20 Things That Will Inevitably Happen If/When You Watch Scandal
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Politics and Activism

20 Things That Will Inevitably Happen If/When You Watch Scandal

Questioning what might happen to you if and when you watch Scandal? Consider it handled.

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20 Things That Will Inevitably Happen If/When You Watch Scandal

1. You will believe that red wine, popcorn, Chinese takeout and the occasional burger are efficient enough of food to sustain a healthy diet; because clearly if it works for Olivia Pope, it can work for you.

2. You start to notice little things, like why is Olivia's whole team are coffee drinkers while she proceeds to only drink tea? And on that note, why in the world does she go to coffee shops to buy tea every day when there is a mega bar at the office?

3. You won't flinch anymore when the scene changes are all spastic camera shutters.

4. You'll come to terms with the fact that no one is Team Mellie, because as much as she tries to hold the nation together with her intelligence, no one can get past her heinous hairstyles and the fact that she still hates Olivia with a burning fury.

5. Knowing the Fitz and Olivia music by heart and that when it plays one of three things will happen: 1) They will both look super distraught and Fitz will furrow his nonexistent eyebrows as they stare at each other in silence; 2) They'll being to make out aggressively; 3) One of them storms out of the room (or all of them will happen in that order).

6. Contemplating purchasing a Windows phone because if it works for Olivia, there have to be some perks.

7. You will want to be a gladiator in a suit so much that you actually consider shopping at The Limited, simply because of Kerry Washington's Scandal collaboration. Bring on the power suits, long gloves and crisp, white jackets.

8. You'll become scared of toolboxes.

9. Motown music will somehow fit into every episode, and you just go with it because Stevie Wonder's soul music makes up for the soulless politicians of Washington D.C.

10. You WILL begin to talk fast and slick and enunciate words like Cyrus, Harrison, Olivia and her dad. BECAUSE the state of YOUR LIFE as well as your dialect as YOU know it is changed forever by this show.

11. You'll hate every character at one point, even the ones you love the most.

12. You have a sixth sense for when one of Olivia's famous empowerment speeches is coming, like the classic “I am not a fantasy. If you want me, earn me."

13. Just when you thought Cyrus Beene could not lose any more humanity and nothing he could do would shock you, there he goes again, being a political monster.

14. You pity David Rosen more than you care to admit because, to be honest, he looks a little like a reptile. And even when no one is on his side he always tries to keep the white hat on.

15. You're baffled by Olivia Pope's swimming scenes and how one woman could make a swimming cap and once piece look so chic.

16. Knowing almost every episode ends in a cliffhanger, how in the world does almost EVERY episode end in the cliffhanger?

17. You will try not to give away any spoilers to those people who are simultaneously still watching season 1 on Netflix yet are watching the live episodes as well. But I mean, come on, are they really going to attempt to do both?

18. You ponder how all the issues in seasons 1, 2, and 3 that could have ruined “this great nation" have somehow vanished and no one says anything about them again. Imagine what would happen if all of the dirt from all of the seasons somehow exploded a la WikiLeaks, the country might implode.

19. You'll feel super patriotic one minute, and then contemplate moving to Switzerland the next.

20. You may be Team Fitz or Team Jake, but most importantly, you're Team Olivia. Because to quote OP herself, “I'm choosing me… Now, you can dance with me or you can get off my dance floor. I'm fine dancing alone."

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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