18 Going On 80

18 Going On 80

Eight telltale signs you're way past your mid-life crisis and headed toward "the facility."


As my time in college has moved forward and my months into adulthood have progressed, I've realized that I am becoming an old lady. If you knew it was going to happen eventually, but thought it would be at 80, rather than 18, these are some of the telltale signs that it may be time to give up on the bikini style and purchase your first pair of granny panties.

1. When someone comes to your home you basically force fed them and make them drink a beverage.

“I’m sorry, but you have no option. You will eat these cookies I baked.”

2. The kettle is always on the stove, ready to brew a good cup of conversation.

“So, how do you feel about that?”

3. You’re always the last person to know what’s going on.

“What? Susan and Jonny are dating!? When did that start happening?”

4. You bake out of boredom.

“I made this Bundt cake the other day. Why? Oh, no reason.”

5. Your idea of a fun night is staying in.

“It's like a pajama party without the party!”

6. When you look in your closet and you realize you’ve been wearing some of the same clothes for half a decade, yet you have nothing to wear.

“I think the last time I wore this was my freshman year…of high school.”

7. The only radio station you have programmed is NPR.

“Did you hear about the new carrot disease circulating through the Arctic?"

8. Some days, you realize you are just too old to put up with petty crap.

Because you just feel that old.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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