Let me introduce you to one of my best friends in the whole world, Caelin. She is hilarious, she is one of a kind, she is intelligent, she has fantastic music taste, and she has a questionable taste in men. It is no secret she has many celebrity crushes and I am here to judge her relentlessly. I will be the judge of whether or not Caelin actually has good taste in men or how basic she actually is and I will be rating each guy out of ten points. All jokes aside, I love Caelin literally with all my heart and I will try to not make this too brutal for her. And to our moms, don't look. For Caelin.
Starting us off, we have Hayden Christenen.
Yup, Mr. Anakin Skywalker himself. It is no surprise a Star Wars man has made it onto this list, especially if you know Caelin's love for the franchise at all. Hayden has been the childhood crush of many nerds, and this nerd is no exception. Rumor has it that Caelin will one day name her future child Anakin (other than her child who will be named after me, of course). A unique, but very expected choice on her part. Overall, I rate this man 8/10.
Here is your favorite stand-up comedian, John Mulaney.
I can honestly say I don't know much at all about John Mulaney, but I do enjoy the memes I see about him. Personally, I don't think he's that attractive (cute dog, though), but he is hilarious, from what I can tell. He has to have something going for him. I knew for a fact John Mulaney was going to be on this list, right when I knew I was going to be writing it. Overall, I rate 7/10.
Next we have duo Noel Miller and Cody Ko.
Lowkey this is cheating, because there are two people, but you really cannot separate these two. They are one. I personally love Cody Ko. Even as far back as my Vine days. Pair him with Noel and you have a duo who literally will have you bursting at the seams laughing. You could say, I am the Noel Miller to my pal's Cody Ko (or maybe not, we couldn't really come to a conclusion). I rate these two 9/10, only docking a point off because Cody graduated from Duke.
Coming in now, we have Hasan Minhaj.
Can't lie to you, I had no idea who Hasan Minhaj was before I made this. Whoops. I can honestly say, I am not well versed in the world of popular comedians. But, upon further research, Hasan seems like a swell, good looking guy. However, I legitimately do not have any other information, sorry Caelin. I rate 6/10.
Everyone's fav, Harry Styles.
Now this is a list. You could not possibly exclude Harry Styles from a list of the best men. Not today. Now, I only recently started liking Harry Styles (not into One Direction ever, had tunnel vision for very specific boy groups). But now that he has become this beautiful butterfly of a human being with interesting music and an impeccable sense of style, I am 100% here for it. Quality addition to the list, 10/10.
Here we have a golden boy, Antoni Porowski.
If you've seen Queer Eye, you definitely know Antoni. He is just a swell guy, super sweet with everyone he meets, a GREAT COOK. He really has it all. I personally adore him with all my heart. A truly good guy. Definitely 10/10.
Next we have Shawn Mendes (I'm sorry ahead of time).
From the beginning of her white boy of the month obsession, Caelin has been a Shawn Mendes fan. And don't get me wrong, Mendes is pretty freaking talented and has some great music, but his popularity with me has just gone downhill since he's rekindled his flame with Camilla Cabello. Now I'm just irritated and lowkey grossed out and disappointed. I sincerely apologize for flaming your Canadian, Caelin. I give 4/10.
No surprise here, with Adam Driver next on the list.
When I tell you I have never heard my best friend rave about a man more... Adam Driver has been all of Hollywood's crush lately, with his numerous movies, such as Star Wars and Marriage Story. I could not count on five hands how many Adam Driver/Kylo Ren TikToks Caelin and I have sent to each other (I refuse to get into the thirsty texts I have received from her about him (sorry, I have to embarass you a little.)) I love Adam Driver, end of story. I think he's great. I rate 10/10.
Now we have Colson Baker (A.K.A. Machine Gun Kelly).
I kind of had forgotten about MGK's existence for a while until Caelin brought him up again, not gonna lie. I definitely listened to him some when I was younger, but I guess just sort of stopped listening? He has some bangers, no lie. He is also apart of the long list of tatted up skinny white boys Caelin loves so much. No shame. He's a 9/10.
No surprise to anyone, Caelin's number 1 is Pete Davidson.
(I know it says 10, but I couldn't get my numbering to work out so, please forgive me. Whoops.)
As somebody who appreciates using humor to cope with struggles and hard times, I have respect for Pete Davidson for really putting himself out there. He's really funny and I love that, but I have to say, the guy is not everyone's cup of tea. What he may lack in some looks (I am so sorry, Caelin) he makes up for in his easy going, but addicting personality. He gets a, 8/10.
And on an ending note to Caelin: I think I should say to take this lightheartedly. All these men are super great, super cool, but I did say I would judge you for them. Don't hate me too much. And happy birth-month. (:
