIATELY after Hookup One.

Now that we have a very strong understanding between us here are the steps:

1. Reflect on the hookup.

You might not want to, but this is a crucial step. Afterall, there are only three steps so respect each one.

Questions to ask yourself: Was it good/enjoyable? Did you feel respected? Do you want to do it again?

Assuming you answered all of these questions with a positive and healthy response, it is probably safe to say that you will continue on.

2. Discuss what is happening.

It is absolutely not necessary to do this directly after Step One, but it will loom in your future. After hooking up three times, (especially if all three occur within the same month) you have to admit that something is happening. If you ignore what you are doing or shrugged it off, it will come back to haunt you in the form of wrecked heart.

This might seem stupid but make sure both of you are able to openly admit that you all are hooking up because if someone can't, that is a red flag.

Additionally, it really does not hurt to make sure both of you are enjoying yourselves and want to keep on keeping on.

This step might seem frightening and avoidable, but you cannot accomplish the third step and ultimately avoid a heartbreak without discussing what is happening.

3. Establish rules for BOTH of you.

Believe it or not, the second you meet someone you have a relationship with them. Not every relationship between a guy and a girl has to be simply either dating or not dating. At the same time, every relationship has boundaries. Even our best friends have probably crossed a line at some point that made you feel less than okay. It is possibly more essential to set boundaries with someone if you are not dating them.

Questions to push through: Friends with benefits or open relationship? Labels-yes or no? Meeting friends/roommates?

There is a very high chance that this step will have a lot of awkwardness, but if you know what to expect, you can protect your heart a little bit longer. Another helpful thing is to keep in mind that the boundaries that you and another person make can change over time so do not feel confined by them.