Happy New Year everyone! Hope everyone had a lovely holiday season no matter what you celebrate. To the future and many great things to come. I hope it was full of love, family, friends, and warmth. Today I want to talk about the new year and my goals that I am setting for myself. Maybe I'll end up ditching them like every other year and every other person on this planet, but who knows! Perhaps this is the year where things turn around for everyone, or maybe it'll just get worse until 2020! Well I guess time will tell.

No but 2018 was a fantastic year. I graduated high school, met awesome people at college, got an awesome job, have an amazing girlfriend, joined a phenomenal acapella group, and so much more. I literally could not ask for anything else in the world except for one thing: I need more from myself.

Now you're probably thinking, "What the hell is this kid saying right now?" Well, let me explain.

In the beginning of 2018 I went through a lot of shit, and I started to lose focus of my mental health and happiness. I was constantly stressed or down, and not focusing on the great stuff in my life. I wanted to quit my high school musical, I wanted to leave for college and just start new, you know? I wanted to find that thing in my life that made me happy and I could not find it. I felt lost despite there being no reason to feel that way. I wanted this perfect image for my life and I felt broken and worn down, as though I couldn't do anything right. Don't worry, I'm not typing my sob story just hold on.

Despite those feelings, I kept my head held high during my last few months of high school. I needed to focus on myself and be a leader in situations. Make choices for myself and others. Be there for myself and other people that I care about. It was hard, but I did it. I'm here and I am living my best life. Yes there are days where I feel down and worn out, but I tell myself to keep going and stay standing because who knows where life will take me or any of the people in my life. Life is short, and there is no time for holding grudges or the tiny obstacles that bring us down. Yeah I had grudges against people in high school and some people now in college, but what's the point? It takes more energy to ignore people and be rude than it does to just be nice and start a small conversation.

To all the people I left on bad notes on in high school, I wish you the best life and a good new year. I'm going to be brutally honest, I may not go out of my way to be super friendly with you and text you or something, but I'm not going to go out of my way to be rude and inconsiderate. Not everyone you meet in life will be your friend, and you will lose people. That is life and it happens every year. You can't change that. It. Is. Life.

ANYWAYS, back to what I said about "I need more from myself."

What I mean by that is I need to work harder. I can't just give up or feel lazy when things get tough. I can't go to bed late every night and sleep in through my 9 AM every other week. I can't just eat unhealthily and not exercise and be upset with my unhealthy lifestyle because in the end the only person to blame is myself. Not my family, friends, girlfriend, or anyone I have in my life. That is not fair to them, and it makes things harder on myself.

This year I want to eat healthier, exercise, go to bed earlier on weekdays, work harder in school, and stop holding grudges on people. Now I'm not just going to exercise everyday and expect it to work right away. I'm going to take baby steps. I'll exercise once a week or try to eat an apple a day, and do little study sessions and add on slowly over time. Things don't just happen right away, it takes time. I want to work for my future and do what I love. I have all I need in life to be happy whether it is my family, friends, girlfriend, college, or whatever. Now it is about putting in my share.

Make a goal. Face a fear. Explore somewhere new. Try exotic foods. Don't make this another boring year where you post on IG "Leaving all the bullshit in 20(fill in the blank)" because quite frankly no one cares and we see you post that every year on NYE so just try not to do that. This is your time. This is your life. If you're not happy with something or someone, change that. You control your life. So take the steering wheel, and drive yourself where you want to. This is the year where you can make YOUR difference.