We have all seen the clip from Divorce Court, 20's is for you, where Judge Lynn tells the lady in front of her that her 20's are her selfish years. That 20 is her years of growth. Well, she's right.
Although Judge Lynn comments specifically to a woman going through a divorce with a man, her words can resonate with anyone. When I was younger I thought that life was slow as hell. I actually remember a conversation I had with a friend who was in High School at the time as I was in Middle School, who said he felt angry when people would say that life is slow. Now I see why he felt that way. Life is so fast that you need to dedicate as much as you can to things that benefit you.
Life is too fast for you to worry about partners at such a young age or to worry about unhealthy relationships in your life with partners, friends, and family. Life is too short to be working the same job that makes you so unhappy for the rest of your life. Too short for you to stay in the same town all your life with no future. Life is too short for you to settle in places and with people who are no good for you and do nothing but bring out your ugly side. Life is too short for you to develop a mental illness for an education and a decent job. Life is just so fucking short that your 20's need to be for you. You don't need to be making compromises that sacrifice your happiness and well-being. You don't need to be in places or with people who do nothing for you. You don't need to be around a group of girls gossiping about shit that doesn't matter.
When I turned 20, I felt nothing. I didn't understand what came with 20 but my anxiety did once I turned 21. In the next 9 years, I might meet someone that I will marry and have children with. I am graduating and moving across the world and within the next 9 years, I will decide what I will do with that experience. In the next 9 years, I will be settled in a place that I hope doesn't bring stress and regret. In the next 9 years, I will have had changed careers and continued my education. Now that I am 21, I feel it. In one year I stopped being friends with people who were toxic and ended a toxic relationship, for both of those things are not worth being a part of these years of my life. I stopped thinking certain ways and holding onto things that are out of my control.
Your 20's should be for you. You to open yourself to things and to people that scare you and once held you back. For you to leave your comfort zone and to embrace uncertainty. Uncertainty. That is what your 20's should be for. For you to be excited and ready for everything you yet know. For you to let go of what leaves you and welcome everything that comes your way. For you to live every day with an open heart and open mind, ready to endure any and every emotion. For you to leave the life your family wants you to live and find one that fits you.
Your 20's is for you to end toxic relationships with a partner, with a friend, and, yes, with a family member. Because you can do that now. This time is for you to figure out what you don't want in life. I have realized that it's okay to not know what you want out of life as long as you know what you don't want. You will start eliminating everything and everyone who brings you down and hinders any kind of real growth. The people who gossip, those who do nothing but go out and drink, those who hold grudges and cannot forgive, those who hold onto to their hardships, and those who stay in the same place. Your 20's isn't for you to remain where you are even if that might hurt others.
This is your time to leave. Leave people, places, mindsets, bad habits, judgments, settling, unforgiving ways, grudges, resentment, and anything and everything that keeps you small. And yes, this will be hard. I am sure a lot of people around this age have become so used to doing things for others, so doing something in this way is considered "selfish". I have seen people hold on to the same burdens for years without the thought of letting go. I have seen people stay in one place for years without any thought of leaving or any real motivation. Don't do those things and learn that it is okay for you to use this time to be selfish will be your start to a happier, healthier life.