Much like 2016, 2017 was a "lice on rats on a horse corpse on fire 2017" (Thank you, John Oliver, for always giving me really descriptive ways to describe the shit piles that have been the past few years). But I am determined to make 2018 my year, especially after the past few years have been so terrible. I cannot reiterate enough how terrible 2016 and 2017 were. Like Christ, we elected the country's wealthiest hemorrhoid (again, thanks John Oliver!)
But, 2018 is going to be my year. I am going to eat healthier, workout more, and really dedicate myself to everything I do. That means school, my "future" job in a hospital, Odyssey, my friendships, and family. The big thing, of course, is that I'm not looking for love.
I'm a junior in college, graduating next August. Everyone always asks if I'm in a serious relationship and if I'm thinking about marriage. Uh, I'm 20, so no, not really. When I tell people I want to be a nurse, they always get excited about me meeting a hot doctor and getting married. That's exactly why I'm being a nurse, you got me!! But more than that, I am so much more than a wife and a mom. Every woman is more than that, and why would we try and make ourselves one-dimensional?
I am not paying $12,000 a semester to find a husband. I am not pulling all-nighters in the library with frequent breaks to cry in the bathroom to abandon my dreams to follow a man. I'm not going to classes from 8 a.m. to 4 p.m. just to hurry to my CNA certification class from 5:30-11 p.m. all to "meet a hot doctor" and be able to retire. I am passionate about healthcare and helping people and being a part of making someone feel better when everything is falling apart.
I am not here, on this Earth, just to be a wife. I am so many more things than that. I am strong, I am passionate about everything I throw myself into it, and I am smart. 2018 is my year, and I refuse to be held back by love. What happens will happen, but what's more important is that I spend my time while I'm young to focus on what I'm passionate about. I'm 20-years-old, and I have so much growing left to do. Why would I cut that growing short by committing myself to only focusing on one aspect of a full life?
Someday, I do want to be a wife. I want to be a mother, and I so desperately want to teach my children how to be strong, confident, and compassionate people like my mother and father did for me. But right now, I want to focus on me and becoming the best person I can be so I can become the best nurse, wife, mother, and friend I can possibly be. And in 2018, I'm not going to apologize for that.