Why My 2018 Goals Don't Involve Love

Why My 2018 Goals Don't Involve Love

Everyone is always asking me if I'm thinking about marriage, but I'm only 20

Much like 2016, 2017 was a "lice on rats on a horse corpse on fire 2017" (Thank you, John Oliver, for always giving me really descriptive ways to describe the shit piles that have been the past few years). But I am determined to make 2018 my year, especially after the past few years have been so terrible. I cannot reiterate enough how terrible 2016 and 2017 were. Like Christ, we elected the country's wealthiest hemorrhoid (again, thanks John Oliver!)

But, 2018 is going to be my year. I am going to eat healthier, workout more, and really dedicate myself to everything I do. That means school, my "future" job in a hospital, Odyssey, my friendships, and family. The big thing, of course, is that I'm not looking for love.

I'm a junior in college, graduating next August. Everyone always asks if I'm in a serious relationship and if I'm thinking about marriage. Uh, I'm 20, so no, not really. When I tell people I want to be a nurse, they always get excited about me meeting a hot doctor and getting married. That's exactly why I'm being a nurse, you got me!! But more than that, I am so much more than a wife and a mom. Every woman is more than that, and why would we try and make ourselves one-dimensional?

I am not paying $12,000 a semester to find a husband. I am not pulling all-nighters in the library with frequent breaks to cry in the bathroom to abandon my dreams to follow a man. I'm not going to classes from 8 a.m. to 4 p.m. just to hurry to my CNA certification class from 5:30-11 p.m. all to "meet a hot doctor" and be able to retire. I am passionate about healthcare and helping people and being a part of making someone feel better when everything is falling apart.

I am not here, on this Earth, just to be a wife. I am so many more things than that. I am strong, I am passionate about everything I throw myself into it, and I am smart. 2018 is my year, and I refuse to be held back by love. What happens will happen, but what's more important is that I spend my time while I'm young to focus on what I'm passionate about. I'm 20-years-old, and I have so much growing left to do. Why would I cut that growing short by committing myself to only focusing on one aspect of a full life?

Someday, I do want to be a wife. I want to be a mother, and I so desperately want to teach my children how to be strong, confident, and compassionate people like my mother and father did for me. But right now, I want to focus on me and becoming the best person I can be so I can become the best nurse, wife, mother, and friend I can possibly be. And in 2018, I'm not going to apologize for that.

Cover Image Credit: Pexels

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5 Reasons Why Dating The Football Player Is Overrated

Dating someone that society idolizes has no real benefits unless dating that person makes you truly happy

In every teen movie, the girl always falls for the popular football player guy. At some point in every girl's life, deep down, she wanted to be the girl to date the star player, but the movies never show you the downside of dating the football player.

1. Football Season Sucks

Unless you really like having alone time in a relationship, football season and the months leading up to football season sucks. Your boyfriend will constantly be at practice or in training. Practices and workouts and field days will become their life and you will have to mold your schedule to fit into theirs, and if you’re not very good at that then you probably won't be seeing much of your significant other unless it’s on the field.

2.God Forbid They Lose A Game

Losing a game is equivalent to the world ending. Be prepared to deal with a sad, emotional, mess of a human being. No matter what they say there is very little chance that their mood will change after they lose a game. I am all for being an emotional support system but one of the hardest things to do is cheer up a football player who lost their third game in a row.

3. Being Their #1 Fan Takes Work

I mean sitting on a cold bench for some hours takes real dedication. Sitting on a cold bench in the rain takes even more dedication. At that point, you’re probably going to start praying the game ends early. If you’re not a fan of football these will be the longest hours of your day. I’m sure you care about your boyfriend quite a bit but watching them run up and down a field will get old really quickly.

4. It’s Not Like The Movies

I am sure your significant other will win a few games, maybe he’ll win all of them but it’s not like the movies where you get to run up to the fence and they give you this big romantic kiss.

5. It’s Really Not All That

Just because you date a football player doesn’t mean that all life problems go away. Growing up watching TV shows and movies they all hyped the girl up to date a football player. Well, instead of dating a football player, be the football player. Dating someone that society idolizes has no real benefits unless dating that person makes you truly happy.

Cover Image Credit: Via YouTube

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Bringing My Relationship Back To "Us" And Realizing How Technology Stands In Our Way

When you begin to lose the "us" in your relationship, where do you even start?

After seven years together, my fiance and I finally had one of our toughest conversations yet. In the last seven years, we have been through a lot. Three years long distance, family trauma, physical and mental health trials and triumphs, etc. He works forty hours-a-week, and I work full time while also being a full-time student. In our hectic lives, we didn't realize that we were starting to lose "us." We come home after a long hard day and honestly just want to have some peace. We turn on a TV show and veg out for a while.

In the last few months, I had started to realize that something was missing, and honestly, I couldn't figure out what. One night while he was playing a video game and I was on my phone, it began to dawn on me. We no longer took time to concentrate on us. We no longer worked on strengthening our relationship.

As high school sweethearts, we have changed a lot together. I am definitely not the fourteen-year-old he first fell in love with, and I have watched him develop into the most amazing man I know. We had lost the part of our relationship that was full of life.

One night, we sat down and started discussing our relationship. It was hard. Really hard. We are a couple that no one wants to think has issues. One of our friends once told us that if we were to break up she would never believe in love again. The reality is -- no relationship is perfect. Relationships are hard. Relationships take constant work. If someone tells you it is easy, their relationship needs to have a reality check.

The question we came to was: "Where do we go from here? We love each other very deeply, but something needs to change. We need to focus on us, but where do we even start?"

The next night, we put the technology away. Phone, TV, computer... everything. We ended up playing board games by candlelight. Yes, I know this sounds ridiculously corny, but this was one of the best things that has happened to my relationship.

We are a society so caught up in technology that we forget to focus on what matters most. We forget to hug our loved ones. We forget to say "I love you." Our relationships with humans should be so much more important than our dependence on technology.

When you begin to lose the "us" in your relationship, you need to find the root of the issue. For us, it was our constant use of technology -- our lack of focus on each other, not the world around us. Even if you just take an hour out of your night to talk. Just talk. You would be amazed by what it can do for your relationship. Relationships take time, and every minute we spend concentrated on our phone or TV is time that we could be focusing on a loved one.

Remembering the importance of dedicating time to my relationship has already done leaps and bounds for my relationship and this is only the beginning.

Cover Image Credit: Anton Porsche

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