A few years ago, my mom and I were out late shopping. Hands grasping bursting shopping bags, we prepared to leave the warm light of Kohl’s and step out into the frigid night. At the metal detectors, my mother paused for a moment to dig through her cluttered purse.

“You are taking forever,” I whined. “Just find the keys while walking to the car. Don’t you want to watch the season finale of One Tree Hill? I think Lucas is going to tell Peyton that she’s the one.”

She looked at me for a second before sighing. “Before you go out anywhere, Nandita, hold the keys in between your fingers. Especially during night. You don’t know who’s out there.”

“I’ve never seen dad do that.”

“He doesn’t have to.”

I was confused. Why did my mom and I have to hold our keys in between our fingers, but my dad did not?

I found out the answer at the age of thirteen.

After constant begging and bickering my parents finally trusted me and my friend to walk the half mile to the mall ourselves. It was merely a few minutes when we had reached the crossroad and started waiting for the signal to cross the street.

That was also the first and sadly not the last time, a group of guys rolled down their car windows and yelled, “How much for an hour of it?"

I think most of you reading this can relate to these experiences or at least know someone who can. If you can’t, hopefully, this shows another perspective on street harassment and catcalling. But for those that did know what I was talking about, I think the feeling after is something that is far more poignant.

You feel scared for a second. You remember that news story you saw on TV about the girl getting raped and wonder whether this guy is capable of harming you.

You then question why it happened. Was it what I was wearing? Did I ask for it?

And then you actually process the situation. Some idiot believed it was okay for him to yell out of a passing car that “he wants your p*ssy” or that “he wants to tap that.” And then you feel gross. Completely and irrevocably gross. Which suddenly turns into anger. You’re pissed off at him for making you feel this way, and at yourself for not saying anything back no matter how bad you wanted to say “f*ck off.”

And then you try to forget about it as fast as you can. But hey after a while, you develop a system of trying to assuage the situation: whether it's awkwardly laughing it off or ignoring it. But that sickening feeling and that humiliation, it never goes away.

And it’s not OK.

It’s not OK that by the time a girl has reached puberty, adult men think it’s okay to leer at her boobs.

It’s not OK that grabbing a woman’s ass when she’s walking down the street is considered a compliment.

It’s not OK that women at subway stations get grinded on by unknown men and feel powerless to do anything about it in case they get hurt.

It’s not OK that girls, sometimes even at the innocuous age of ten, are constantly anxious to walk down the street lest some misogynistic pig thinks it’s okay to yell at her if she does not respond.

SSH has conducted multiple surveys that focus on street harassment. On a survey of 811 female respondents, 99% of women said they had experienced some type of street harassment. And close to 57% of the female respondents said that they had been inappropriately touched or grabbed in a sexual manner. According to research done by Cornell University, 84% of females have been catcalled before they turn eighteen. An international study asked 16,000 women over 22 countries about sexual harassment on the street. And more than half admitted to being groped in public.

And it all boils down to a basic sense of respect or in this case the lack thereof. This type of misogynistic behavior is rooted in the idea of them not respecting women and treating them as a dog they can whistle at. It’s the sense of entitlement that they feel with getting away with saying salacious comments to a random girl on the street. And then when being called out on it they justify their actions by saying that this was their way of paying a compliment, or that they were just trying to see if the girl was interested. But this isn’t true. Most of the time these men drive away or at least the repeated rejections should give an indication that it’s not them trying to be kind but instead just another way to assert their dominance. People need to stop justifying these men’s acts as them just being funny or feminists making a big deal over nothing and realize that women everywhere are getting hurt and harassed daily and that this is a serious issue that should be addressed.

But this doesn’t have to continue.

This residual spiral of shame and anger does not have to continue. We can instead teach our sons at a young age to respect women since hate is not a born trait but a learned skill that can also be untaught. We can educate both genders on the harmful psychological and mental effects that sexual harassment can cause. We can stop acting callously about this subject just because we may feel uncomfortable about it. We can teach women that they were “never asking for it” and that their bodies are not just sex objects for a man to stare at. New York is now attempting to display “No Catcaller Zone” signs on at least every street to raise awareness and provoke thoughtful discussions on how this is a dire issue. New York has created strides in this movement but it is our job to continue and not let this act of disrespect be prolonged. But most of all we should work towards a world where women not only feel safe but also empowered and confident walking down the street.