It’s resolution time and while many disdain the motto “new year, new me,” I actually love it! Now, before you all try to crucify me, allow me to explain. Having the consciousness to even desire to change is one thing, and a beautiful thing at that. However, setting your hands to the plow to begin the work is another topic (so, do not take away someone’s desire to change. Even if in reality the work ethic and dedication would suggest that they’re similar to a tortoise… slow and steady wins the race, right?)
So, back to the reasons that I love New Years: It’s the turning of another chapter, it’s the start of something new — *cues "High School Musical"* — it’s a fresh start and call me corny but I love a fresh start and I find nothing cliche about them.
In fact, I honor them! I desperately need them and I plan to utilize them each and every opportunity that I have! Ecstatic, to say the least, I am back on my grind for the next 13 days of the year, and I’m going to be digging in deep, deep, waters to resurface some of my motivation, hope and faith for 2018!
What’s my wish for this upcoming year?
Well, I’m keeping it clean-cut and simple this go round as I’m wishing to be my own reason! In the spirit of transparency, 2016-2017 was HELL for me. I lost so much and I felt incredibly defeated and while some beautiful growth has occurred in my life and accomplishments have been achieved… I wasn’t happy! I wasn’t fulfilled. I wasn’t me!
I was lost in every sense of the word and in many ways, I still feel the remnants of some confusion sometimes. At times, I still feel low. However, as the year is closing I’m discovering the value of valuing yourself. I have entered a close-knit relationship with honoring myself enough to value my joy and pain and as a result, I am becoming my own reason.
What do I mean by that?
Well, since you’ve asked I am simply saying that I am leaning on my own desire to become a better woman, not for the approval of others and the applause of those that are most dear to me, but because I deserve it!
I deserve to be a better woman than I’ve been, I deserve to look back on a year and say “wow, I’ve grown”. I deserve to look at myself and think “YES MA’AM”.
And I’d be remiss to write such about myself and not believe the same for you! You deserve to be your own reason and in my most humble opinion, you absolutely need to be such!
If I could take it a step forward, you HAVE to be your own reason! Recently in a conversation, I was telling someone how miserable I’ve become since beginning my career, and as casual as one could ever drop a profound gem, this person’s response was simple but just what I desperately needed to hear. The response was that I needed to find a hobby outside of my passion, something to bring balance to my life. Now, if you’ve read anything from me, then you know that I work myself ragged week in and week out and personally I’ve paid a high cost for such.
I was FLOORED when I read that text and in all honesty, my sense of pride began to rise, which often occurs when you’re looking at yourself and realizing that what you’ve allowed to become a priority within your life is the same thing that’s destroying you.
I was FLOORED because as a young millennial that spends a lot of time on social media, I pride myself on being transparent and encouraging others to be their best selves. My life motto is “ you should always leave someone better having met you then they were before.” However, being emotionally naked and unashamed I ask, how can you or I leave someone in a better state, when we can’t show up for ourselves?
ANSWER: You can’t and you won’t! I didn’t and I couldn’t!
So for the greater good of humanity and the work that I have diligently given my life to, I am deciding to take care of myself and to prioritize joy first and foremost. I am now putting in the work to find myself outside of my career and ambition. I’m refueling only this time with premium.
Me, myself and I are going for the long-haul and I wish the same for each of you. I pray that as a new year approaches you decide to prioritize your personal life. I ask on your behalf that you discover who it is that you desire to be in terms of integrity and character and that you relentlessly pursue that… with blinders on!
I pray that you give yourself GRACE this upcoming year! As I mentioned at the opening of this convo, “setting your hands to the plow to begin the work is another topic” and might I add, a difficult task! So, be gentle and forgive yourself when you make decisions that do not profit what you know you deserve. It’s a process and progress will be seen if you stick with it.
So while many are dragging the phrase the term “new year, new me” through the mud or even knocking the idea of a resolution down, allow me to kindly remind you that although you don’t need to wait for a new year to change, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with desiring and demanding something new from an upcoming year. There’s nothing wrong with manifesting what you know you deserve.