Other than Jesus, coffee is the only thing that gets me through the day. Without coffee, my production level would be -74%. There is nothing better than stumbling downstairs in my pajama pants and messy hair to that glorious Keurig machine that delivers my liquid motivation.

Here are 22 thing I would rather do than give up my beloved coffee:

1. Forget to wear pants to school. (Which might happen if I don't have coffee)

2. Take a calculus test every single day for the rest of my life.

3. Receive a call from a telemarketer once every hour.

4. Be stuck in public in a rainstorm without a jacket in a white jumpsuit.

5. Never eat cake again.

6. Stay in college for the rest of my life.

7. Relive my worst day over and over again.

8. Step on a thumbtack.

9. Lock my keys in my car every day.

10. Stand in line at the DMV.

11. Work at the DMV.

12. Clean the floors with a toothbrush.

13. Listen to over-privileged kids talk about how hard their life is.

14. Give a cat a bath.

15. Grocery shop every single day.

16. Never be able to read my favorite book again.

17. Have my TV set to only play commercials.

18. Give a presentation and forget how to talk.

19. Have to wear the most uncomfortable pair of shoes for the rest of my life.

20. Never eat a home cooked meal again.

21. Eat McDonald's for the rest of my life.

22. Never be able to read another Odyssey article again.

As you can tell, coffee is my life-line. I mean come on, I'd give up reading The Odyssey for coffee and that's a BIG deal. And you'd be lying if you said you wouldn't do some pretty crazy things in order to keep coffee in your life. So go pour yourself a cup and enjoy that cup of miracles from up above.