19 Things You Should Never Say To Military Girlfriends

19 Things You Should Never Say To Military Girlfriends

These are actual things people ask.
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As Adam and I are coming up on our one-year anniversary, I've taken some time to reflect on our relationship — particularly the things people have tried to "tell" me about dating someone in the military.

I don't let my identity revolve around making myself a military girlfriend and the military isn't my life — it's just his job. But it's a job that helped bring us together and, for that, I'm forever grateful. However, I like to identify myself through my own actions, accomplishments and challenges.

But some people just don't get that.

This is an actual compilation of things people have said to me over the course of this year.

1. "So you'll be getting married soon? That's what everyone in the military does, anyways."

While I can't refute the statistics, it's really none of your business what I do or do not do.

2. "How do you feel about resigning yourself to a life of being underpaid and underemployed?"

Holy none of your business, Batman.

3. "People don't want to hire someone they'll only have for a few years — max."

I cringe at this one.

4. "But you never see them."

Well, yeah, while he's in another country. But the rest of the time he has a normal job so I do kinda see him on a normal schedule. That's how jobs work.

5. "Long distance relationships never last and you're no exception."

This one in particular hurts and I probably will never forget this person saying it to me.

6. "Wow. It must be hard being apart."

It's not exactly walking in a winter wonderland and a barrel full of monkeys.

7. "I just don't think you'll be together very long."


This one also still hurts.

8. "So... like, that show 'Army Wives', right?"

I wish. Have you seen Claudia Joy's sense of fashion? Amazing. She's also a lawyer. Beauty, meet brains. But that's a TV show.

9. "Don't worry about him cheating on you, there're no pretty women in the service."

Thanks for the concern.

10. "Have you cheated on him?"

Thanks for at least being blunt about asking.

11. "Aren't you afraid he'll be killed?"


I don't even respond to this anymore.

12. "It stinks he's missing Thanksgiving/Christmas/New Years/Graduation/insert holiday here."

He's not missing it, he's just not here. Life is all about how you look at it.

13. "I just don't know how you do it."

I get up, I walk out the door and I live the life God intended me to live — man or no man.

14. "What do you do to keep yourself busy while he's gone?"

It's different if you're asking because you're trying to figure out how to occupy your time. It's another story when you're just trying to be nosy.

15. "Well, in my opinion..."

Halt. Do not pass go, do not collect $200. I didn't ask for your opinion.

16. "I would never let my boyfriend be in the military."

Lemme break this down for you. A) this was his choice before I came into the picture. B) this is a choice that he has decided on for himself. And, C) would you let your boyfriend be an accountant? A reporter? A professional video game player? Do you not realize how bratty you sound?

17. "Are you just going to live off him and his income?"

Hi, yes, I work. I have a great job. Two, in case you were wondering. Two that I love very much. Ask me about them because I'd love to tell you what I do for a living.

18. "You will be OK" or "are you sure you're OK?"

The mileage on this one varies but don't ask people you don't know if they're OK because some, like me, will hate you for it. I'm not OK when I look you dead in the eyes and say that I'm not.

19. "It's just all so romantic."

He's romantic. Not his job. Romance is in the person, not the career.

Cover Image Credit: thenationsfirst / Flickr

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Just Because I Check My Boyfriend's Location Every Hour Doesn't Make Me A 'Psycho Girlfriend'

No, checking his location every hour does not make me psycho.
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My boyfriend and I have been seeing each other for a few months now. He has come up with describing my actions sometimes as “psycho girlfriend.” As much as this bothered me at first I started to realize there is nothing wrong with my “psycho” actions.

I don’t monitor who my boyfriend hangs out with and I don’t care who he texts, I trust him, but I do watch other things he does.

I probably check his location about once an hour, maybe more if he isn’t texting me back.

This isn’t some way for me to find out if he is with another girl, it’s so I can ensure he isn’t dead in a ditch somewhere. If he was on Snapchat five minutes ago but hasn’t texted me back in 45 minutes, yeah I’ll call him out on it but I'm not actually mad. If he is with friends and not answering me, it’s cool. I just want to be able to make sure I know where he is and that he is alive on a regular basis.

I make him keep his read receipts on for me.

I don’t care if he leaves me on read, I just need to know he is seeing what I’m saying. Half the time, I text him random facts or thoughts I have throughout my day, those don’t always need a response back. However, I do want to know he is acknowledging me through reading my texts.

Yes, from time to time I will spam him and make him respond to my messages so we can make plans or I can know what he is doing with his day but it’s not like I plan out his every move for him or care if he is getting drunk with the boys on a Wednesday, not my issue.

I don’t ask for all of his time or anything. I know he is a busy person. All I ask for him to text me back on a regular basis (once an hour to be exact), for him to allow for me to know where he is at all times and to get one night a week with him.

I don’t plan to show up where he is or anything, I simply just like to know information and get a weekly time with him. I don’t care if I only see him that one night a week, I just want one night with a movie or dinner or snuggles so I can get my boyfriend time.

The rest of the time he is his own person, and I couldn’t really care less about what he does in that time.

Cover Image Credit: Grace Wilkowski

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From The Girl Who's Going Through The Unknown Trials And Tribulations Of Being Newly Single

Being newly single can be hard, for reasons that don't incorporate your ex
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SO, I just got out of a THREE YEAR RELATIONSHIP and things have been a challenge and a half. Not for the reasons you may think because if we are being completely honest and cruel, I have no emotion towards the ghost of this mans past but that’s beside the point. My problems lie where people least expect since according to everyone that hasn’t been in an aggressively long relationship, this is my time to go crazy and glow up.

WELL, THAT’S THE PROBLEM.

I am expected to suddenly master the single lifestyle and become Kim Kardashian in the span of literally two months. But this is simply not the case, and I’m sure most newly single ~ladies~ can relate.



I literally have no idea how to be a single human. I mean, I’m fine by myself, I actually prefer being by myself, but how does one flirt? Find dates to formal? Just be a normal, single woman? I am confused, and I think I will remain confused for a long while.

This past week, I tried to FEED A MAN A CHIP FROM MY FANNY PACK while at a party because in my mind, that was normal, flirtatious activity. Not only did I try to shove food down a man's throat, but I was also wearing a fanny pack. I have so many questions for myself that will most likely be answered with time, but until then, I will continue, through trial and error, to figure out the art of being #single.

I also really dislike the hype of “glowing up” post-relationship because that takes TIME. Every girl that has been in a four-day relationship takes to Twitter or Instagram to show their dramatic (and immediate) post break up, glow up. WELL, let me tell you something.

This is not the case for those of us who were in it for the long haul. I AM STILL TRYING TO FIGURE MY ISH OUT, I DON’T HAVE TIME TO BODY BUILD AND MASTER MY SKINCARE ROUTINE. I’m still trying to figure myself out because this is the first time in three years that I have been completely alone with myself for this long.

I’m working on an internal glow up and succeeding too, which is why the world needs to GET OFF MY BACK. Hopefully, this summer will be the season of external change but until then, plz don’t expect much :-).



SO, basically, the point of this article was to try to explain that being newly single can be hard for reasons that don’t incorporate your ex-man's, because to be honest, getting over them can sometimes be the easiest part if the breakup has been long past due.

The hardest part lies in trying to figure out who you actually are without someone directly related to your identity. I still have people from my hometown asking me how he is and what he’s up to, and TBH, I have no clue, but I can assure them that Frankie is doing just fine.

Cover Image Credit: Instagram

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