Looking back, I think that I have always kind of struggled with myself. I could always pick out something that I didn't like about myself or something that I wanted to change.

For as long as I can remember, I've struggled with my weight. I thought to be pretty you had to be a size 0. I thought pretty girls must have the best life because they never worried how they looked in anything. At a size 0, what could you possibly look bad in?

As a teenager, this was my thought process. It made me envious and drained my confidence. Now as I enter my twenties, I am trying SO hard to remember that I need to learn to love myself. I still struggle everyday. Sometimes I feel great, and then sometimes I have days I think I look like a muppet. And not a cute one, either. But even on those days, especially those days, that I am worthy.

I am loved. I need to be my own friend.

I remember once I was asked, "Would you be friends with someone who talked to you the way you talk to yourself?"

My answer was no. Why would I be friends with someone so negative? I struggled all through high school. I decided I don't want to struggle in my college years.

It's not just about body positivity. It's about growth, spiritually and emotionally. I am so thankful to have the support of family, friends, and my S.O. Learning to love the little things about myself isn't easy. I have to actively look for the positives when all I see are the negatives. It's learning to love that I am a size 19, or that I wear a larger shirt size than last year. It's learning to love the process of becoming me; whether that's in a size 2 or 22.

It's about being the best me I can be! I've been embarrassed by my pant size for too long. I want to love myself, and this is the first step in becoming my own best friend. Here are some things I am learning to love about myself. Some things seem so small, but they're all a part of me. And I am so proud to be me!

I am learning to love.....

1.My hair at 4 am. It's not always pretty.

2. I’m not athletic.

3. I’m afraid of a lot of things.

4. I like cold showers, is that weird?

5. My tummy that jiggles when I sit.

6. How my hair doesn’t always look good straight, even when it’s naturally straight.

7. Going to bed at 9 p.m. when I know my friends are out until morning.

8. I'm learning to believe my boyfriend when he says I look beautiful.

9. Loving my nails when I can’t afford to paint them.

10. Loving the pride I feel when I can’t afford much, but I showed up at work and paid my bills.

11. Loving my height even though I can’t see what’s on the top shelf.

12. Loving the chaos I can’t control.

13. Loving my anxiety, because it is me. It challenges me every day. because I can fill out my jeans and look and feel good, even when I don’t feel like it.

15. My face without makeup.

16. My depression, it gives me a reason to look for the better things in life. Like when my S.O. is laughing and his nose crinkles because he’s so happy.

17. My mistakes, they made me who I am.

18. My past.

19. My future.

20. That I am not my GPA.

21. The way I write my letters differently, sometimes in cursive and sometimes it goes back into print. No two letters look the same.

22.The way I over highlight my notes in class.

23. The way I procrastinate and then worry about procrastinating.

24. The way I stay up too late but hate mornings.

25. Failure.

I’m learning to find the love in finding what sets my soul on fire and pushes me to be the best that I can be. I’m learning to love me, and all the things that come with it. Thank you to those who are loving me when I am learning to love myself all over again.