20 Things I Would Rather Be Doing Than Going To The Math Empo

20 Things I Would Rather Be Doing Than Going To The Math Empo

Literally Anything Else.
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In the world, there are few places that epitomize pure evil. This hall of horrors is the destroyer of dreams, the annihilator of amiability, the slaughterer of sanity. This place is no prison cell, torture chamber, or hellish waste (at least not literally): we call it “The Math Emporium”. If you know what it is, I am so sorry. If you have the pleasure of not knowing, it is the off-campus math facility filled with hundreds of computers, where people enrolled in 1500 level math classes and lower go. You take your quizzes and tests here, you complete practice problems here, you get "tutored" here. If you listen carefully, you can hear the soft whimpers of students, craving the interaction of an actual instructor. Last week, I was at the math empo four out of the five school days. Next week, I will be there every day…In honor of my long walk to the guillotine, here are 20 things I would absolutely prefer doing instead of spending my days at the math empo:

1. Going to the gynecologist, because having an old lady gawk at your vag is idle.

2. Getting Sushi and Bubble tea (the only good thing about the math empo).

3. Sitting in a three-hour lecture about Appalachian Studies, because it's so interesting.

4. Being stuck on 81 in traffic.

5. Crossing the Drillfield in 10-degree wind-chill wearing my pajamas.

6. Waiting in Turner Place for an hour for food.

7. Getting the Whiskey shits and D2 shits...at the same time.

8. Reading the Terms and Conditions for iPhone updates.

9. Streaking the DrillField in broad daylight.

10.Getting “Make America Great Again” tattooed on my face.

11. Sleeping on the suite couch for a week (it's not good).

12. Going the McComas and fighting for an open machine, bench, weight, floor square.

13. Going to the Barbed Wire Museum (yes, it exists).

14. Working the 7pm-2am shift at DX.

15. Going to my family reunion (that says a lot).

16. Riding the drunk bus on a Friday night (it's all fun and games till someone pucks on your shoe).

17. Getting hit on by creepy drunk bar dudes.

18. Going on a hundred horror story Tinder dates.

19. Missing the last bus and walking home after a party.

20. Literally anything

Wish me luck...

Cover Image Credit: Prezi

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8 Reasons Why My Dad Is the Most Important Man In My Life

Forever my number one guy.
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Growing up, there's been one consistent man I can always count on, my father. In any aspect of my life, my dad has always been there, showing me unconditional love and respect every day. No matter what, I know that my dad will always be the most important man in my life for many reasons.

1. He has always been there.

Literally. From the day I was born until today, I have never not been able to count on my dad to be there for me, uplift me and be the best dad he can be.

2. He learned to adapt and suffer through girly trends to make me happy.

I'm sure when my dad was younger and pictured his future, he didn't think about the Barbie pretend pageants, dressing up as a princess, perfecting my pigtails and enduring other countless girly events. My dad never turned me down when I wanted to play a game, no matter what and was always willing to help me pick out cute outfits and do my hair before preschool.

3. He sends the cutest texts.

Random text messages since I have gotten my own cell phone have always come my way from my dad. Those randoms "I love you so much" and "I am so proud of you" never fail to make me smile, and I can always count on my dad for an adorable text message when I'm feeling down.

4. He taught me how to be brave.

When I needed to learn how to swim, he threw me in the pool. When I needed to learn how to ride a bike, he went alongside me and made sure I didn't fall too badly. When I needed to learn how to drive, he was there next to me, making sure I didn't crash.

5. He encourages me to best the best I can be.

My dad sees the best in me, no matter how much I fail. He's always there to support me and turn my failures into successes. He can sit on the phone with me for hours, talking future career stuff and listening to me lay out my future plans and goals. He wants the absolute best for me, and no is never an option, he is always willing to do whatever it takes to get me where I need to be.

6. He gets sentimental way too often, but it's cute.

Whether you're sitting down at the kitchen table, reminiscing about your childhood, or that one song comes on that your dad insists you will dance to together on your wedding day, your dad's emotions often come out in the cutest possible way, forever reminding you how loved you are.


7. He supports you, emotionally and financially.

Need to vent about a guy in your life that isn't treating you well? My dad is there. Need some extra cash to help fund spring break? He's there for that, too.

8. He shows me how I should be treated.

Yes, my dad treats me like a princess, and I don't expect every guy I meet to wait on me hand and foot, but I do expect respect, and that's exactly what my dad showed I deserve. From the way he loves, admires, and respects me, he shows me that there are guys out there who will one day come along and treat me like that. My dad always advises me to not put up with less than I deserve and assures me that the right guy will come along one day.

For these reasons and more, my dad will forever be my No. 1 man. I love you!

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To The High School Graduating Seniors

I know you're ready, but be ready.

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Seniors,

I am not going to say anything about senioritis because I was ready to get out of there and I'm sure you are too; however, in your last months living at home you should take advantage of the luxuries you will not have in a college dorm. The part of college seen in movies is great, the rest of it is incredibly inconvenient. It is better to come to terms with this While you still have plenty of time to prepare and enjoy yourself.

Perhaps one of the most annoying examples is the shower. Enjoy your hot, barefoot showers now because soon enough you will have no water pressure and a drain clogged with other people's hair. Enjoy touching your feet to the floor in the shower and the bathroom because though it seems weird, it's a small thing taken away from you in college when you have to wear shoes everywhere.

Enjoy your last summer with your friends. After this summer, any free time you take is a sacrifice. For example, if you want to go home for the summer after your freshman year and be with your friends, you have to sacrifice an internship. If you sacrifice an internship, you risk falling behind on your resume, and so on. I'm not saying you can't do that, but it is not an easy choice anymore.

Get organized. If you're like me you probably got good grades in high school by relying on your own mind. You think I can remember what I have to do for tomorrow. In college, it is much more difficult to live by memory. There are classes that only meet once or twice a week and meeting and appointments in between that are impossible to mentally keep straight. If you do not yet have an organizational system that works for you, get one.

I do not mean to sound pessimistic about school. College is great and you will meet a lot of people and make a lot of memories that will stick with you for most of your life. I'm just saying be ready.

-A freshman drowning in work

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