It's that time of year again: the time when singles everywhere have to struggle through all of the couples celebrating their love on the most romantic day of the year, only to be reminded of their loneliness (well, only if they're actually lonely, I guess). But if you are in fact lonely and are looking for a valentine to share your love with this season, I have just the one for you. His name is Pizza, and he's quite a catch. And I am here to tell you why he's going to make a way better valentine than any human being out there.
1. We all love to eat on holidays like this, and pizza happens to be one of the best meals on the planet, so you're already winning.
No matter what your topping it with, you'll most certainly be satisfied. From plain to pepperoni, our dear friend Pizza has it all, and trust me when I say he wants to share it all with you.
2. You can take really great Instagram pictures together.
The early bird filter looks great on the both of you.
3. He won't make it awkward when you "Netflix and Chill."
You can binge-watch chick flicks all night long.
4. Pizza doesn't care what you wear for the date.
Pizza doesn't think you look fat in anything.
5. You won't need to worry about what gift Pizza is going to get you, because pizza is the gift.
Do it. It's true.
6. Everyone knows that Pizza really is the life of the party.
All the kids want him at their birthday parties.
7. Everyone else already loves him, so chances are you will too.
Even your parents will love him.
8. You can never get too much of him.
And he's always down to hang out with you.
9. You know that no matter what, Pizza will always be there for you.
Ain't no mountain high enough...to keep you away from Pizza.
(Seriously though, you can find him anywhere.)
10. Pizza's always going to make you happy.
Yes, yes it is.
11. He'll give you that warm fuzzy feeling inside (mainly because he's cooked at a really high temperature).
He's great even when reheated.
12. He's always going to smell good.
Get your taste buds ready.
13. Whenever you want him, you can have him, any time, day or night.
Do it all again for dinner.
14. He'll never piss you off.
Your relationship in one word? Happiness.
15. He loves the way you look at him.
After all, who wouldn't want to be looked at that way?
16. He'll never judge you for being needy.
It's just like that '80s song – pizza wants you to want him.
17. Pizza will always be good to you.
How could something so good ever do something wrong? Am I right?
18. You two can go anywhere together.
Nothing better than boardwalk pizza, right?
19. Pizza will never complain about hanging out with your friends.
He'll listen to you talk about the Kardashians for as long as you want.
20. And he'll always love you back.
It's Facebook official.
So there you have it. Pizza is greater than boys; not just on Valentine's Day, but every day.