When we are at home, we are missing our lives from school. When we are at school, we are missing our family from home. Is there a happy medium?
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It is time to we stop spreading our culture of hate.
Hate is a word that has begun to describe this generation and the actions of people in the world. Hate has crept into public speeches, social media, hanging presidents/decapitated heads and our hearts. It has blinded how we see one another and tainted the words we use to talk to others. Political parties are turning into cat fights over who is right and frankly ruining any chance of unity in this country.
Politics has become one of the most sensitive topics in conversations nowadays. Meaningful discussions have been hijacked into arguments, name calling, and bashing of beliefs. I try as best as I can to avoid talking about anything political in fear of an argument forming. I am fearful of sharing my political beliefs and even change topics when it is brought about.
There are now "safe spaces" where honest political discussions are dismissed, and the opposers are told to "get over it."
Conversation has been all but destroyed by this. Communication on social media has also become hostile. Social media has been a great way for people to express their opinions, connect with friends and family, or share articles/videos. However, politics has become a very hot issue in the past year and a half that it has taken over social media. It seems that every day there is a new comment from a politician or some newscaster said this. I know people who have unfollowed anyone who shares or talks about politics on their social media because they are sick of seeing it. There is very little meaningful comments on these posts and a lot of naming calling and shaming.
It seems no matter what political party you identify with someone will tell you that you are wrong for what you believe in and you are what is wrong with America.
It is though people have forgotten how to discuss and all that happens in tearing people down for their beliefs or even use stereotypes to describe them, If they are democratic then they are snowflake millennials or Republicans are old country folk who still live in the past. I don't when we only started identifying and acknowledging people for who they voted for or what party to which they belonged, but what I see worries me.
There is constant anger surrounding politics. There is fighting, stereotypes, bullying, etc going on because someone doesn't believe the same things. It is time to say enough is enough and come together as one instead of tearing each other down.
It is time to stop the name calling and bashing ideas and start coming up with ideas of our own.
Instead of using words to hurt one another, we use them to create ideas of our own and help others instead of tearing them down. We should engage in conversation and discussion of these ideas. It is the minds and thought of the constitutes that will better this country. People believe in the melting pot, but why not it be a melting pot of ideas and discussion.
The best place to share and use those ideas are local and state government. This is where change and a true impact can form. There aren't enough people worried and engaged in local government as there should be. This is a way to enrich your community and make a difference for those around you. City council or state house meetings are great ways to hear proposals of bills that could affect the area around you.
Investigating has increased due to the rise of "fake news." People have begun looking deeper into articles and headlines. The news is designed to reel you in and get as many views or shares as possible. Headlines or excerpts have become misleading and not the truth. People should fully investigate the bills proposed or the comments people say. The internet has become dangerous and very good at taking things out of context. Instead of sharing and hating ideas, read and understand the full details. Sometimes bills are often misunderstood due to conflicting opinions.
The only time I see real unity is during times of crisis.
Recently, there have been attacks overseas in the UK and people have come together to help and offer support. There has been nothing but love and kindness with the aftermath of these tragedies. I have seen hope and love after times of trial such as the Boston Marathon and 9/11. There was support and helping hands no matter race/ gender/ or political party. People helped out their neighbors and looked out for one another.
There should not just be love in times of hurt and crisis. There should be love and goodness always. There has been too much negativity and hate in this world. There is fighting and disrespecting each other. This in itself is a crisis. We are hurting one another when we should be together to make this country the best it can be.
Today we spit out so many contradictions that I don't know which ones to follow.
"Unless you're like this. Don't be that."
"Say how you feel."
"Unless you want to say this. But don't say that."
It is time to end this generation of hate and instead, move forward in unity as one nation, not two. There are two choices: doing what is right or hating each other.
Just another open letter from a crazy ex-girlfriend.
You’re probably thinking, “oh sh*t, my ex is writing a hate letter and a tell-all about our roller coaster tycoon relationship with terrible fallout.” But if you’re thinking that, oh honey you’re wrong. This isn’t some sappy pity party nonsense and it’s not a trash-my-ex tell all; it’s a journey. And it’s my side of our story to tell…
When I met you…
I wasn’t expecting anyone to enter my life the way you did. I was OK and then I met you and I was incredible. I was so reluctant to like you because I was in denial that I could be liked the way I deserved. We also had mutual friends and I just didn’t want to take the teasing. But spending three hours on the phone with you every day and swapping embarrassing #artsy Snapchat selfies drove us into an incredible friendship and an undeniable chemistry.
So you took me to your formal…
You showed me your world and I handed you my heart. In one weekend, we spent over 24 hours confined in a car together, subject to heart-to-hearts and victims to not-so-awkward silences. I was introduced to all of your friends and your drunken ways. It was exciting to say the least. And to end a wonderful weekend, you invited me to be a significant part of your world; and thus our crazy relationship began.
And I fell in love…
Before you, I had never been swept off my feet, but then you came along and I was blindsided by love. I hadn’t yet met someone I could truly call my best friend or really give my whole heart to but you changed everything for me; you were that person. It was amazing and young and fresh and exciting and you were sweet and funny, and just like me in so many ways. It was addicting. I was swollen with delight that I had someone so special, that I had you, constantly reminding me that happiness is tangible. It was incredibly overwhelming and breathtaking; it was my first time in love.
But when you revealed your mental illness….
Every part of our functioning happiness came to a pause. It was like a betrayal to my heart that I could love someone so much, but hate such a huge part about them. Your mood swings were frustrating and your depression was numbing. I couldn’t blame you for your sadness, but sometimes I couldn't find you through it either. It complicated us in so many ways.
And we just became complicated…
We fought all the time. Every other day it seemed like our relationship was resting on the edge of a cliff. And neither of us fought fair. It was the war of low blows and devastation; things were said that scarred us both and no matter how bad we wanted to move on the next day and be re-consumed by love, we couldn’t forget how much pain was caused. We weren’t nice people when we were fighting with each other.
So like all terminal relationships, we broke up. But like addicts we relapsed. Things were only more complicated when we chose to turn our long distance relationship into a neighboring couple. When you joined me at school, no one thought we were going to last, and against all my heart, I didn’t either.
It hurt but I couldn’t let you go…
The problem with your first time being in love, is that it also means the inevitable first heartbreak. We were crazy wrong for each other. We threatened each other with our lives and the knowledge that we could both ruin each other with. We created drama to the point where people didn’t want us around: together or separate. And even though we realized all of this was going on, I still couldn’t let you go. I was convinced that giving you my heart meant never getting it back, so I was determined to stick it out.
But then you hit me….
And my world came crashing down. In one slap across the face, all of the drama and control and abuse and pain flashed through my mind. I was infuriated and humiliated and confused and heartbroken and emotional and devastated and relieved all at once. I knew everything was about to change and it wasn’t going to be easy.
And things weren’t easy…
Because real heartbreaks aren’t easy. Plain and simple.
When I changed…
For a very long time I gave my energy to you and the battle trying to revive us. When you denied me (rightfully, and wrongfully of me to think we were worth saving or even fixable), I spent all of my worth and energy trying to get over you. But what I realize now, many months later, is that my energy should have never been wasted on trying to get over you or ahead of the game.
Relationships are not about who has a fuller heart or who bares more of themselves; they are not about giving up or giving in and they have no association with sacrificing who you are and what you deserve. Breakups are not about who can move on first or expose the ugly skeleton of the other in the more demeaning way. They are not about numbing yourself to pain or avoiding glorious memories. All of it: relationships, breakups, love, heartbreaks, are about allowing your heart to feel and exploring yourself, but having the incredible pleasure of sharing it with someone else, and withstanding it without them.
This isn’t a hate letter to my ex, or a pity party for me: it’s a reminder to everyone that happiness is tangible, regardless of who you fall in and out of love with. Happiness is tangible regardless of how you ride the roller coaster that is life.
To the boy who changed me…
You didn’t change me, I changed me. But reminding myself of who I was with you, who I let myself become because of you, awakened me to the me I’ve always desired to be: happy. I cannot thank you for the way I came about my change. I cannot thank you for turning us both into destructive monsters. But I appreciate the memories gained and the lessons learned, the opportunities to love and be loved, the experience of a true heartbreak. I am long past loving you, and deep in love with loving myself. Because of how we fell apart, I was able to pull myself together. Because of love, I was able to grow up.
The Girlfriend's Guide to College
Up until last week, I always had a major. I was an international business major, finance major, psych major on the pre-medicine track… and now (finally) I am exactly where I should have been when I started college: undecided. I think there is too much pressure as a high school student to have a designated path about what you want to study, be when you 'grow up' and essentially spend the rest of your life doing. As an 18-year-old, I really feel like I tried to pin myself down to a major so that I had a set path to follow and something to look towards. This is probably very conventional and I know tons of people at school who have their minds made up about what they want to study.
Even though I am super organized, in my experience, it is ok not to have a set path. It definitely sounds nice to say that you are studying to be a doctor, accountant, nurse, teacher, etc. from the minute that you step onto campus… but life happens. Up until last week, I was a psych major on the pre-med track. It was so relieving to say that I was going to be a doctor and I was making myself proud. But, as I said earlier, the classes I was taking just weren't interesting to me. I was not enjoying biology or chemistry. I was not happy. I think in order to say what you do like, you have to first identify the topics that you are not interested in. In this way, I really feel that everything happens for a reason. In this case, I think we enroll in specific courses for a reason and we have general requirements from our schools. I understand the general education requirements now and I appreciate the fact that they exist.
After rethinking my major again and having a really scared feeling that I do not like my major or classes I am taking, I changed around my schedule and received some guidance instead of just jumping into courses that seem to follow my major. Now, though I am still technically a psychology major, I am happily taking my general requirements for the College of Arts and Sciences and feel so relived.
On that note, I truly believe that everything happens for a reason. It is important to take a step back and let life take its course. I am loving my somewhat less stressful schedule right now because I get to have the ability to take more time to study to do well in of my courses, work, enjoy campus, stay organized and actually be involved in the clubs that you signed up for.
For all of those who are undecided at the moment, my advice to you is that it is ok. It is ok not to have an undesignated path right now. Take time to figure things out and they say that everything else will come.
I am 25 years old and just now learning who I am. When I separated from my husband I was terrified of what would follow. I did not know who I was outside of a relationship, nor did I know how to be on my own. It was scary, and I was so lost. I spent months discovering who I was, and what I wanted to be. I am still searching as I believe we never truly know who we are even when we "grow up". I came to the realization that I had been hiding a part of myself for my entire life. Coming out was not easy, growing up in the church made it scary, and hard. I was told growing up that being anything but straight was such a sin, and that i would spent my life in hell because of it. I came out to my parents when I was 25 years old. I picked up the phone and called my mom, and uttered the words "I'm queer" through tears. I knew my parents would be supportive, but that didn't make it any easier for me to vulnerable and raw. Since then, I have slowly started being more authentic in who I am, and not hide parts of me just because of people's shitty opinions.
At 25 i feel more like myself than I ever have. I have learned to use my voice, and speak up for myself. I have learned to hold to my boundaries, and that the word "No" is a complete sentence. I have taken a step back from my people pleasing and have learned to say no, when I am to drained to offer assistance anymore. Self care is something I have preached about my whole life, but never really practiced. Don't get me wrong, I would spend days off in bed, watching my favorite tv shows, but i wouldn't do things that poured back into me, so I was constantly feeling drained. I have learned that it's okay to do things that make you happy, that fill you with joy, and love, and wonderment. It's okay to have days where you don't want to do anything, because you woke up that morning, you took a breath and decided to keep going. As humans we tend to only show the good parts of what is going on in our lives, and leave out the messy. but you know what, life is messy. NO ONES and i mean NO ONES life is as perfect at they portray it to be. I spent most of my life looking at pictures of the "perfect" people on social media, and feeling behind in my life. I would constantly think "how will i ever catch up?" I have learned life is not a race, you can do things at your own speed because your only competition is you. You are the only person you have to compete again, and that way of thinking has damn near saved my life.
Life is messy, but that's what can make it fun.
Ask your best friend these basic questions to see just how well they know you.
My best friend has been in my life since we were 3 years old, now that we are adults now, I'd like to ask her these questions to see how well she knows me.
1. What's my favorite type of food?
Wrong: Mexican Food
2. What's one food I hate?
3. What's my favorite restaurant?
Wrong: Panera Bread
4. What's my favorite movie?
5. Where was I born?
Saint Mary's Hospital
6. Who is my absolute best friend?
7. What's my favorite thing about you?
8. What is my dream job?
9. What's my favorite color?
10. What's one thing I'm really bad at?
11. What's one thing I'm really good at?
12. What would you say is my greatest weakness?
13. What would you say is my greatest strength?
14. Who am I closest to in my family?
15. How did I get my name?
"They just said it"
Wrong: They based my name selection on my hair color
16. Who is my role model?
Wrong: my cousin Kristina
17. Who is my biggest supporter?
18. What is my biggest regret?
Watching a scary movie too young
19. What is my greatest fear?
20. What is my biggest insecurity?
1. Brittany Morgan, National Writer's Society
2. Radhi, SUNY Stony Brook
3. Kristen Haddox, Penn State University
4. Jennifer Kustanovich, SUNY Stony Brook
5. Clare Regelbrugge, University of Illinois Urbana-Champaign