Growing up with two sisters was the biggest blessing. And then having a brother added to the mix made for the perfect equation. There isn’t a day that goes by where I don’t think about how perfect each of my siblings are. Have we always gotten along? Absolutely not. Do we still have tiffs? Heck yes. Would I trade them for a bazillion and one dollar? Never.
I've heard horror stories of families and siblings. Don't get me wrong, I can contest to hardships, especially during the teenage years. Relationships are challenging whether it’s with a family member or significant other. Everything isn’t picture worthy, but it takes dedication to walk through the muck and end up in a field of sunflowers.
One thing that I have learned about having siblings is there is nothing greater than watching one fall in love, get married, and be blessed with the opportunity to carry a child. Knowing that a child is going to have my sister as a mother and my brother-in-law as a father, is the sweetest gift ever. And an aunt like me is a bonus.
Being a secondhand witness to pregnancy has taught me much more than I would’ve ever thought.
1. Pregnancy and the childbirth video every high schooler has to watch, are two very different things.
Everyone says that having a child is such a beautiful experience. Well, my high school self who had to watch the child bearing video would differ. That video was enough to convince me that kids would never be in the picture for me. And when every adult told me that if I got pregnant then I would die, I sure believed it after watching that horrifying video. Now that I know I won’t die if I bear a child, I don’t have the same opinion on pregnancy that I did in high school. To see and feel a baby kicking inside their mother’s belly is worth so much more than pregnancy and labor complications.
2. It’s okay to want/not want kids.
In a world where strong opinions are praised, people are very public about their independence. There are a lot of people who don’t want marriage, kids, or anything to get in the way of their dreams. There are also people who look at marriage and kids as a dream. I’ve learned that it’s important to understand each side of the spectrum. Not wanting marriage or children doesn't mean you failed. And wanting marriage and kids doesn't mean you're tied down or trapped.
3. Lastly and most importantly.
Stop asking couples when they’re going to have children.
Immediately after marriage, people start questioning when a baby will be added to the picture. To be frank, it’s not your business. Nor is it mine even as a sibling. It’s a personal decision to have children and even if you desire to have children, the path isn’t always easy. Couples who deal with infertility issues are hoping you will hold your tongue because that topic is usually an open wound.
I believe the most amazing part of having a pregnant sister, is knowing how loved that little baby is. It already has hundreds of people cheering it on and it's not even out of the womb yet.