The 2016 Presidential Election is well underway, and the candidates are campaigning in full force. With Super Tuesday quickly approaching, I thought it would be a good idea to look at the candidates from a different perspective. This is the ultimate guide to the 2016 Elections than only true Potter fans can understand.
Ted Cruz: Severus Snape
Strict rule follower. If it’s not in the Constitution, we can’t possibly put it in our government. Probably sits around at night and dreams of malicious punishments for rule breakers during his presidency. No wonder everyone he’s ever worked with hates him and wonders why his constituents voted him into office.
Ben Carson: Neville Longbottom
A genuinely good person, but he is awkward, quiet, and makes clumsy errors. Such as forgetting to actually campaign for the nomination.
John Kasich: Reginald Cattermole
Who is Reginald Cattermole? Who is John Kasich? Exactly.
Marco Rubio: Cedric Diggory
The pretty boy, the chosen one of the establishment. Rubio has the resume, the charisma and the demeanor for the Presidency. That’s what makes some people irrationally hate him. Also, being the established candidate in 2016 is like Cedric taking the Portkey; he can’t stop now that he’s started and it's leading him to his death.
Hillary Clinton: Dolores Umbridge
The perfect characterization. Separated from the actual world, wants the government in every aspect of your life, tries to be cute and popular, and just flat out hates people.
Bernie Sanders: Xenophilius Lovegood
Bernie is old with a small, but devoted, following. He’s always been around the edges, but now is his moment in the spotlight. His supporters will swear by his statements without actually having any understanding of the issues. At least he has a cool campaign slogan. #FeelTheBern
Donald Trump: Gilderoy Lockhart
All style and no substance. A smash hit with the cameras and the papers. Makes ridiculous statements about his exploits and goals. Definitely the type of guy to let a cage of pixies loose on the country and have no solution as to how to stop it. The Donald is everyone’s favorite and may end up getting the job, but once he’s in office, his supporters will realize that he has no stomach and knows nothing about the job.