Why My 2018 Goals Don't Involve Love

Why My 2018 Goals Don't Involve Love

Everyone is always asking me if I'm thinking about marriage, but I'm only 20

Much like 2016, 2017 was a "lice on rats on a horse corpse on fire 2017" (Thank you, John Oliver, for always giving me really descriptive ways to describe the shit piles that have been the past few years). But I am determined to make 2018 my year, especially after the past few years have been so terrible. I cannot reiterate enough how terrible 2016 and 2017 were. Like Christ, we elected the country's wealthiest hemorrhoid (again, thanks John Oliver!)

But, 2018 is going to be my year. I am going to eat healthier, workout more, and really dedicate myself to everything I do. That means school, my "future" job in a hospital, Odyssey, my friendships, and family. The big thing, of course, is that I'm not looking for love.

I'm a junior in college, graduating next August. Everyone always asks if I'm in a serious relationship and if I'm thinking about marriage. Uh, I'm 20, so no, not really. When I tell people I want to be a nurse, they always get excited about me meeting a hot doctor and getting married. That's exactly why I'm being a nurse, you got me!! But more than that, I am so much more than a wife and a mom. Every woman is more than that, and why would we try and make ourselves one-dimensional?

I am not paying $12,000 a semester to find a husband. I am not pulling all-nighters in the library with frequent breaks to cry in the bathroom to abandon my dreams to follow a man. I'm not going to classes from 8 a.m. to 4 p.m. just to hurry to my CNA certification class from 5:30-11 p.m. all to "meet a hot doctor" and be able to retire. I am passionate about healthcare and helping people and being a part of making someone feel better when everything is falling apart.

I am not here, on this Earth, just to be a wife. I am so many more things than that. I am strong, I am passionate about everything I throw myself into it, and I am smart. 2018 is my year, and I refuse to be held back by love. What happens will happen, but what's more important is that I spend my time while I'm young to focus on what I'm passionate about. I'm 20-years-old, and I have so much growing left to do. Why would I cut that growing short by committing myself to only focusing on one aspect of a full life?

Someday, I do want to be a wife. I want to be a mother, and I so desperately want to teach my children how to be strong, confident, and compassionate people like my mother and father did for me. But right now, I want to focus on me and becoming the best person I can be so I can become the best nurse, wife, mother, and friend I can possibly be. And in 2018, I'm not going to apologize for that.

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To Everyone Who Hasn't Had Sex Yet, Wait For Marriage, It's The Right Move

If you have not had sex yet, wait.


Premarital sex is not a new concept, no matter how much people like to pretend it is. You can trace scripture and historical texts back thousands of year to see that lust and fornication have been a problem since… well, since we humans have been problems.

They tell you in sex ed that sex causes you to form a bond with someone. They throw some big chemical names at you that are apparently in your body and cause that emotional attachment to happen, then you move on (or back to) how important condoms are and why STDs are so scary.

As a middle schooler or teenager, you can't understand what it means to become permanently connected to someone as a result of a quick, physical act.

If you haven't even had your first kiss, you really can't imagine what it's like to develop such a complex and intimate connection with someone because you have yet to feel the butterflies in your stomach from a kiss. So you really don't know what it's like to have a whole different type of feeling in your stomach.

You never forget your first love. It's one of the most cliche things you consistently hear, but it's true. Ask anyone. I guarantee your parents can still spurt out their first love's name in a few seconds. And most people never forget their first time. I know all my friends can recount that often awkward and slightly terrifying moment as if it happened an hour ago. When you mix those two, especially if you are in your teens, oh boy.

You never forget that. No matter how hard you try.

Everything you hear about sex is true: it's amazing, fantastic, life-changing, etc. There's a reason people have done it as frequently as they do, for as long as they have. But every time you sleep with someone, you leave a piece of yourself with them. Every time you choose to take that final physical step with someone, you cannot go back and collect that piece of your dignity and soul that you left with someone.

So, imagine what happens when you break up with someone you've slept with. Or that you just hooked up with. You have given someone a little slice of yourself forever. And you can never get it back. And imagine what happens when you do that multiple times. You give a piece of yourself to five, 10, 15, 20 or more people. Then you meet the person that you want to spend forever with. And you no longer have that whole part of you. You've given pieces away, and you can no longer give those to the love of your life.

So, save those pieces for your future spouse.

If you have not had sex yet, wait. If you have, consider not giving more pieces of yourself away to people who are not your spouse. Sex was created to be between two spouses, nobody else. So we need to try to maintain its integrity.

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Fun Winter Date Ideas

There is always something about when the weather gets cold your love life gets hot


There is nothing better than spending time with someone you love. There is something about when the weather getting colder you cannot help but fall in love with spending time with someone special.

Cuddling by the fire is always an essential. Lets face it you are freezing from the outside why not get together make a pallet full of blankets and pillows, light the fire in the fire place, and get to cuddling while watching cute Christmas movies. It is a fun time to really get in some quality time with your significant other.

Driving around in the car looking at Christmas lights. So many people go completely all out on the lights outside of there house that why not enjoy all their hard work. I love Christmas lights as it is,but getting to spend time with someone you love just makes it that much better.

Ice Skating... Grab your skates and if you are anything like me you will need the wall to the skating rink without falling. You get to drink hot chocolate in between skating. It is always nice to get to have fun and do something you would not normally do any other time of the year.

Playing in the Snow, is such a fun time to get silly with your person, because you can truly let your inner child come out. You can have a snowball fight, make snow angles, or you can even build a snowball fort. Plus you and your date will be in so many layers that you will look like walking marshmallows which is always funny. With this one obviously it is not always ideal considering there is no guarantee it will actually snow, but if you get the chance I 100 percent recommend this one.

Decorating for Christmas... I love getting in the Christmas spirit by decorating my living space with all the Christmas vibes. You and your significant other can decorate the tree with all your ornaments. It is such a fun time and you are killing two birds with one stone. You get to get your space all decorated and pretty, but you also get a fun date out of it.

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