Too many bad teen movies have convinced you that only tall, blonde cheerleaders get boyfriends. That is, only until he sees how “you’re not like other girls." Cue the scene of him passing by your locker in slow motion while “Dirty Little Secret” by All-American Rejects plays in the background. When you manage to get through life seemingly unscathed by the threat of relationships, you start to think your life won’t end up like a critically acclaimed rom-com. Now you think something is wrong with you.

Now you’re in your 20s. It’s your last year of college, and you still have never had a relationship, let alone been asked on a date.“It’s okay, honey! Your time will come! Boys are threatened by how pretty you are!” your family tells you. Soon your Facebook newsfeed is plastered with engagement announcements--or worse, wedding photos--from your childhood and college friends wedged between some stupid BuzzFeed listicle. You’re a statistic in a society that pressures the idea of losing your virginity (which totally is a social construct) in high school or college to someone who is ~special~. Blegh.Now you're certain something is wrong with you.

You’re lying on the floor contemplating why no one has shown any interest in you. Maybe you come on too strong? What if you really are just as ugly as Susan from high school said you are? Your friends try to comfort you with, “You’ve never been in a relationship? That’s so weird! You’re sooooo pretty!” but really they're patronizing you. Is she lying? Does she have to say that? All your other friends have had at least one relationship; so, what’s your problem?

The truth is, there’s nothing wrong with you.

Our society has fabricated this thought that every person is designed to find “the one,” but you often fall in love with too many strangers. Sometimes it’s the barista at Starbucks who spelled your name correctly, or the stranger that said hi to you on your way to class, or the cashier at Chipotle who told you to have a nice day. Will any of those be “the one?”

Maybe you haven’t had cute after-midnight phone calls. Maybe you don’t have a sweatshirt that smells like your partner. Maybe there aren’t metaphorical butterflies flapping their wings in your stomach. Maybe your Friday nights aren’t dinner and dancing with your significant other, but binge watching "30 Rock" hunched over a pizza. Maybe you think you have fat in the wrong places. Maybe you have a crooked smile and are too quiet. Maybe people point out more of your flaws than perfections. You still deserve love.

But somewhere far out there--maybe not down the street or in your biology class--someone else who could grow to love you is thawing a pizza and thinking the same thing. They feel lonely and unloved and undesired. Or their previous romantic endeavors have fared unsuccessful. But they soldier on.

And maybe you don’t want love, and that’s okay, too. I’m here to tell you that punishing yourself because you stood by watching other people passing is not what you deserve. But, you deserve to surround yourself with happiness; it’s the greatest love of all.