I'm only 18-years-old, I'm a freshmen in college, I don't know everything, I have a lot left to learn, no doubt, but I have learned a lot so far. Certain things in life and inevitable and it's because of those inevitable and sometimes unpleasant experiences you end up learning a thing or two about about people, about yourself, and about life in general. I didn't learn these things right away, and some things I wish I had learned sooner, but thats okay. These are 18 of the most important things I have learned, so far, in my 18 years on this planet.
1. Loving yourself is a process.
Everyone always talks about how loving yourself is so important and how you need to love yourself in order to be truly happy, I completely agree, but it is not that simple. You are going to make dumb mistakes and embarrass yourself. You are going to look in the mirror and not always like what you see. You aren’t just going to wake up one morning and be in love with yourself, it takes time. So if you have a hard time loving yourself sometimes (or a majority of the time) that's normal! However, it doesn’t mean you quit trying.
2. Everything is temporary.
This is one of the most valuable lessons I have learned. How many times I’ve excessively worried, panicked or just felt overwhelmed by a situation that I was convinced would last forever. News flash: almost everything in life is temporary. A semester isn’t going to last forever, this class isn’t going to last forever, this problem isn’t going to last forever. It’s all temporary, even though it may feel permanent, don’t be fooled.
3. Make it happen
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Whatever it is, whatever you want, you need to make it happen for yourself because at the end of the day nobody else can do it for you. It’s your life so go make things happen for yourself, don’t expect anything to be handed to you, because it won’t be.
4. Be thankful for what you have right now.
Life changes so fast, and people can come and go so quickly. Look at what you have right now, and just be thankful for it because in a blink of an eye everything can change. For me, one of my biggest fears is looking back and kicking myself because I wasn’t thankful for what I had before it was gone. It’s important to put what you want in the future on pause for a few moments a day (or longer) and just be happy what you have right now, in the present, it won’t last forever.
5. Not everyone is going to like you, get over it.
No one, I repeat -- no one -- was put on this Earth just to please another person. If someone doesn’t like you, it's fine, it happens, you can't please everyone. It may be upsetting but it’s a part of life, and something I personally wish I had figured out sooner.
6. It's OK not to be OK.
Life happens. You aren’t going to have it together all the time, but you will get through it. Don’t be afraid to break down as long as you are going to pick yourself back up and keep going.
7. Family is everything.
Again, something I wish I had figured out sooner. It seems like when you’re a kid you try so hard to separate yourself from your family, just spend time with your friends, and do your own thing, but the older I get the more I realize that my family are always going to have my back when I need it the most and they are the ones who have always been there for me when I am at my complete worst and that's something that I will value forever.
8. Keep certain things to yourself.
Sometimes, it's best just to say less. Think, less is more. When you have a dream you want to accomplish, an idea in your head, or something that inspires you or makes you happy, sometimes the best thing you can do is just to keep it to yourself. Obviously, you don’t have to but in my experience sometimes, without meaning too, other people make you feel like it is unattainable, foolish, or just plant a doubt in your mind. To avoid others people's judgments or criticism just keep it to yourself. Set your goals and silently work to achieve them, you don’t need to publicize everything.
9. Do more of what matters.
Go do things with the people you love, go experience new things, go make memories, go live your life. It may take more effort than sitting on the couch or scrolling through your twitter feed, but it's important to keep in mind. Its easier to be lazy after a long day or a long week but it's worth it in the end, trust me.
10. Independence isn’t always scary.
It may seem scary at first but doing things on your own and for yourself is surprisingly liberating, who would have thought? Being in charge of my own life seems like a such a crazy idea to a freshmen in college after years of having your life preplanned for you. Figuring out what I am going to do that day, and what I need to get done is not all bad. It has its stressful times, but things like registering to vote, going places by yourself, having a job, driving, and making your own schedule are not necessarily bad things.
11. Be kind to people.
Don’t be mean, it's really that simple. It can be tough though, when I’m having a bad day sometimes I can literally feel the negative energy radiating off me into the atmosphere, but remember that everyone is dealing with something. So smile, say thank you, hold the door for people, don’t honk your horn at people on the road unless you absolutely have to (seriously it can ruin a person's day!) and don’t be unnecessarily rude to people, you don’t know what they are going through.
12. You need time to be alone.
Whether it's a few minutes in your car driving to class or a whole day, you need it. It is crucial to be alone with your own thoughts and have some down time without distractions to step away from the rest of the world, sort yourself out and destress.
13. Don’t believe everything you see on social media.
This is coming from the girl who thought Leonardo DiCaprio was moving to Hempstead, N.Y. (he’s not by the way, sadly) just because she saw it on Facebook, so clearly I have a hard time with this one, but it’s good to remember. Just because it is on social media doesn’t make it true. Just because they say it, doesn’t make it true, just because they look happy, doesn’t mean they are, just because he/she looks like they have it all together, doesn’t mean they do, looks can be deceiving especially on social media. It’s way too easy to look at someone on Twitter or Instagram and compare yourself to them, why don’t I have a relationship like that? Why aren’t I that confident with my body? Why don’t I have a life like he/she does? On social media you don’t see the behind the scenes you just get to see what they want you to see, so don’t compare yourself to what you see on social media, you have no idea what the full story is and remember nobody’s life is perfect.
14. You are going to have regrets.
To the people who claim they live their life without regrets, I just have one question for you -- How? I always have regrets and I try to forget them and forgive myself, but I mean they are always there. No matter how much I try if I feel guilty for something I did, how I acted, things I said, and so on, it’s always going to be there and I’ll always regret it. I would love to live without regrets but until I get it together and stop making mistakes (which will be never so nobody hold your breath) I will always have regrets.
15. Some people are going to walk out of your life.
When it happens you probably will be very surprised or very hurt. Just remember they were meant to be in your life for some reason and if nothing else, you learned something from your interactions with them. Also keep in mind, just because a person has walked out of your life, or has slowly grown apart from you right now does not mean they will never be in your life again. Life has a funny way of bringing people together, so you never know.
16. Overthinking gets you nowhere.
As a avid over thinker, I can vouch for this. How many times have I stayed up rethinking things that have happened in the past or anxiously wondering about things that are going to happen or might happen in the future. It gets you nowhere, if anything it just takes years off of your life. It's unnecessary stress you don't need in your life, so don’t think so much (easier said than done). At the end of the day the past is behind us and the future is so unpredictable no matter how many times you think you know what to expect you really don’t so what is even the point in worrying?
17. Think for yourself.
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This is something my dad has drilled into my head ever since I was a kid and I’m proud to say that this quote has stuck with me. Don’t look to other people to figure out what the answer is, be your own person, do what's best for you, don’t sell yourself short and take the easy way out by doing what everyone else is doing. Use your brain, think things through on your own and stand your ground when people question you.
18. God has a plan.
He knows what He is doing, so if your plan doesn’t go accordingly it's because God has different plans for you. Don’t panic. He’s got this.