20 Things That I Do When I'm Supposed To Be Doing Homework

20 Things That I Do When I'm Supposed To Be Doing Homework

Warning: reading this list is one of them.

We've all been there. It's midnight, you've been out all day, you finally sit down to do your work and right when you think that you're about to be productive you can't stop procrastinating. You feel bad and you remind yourself that you have a 9:00 a.m. class tomorrow and you need to get to work, but as hard as you try, it's no use. The procrastination train has long since left the station and there's no turning back. So, the next time that you find yourself perusing the internet at 2:00 a.m. when you're supposed to be writing your art history final, here's some inspiration in the form of 20 things that I do when I'm supposed to be doing my homework.

1. Write down all of my homework in my planner in assorted colors.

If it looks pretty, then I'll want to do it, right?

2. Check my Facebook newsfeed.

I also stalk random people on Facebook.

3. Look at Instagram.

I sometimes contemplate dropping out of school to work for New Fork City.

4. Take 3-7 Buzzfeed quizzes.

Apparently, I'm 52 percent Gryffindor!

5. Watch Netflix repeatedly for small periods of time.

I convince myself each time that this break will work as a motivator to be productive.

6. Shop online.

I always fill my Brandy Melville shopping cart with 12 things that I'll never actually get around to ordering.

7. Text anyone who will respond.

This includes that one friend who I haven't talked to in over two years because at 2:00 a.m. everyone's a welcome distraction.

8. Ponder my life choices.

I picked a school that's on the quarter system. (Can you say "overload?")

9. Research 15 decent paying jobs that don’t require an undergraduate degree.

Don't worry mom and dad, I'm just kidding.

10. Swear to myself that I will be more productive tomorrow.

Somehow I actually convince myself that I will keep that promise tomorrow, unlike today.

11. Convince myself that a little break is OK!

I've been working really hard for the past five minutes.

12. Convince myself that nobody has it as rough as me and that I study so much.

Then I take one look at my engineer roommate and realize that's not true.

13. Calculate how many hours I have left to sleep if I finish my work in an hour.

Four and a half hours of sleep isn't enough for a growing girl. Who am I kidding, anyway? I can't finish a 10-page essay in an hour.

14. Pick a hangnail.

Then I curse myself for picking aforementioned hangnail.

15. Shamelessly go on www.Eonline.com.

Or, in other words, stalk the Kardashians and curse cruel fate for not giving me their lives.

16. Consider going to the gym.

Exercise helps the brain work. My health streak can start today!

17. Check to see if Grubhub delivers this late.

My health streak is now over.

18. Count down the days until a school break.

Only 105 days to go! It's so close!

19. Listen to 7/11 and imagine myself being Beyoncé performing at Madison Square Garden, booty shakes and all.

Don't lie to yourself, everyone does this.

20. Do anything that isn't homework.

See numbers 1-19.

Cover Image Credit: Articulate Marketing

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College As Told By Junie B. Jones

A tribute to the beloved author Barbara Parks.

The Junie B. Jones series was a big part of my childhood. They were the first chapter books I ever read. On car trips, my mother would entertain my sister and me by purchasing a new Junie B. Jones book and reading it to us. My favorite part about the books then, and still, are how funny they are. Junie B. takes things very literally, and her (mis)adventures are hilarious. A lot of children's authors tend to write for children and parents in their books to keep the attention of both parties. Barbara Park, the author of the Junie B. Jones series, did just that. This is why many things Junie B. said in Kindergarten could be applied to her experiences in college, as shown here.

When Junie B. introduces herself hundreds of times during orientation week:

“My name is Junie B. Jones. The B stands for Beatrice. Except I don't like Beatrice. I just like B and that's all." (Junie B. Jones and the Stupid Smelly Bus, p. 1)

When she goes to her first college career fair:

"Yeah, only guess what? I never even heard of that dumb word careers before. And so I won't know what the heck we're talking about." (Junie B. Jones and her Big Fat Mouth, p. 2)

When she thinks people in class are gossiping about her:

“They whispered to each other for a real long time. Also, they kept looking at me. And they wouldn't even stop." (Junie B., First Grader Boss of Lunch, p. 66)

When someone asks her about the library:

“It's where the books are. And guess what? Books are my very favorite things in the whole world!" (Junie B. Jones and the Stupid Smelly Bus, p. 27)

When she doesn't know what she's eating at the caf:

“I peeked inside the bread. I stared and stared for a real long time. 'Cause I didn't actually recognize the meat, that's why. Finally, I ate it anyway. It was tasty...whatever it was." (Junie B., First Grader Boss of Lunch, p. 66)

When she gets bored during class:

“I drew a sausage patty on my arm. Only that wasn't even an assignment." (Junie B. Jones Loves Handsome Warren, p. 18)

When she considers dropping out:

“Maybe someday I will just be the Boss of Cookies instead!" (Junie B., First Grader Boss of Lunch, p. 76)

When her friends invite her to the lake for Labor Day:

“GOOD NEWS! I CAN COME TO THE LAKE WITH YOU, I BELIEVE!" (Junie B. Jones Smells Something Fishy, p. 17)

When her professor never enters grades on time:

“I rolled my eyes way up to the sky." (Junie B., First Grader Boss of Lunch, p. 38)

When her friends won't stop poking her on Facebook:

“Do not poke me one more time, and I mean it." (Junie B. Jones Smells Something Fishy, p. 7)

When she finds out she got a bad test grade:

“Then my eyes got a little bit wet. I wasn't crying, though." (Junie B. Jones and the Stupid Smelly Bus, p. 17)

When she isn't allowed to have a pet on campus but really wants one:


When she has to walk across campus in the dark:

“There's no such thing as monsters. There's no such thing as monsters." (Junie B. Jones Has a Monster Under Her Bed, p. 12)

When her boyfriend breaks her heart:

“I am a bachelorette. A bachelorette is when your boyfriend named Ricardo dumps you at recess. Only I wasn't actually expecting that terrible trouble." (Junie B. Jones Is (almost) a Flower Girl, p. 1)

When she paints her first canvas:

"And painting is the funnest thing I love!" (Junie B. Jones and her Big Fat Mouth, p. 61)

When her sorority takes stacked pictures:

“The biggie kids stand in the back. And the shortie kids stand in the front. I am a shortie kid. Only that is nothing to be ashamed of." (Junie B. Jones Has a Monster Under Her Bed, p. 7)

When she's had enough of the caf's food:

“Want to bake a lemon pie? A lemon pie would be fun, don't you think?" (Junie B. Jones Has a Monster Under Her Bed p. 34)

When she forgets about an exam:

“Speechless is when your mouth can't speech." (Junie B. Jones Loves Handsome Warren, p. 54)

When she finds out she has enough credits to graduate:

“A DIPLOMA! A DIPLOMA! I WILL LOVE A DIPLOMA!" (Junie B. Jones is a Graduation Girl p. 6)

When she gets home from college:

"IT'S ME! IT'S JUNIE B. JONES! I'M HOME FROM MY SCHOOL!" (Junie B. Jones and some Sneaky Peaky Spying p. 20)

Cover Image Credit: OrderOfBooks

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