19 Lessons Growing Up A Child Of Divorce Has Taught Me

19 Lessons Growing Up A Child Of Divorce Has Taught Me

I can honestly say that I am thankful for having to go through something so hard.
141
views

Divorce is something that everyone knows about. What was once such an uncommon and sad thing has become very popular with the marriages of today. My parents divorced when I was only six years old, in first grade, before I knew how anyone could fall out of love. The only thing I had ever heard of was "happily ever after," my mind was completely blown by my parents suddenly not being married anymore. Though it truly wasn't a mutual split and my mom honestly would have done anything to save the marriage for mine and my sister's sake, I have learned a lot of things from growing up a child of divorce, most of them concerning love: and I can honestly say that I am thankful for having to go through something so hard.

1. If your heart is not 100% in your marriage before you say "I do," it's not meant to happen.

2. You can't fix a person that doesn't want to be fixed.

3. No matter how hard you try, the person you love still could leave you.

4. Relationships are scary.

5. Know what else is scary? Sharing your life with someone else, knowing that at any second they very well could decide to pack up and leave you.

6. Just because you are in love with someone does not mean that you should marry them.

7. If you are meant to be with the person you're with, you will know deep down inside. Always go with your gut. It's never too late to change your mind, even if you're headed down the aisle. Your parents would rather waste money on a cancelled wedding than helping you out after a messy divorce.

8. You can learn a lot about how you should be treated based on how your dad treats your mom.

9. Once a cheater, always a cheater.

10. People fall out of love every day, but it can take years to admit.

11. The right person for you will never leave you questioning their feelings. If they love you, you will know.

12. You may not get everything right the first time around, there is nothing wrong with getting married again.

13. Not everyone finds their soulmate in college or even in their twenties. Sometimes you find your soulmate just before your 50th birthday and will to introduce them to your two nearly grown daughters.

14. Marriage truly is not for everyone. If you don't think marriage is for you, don't get married.

15. Having two different families and two different bedrooms at two different houses is really hard on kids.

16. Do everything possible to avoid putting your kids through a divorce. However, do not expose them to a toxic relationship and treat it as "normal", this is only more cognitively harmful.

17. Love is messy. It is also beautiful when it's right.

18. You aren't required to love anyone just because they're dating/married to your parent.

19. Just because your parents didn't get it right doesn't mean that you want. Learn from their mistakes and try your hardest to keep them in mind when you're planning your own future.

Cover Image Credit: Author's Photo

Popular Right Now

17 Empowering Bible Verses For Women

You go, girl.
601293
views

We all have those days where we let the negative thoughts that we're "not good enough," "not pretty enough" or "not smart enough" invade our minds. It's easy to lose hope in these situations and to feel like it would be easier to just give up. However, the Bible reminds us that these things that we tell ourselves are not true and it gives us the affirmations that we need. Let these verses give you the power and motivation that you're lacking.

1. Proverbs 31:25

"She is clothed with strength and dignity and she laughs without fear of the future."

2. Psalm 46:5

"God is within her, she will not fall."

3. Luke 1:45

"Blessed is she who believed that the Lord would fulfill His promises to her."

4. Proverbs 31:17

"She is energetic and strong, a hard worker."

5. Psalm 28:7

"The Lord is my strength and my shield."

6. Proverbs 11:16

"A gracious woman gains respect, but ruthless men gain only wealth."

7. Joshua 1:9

"Be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the Lord your God is with you wherever you go."

8. Proverbs 31:30

"Charm is deceptive, and beauty does not last; but a woman who fears the Lord will be greatly praised."

9. 1 Corinthians 15:10

"By the grace of God, I am what I am."

10. Proverbs 31:26

"When she speaks, her words are wise, and she gives instructions with kindness."

11. Psalm 139:14

"I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made."

12. 1 Peter 3:3-4

"Don't be concerned about the outward beauty of fancy hairstyles, expensive jewelry, or beautiful clothes. You should clothe yourselves instead with the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is so precious to God."

13. Colossians 2:10

"And in Christ you have been brought to fullness."

14. 2 Timothy 1:7

"For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline."

15. Jeremiah 29:11

"'For I know the plans I have for you,' says the Lord. 'They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.'"

16. Exodus 14:14

"The Lord himself will fight for you. Just stay calm."

17. Song of Songs 4:7

"You are altogether beautiful, my darling, beautiful in every way."

Next time you're feeling discouraged or weak, come back to these verses and use them to give you the strength and power that you need to conquer your battles.

Cover Image Credit: Julia Waterbury

Related Content

Connect with a generation
of new voices.

We are students, thinkers, influencers, and communities sharing our ideas with the world. Join our platform to create and discover content that actually matters to you.

Learn more Start Creating

Here's Your Reminder To Let The People You Care About KNOW That You Love Them

It's so scary to think that one moment everything is fine and then something happens so out of no where and out of your control.

353
views

Last week I stared at my phone screen, not believing what my friend had just told me. Our close friend's father had just passed. I didn't know him well, but there was still a huge knot in my stomach, obviously feeling awful for my friend. That has to be one of the most horrible things, that I could never in a million years imagine having to go through. I told my friend I was thinking of her, but honestly, I tried to push it out of my mind that entire week. It's so scary to think that one moment everything is fine and then something like this happens so out of nowhere and out of your control.

Sometimes things happen in our lives that are unexplainable. This semester has had its ups and downs for me, but it's been pretty smooth sailing overall. I usually gladly stay on campus for the weekends, surrounded by my friends and so much going on, rather than taking the hour-long train ride home. Of course, I miss my family, but I am rarely thinking about it, especially on a Friday night.

This past weekend, however, I had this overwhelming desire to be at home for the weekend, and I couldn't figure out why. Sure, I had more work to do than normal so going home would probably force me to be more productive. I had also been sick that week, so it would be easier to kick my cold in the comfort of my own home than in my dorm. And as much as I adore Brower (not really), it can never hurt to get a good home cooked meal. I kept telling myself I would be home for spring break in two weeks, so none of these reasons really added up to my wanting to be home for the weekend.

Nevertheless, after a late date night on Friday, I decided to pack up my things early Saturday morning and haul my duffel bag to the train. And by the end of my weekend at home, I realized why I needed to be there so badly. I hadn't really confronted how hearing about the loss made me feel and how it was affecting me.

Writing this sounds selfish. Why should it matter how I feel when someone I care about is over there grieving and going through such immense pain? But after a week of pushing it out of my mind, I saw these events as an eye opener for my own life. Even though I have a really close bond with my own father, we fight a lot more often than I'd like, and sometimes I need a reminder to just let things go. I don't show it enough, but I love my dad so much and need to be grateful for the important role he plays in my life.

It sounds like stating the obvious to preach the importance of cherishing every second because you don't know when will be the last, but we often forget. No one should have to suffer through loss, and it scares me the more and more I think about it. I wish there was such a thing as the perfect thing to say to help someone through such an unexplainable situation like this. I guess all you can do is be there for them, give the people you love a hug, and appreciate the little moments you're lucky enough to spend with family.

Related Content

Facebook Comments