2016 and 2017 were not necessarily my best years personally. My depression and anxiety were at its worst, I was going through lots of other mental health issues, I was resorting back to unhealthy habits, and my motivation was steadily decreasing.
I was starting to believe that I would not be able to get my motivation back and that everyone was right. I would never be able to accomplish what I want to accomplish, and I would let my issues get the best of me in the long run. But then I realized that there was only one way to make sure that does not happen: to prove them wrong.
I know, easier said than done, but I know there's a way for me to accomplish what I want to accomplish and show the world that there is a way for me to achieve great things, regardless of my issues.
I know that success is not going to come to me overnight, and knowing that I have a disability, I would have to work twice as hard as my neurotypical counterparts in order to achieve that success. But I do know one thing's for sure: it's not impossible. There were a lot of things that I wish I accomplished in the last year, but I know I have another chance to accomplish those things this coming year.
One of the biggest things that happened to me at the end of this past semester was that I was elected into my first major leadership position, which I will be taking on once the semester starts back up.
People have said to me countless times before that I would be unable to take on any leadership positions because of the massive amounts of work it comes with and the stress it could put me through. Regardless their comments and doubts will motivate me to become the best leader I could possibly be. It has also motivated me to apply for more leadership positions within the next semester.
Many people have also told me that I would never amount to anything or become successful because of my disability. I have already had my start in proving them wrong with my summer internship in the city.
It has helped me get the feel of what it was like to have a job in New York (which is where I dream to work), and gave me a jump start on my career. I met lots of great people along the way and had an overall amazing experience that could help me in the future.
Despite all the things I accomplished in the past two years, it still did not change how terrible my mental health was. Regardless of my accomplishments over this period of time, I was still believing that what everyone said and thought about me was right. I thought I really would not make something out of myself, and that I will end up unsuccessful.
I tried doing lots of new things in the past year, but have failed miserably. I also lost a lot of friendships in the last year alone. This ended up taking a toll on my self-confidence in the long run.
Regardless of what happened in the last two years, I will not let the bad outweigh the good. It will take a lot of effort to achieve what I want to achieve this year, but I am 120% willing to do it. I will not let my mental health or what anyone says get the best of me this year. This year, I will be making a change, and I will be better than I ever was before.