Dear 16-year-old me,
Hey girl, I know life is pretty tough right now. You think the world is against you and sometimes you wish you could just sleep forever – sleep until all your problems are gone at least. And I hate to break it to you, but that is not an option, because you are stronger than that, and you are better than that.
And whether or not you believe me...
1. Everything will work out.
Right now you’re doubting Mom and Dad, doubting that they understand where you are coming from, and it seems like they just won’t ever get it – get the struggles of a depressed 16- year-old girl. But trust me on this one….
2. Listen to your parents.
Listen because they are probably the two people who care about you the most in this world, and they only want the best. Yes, you don’t have to agree with everything they are saying, and I know you won’t. But don’t storm off and slam your door demanding they leave you alone.
Sit down and simply listen.
They want you to succeed and want to see you get out of the funk you are currently in. They understand more than you think and more than you will ever currently give them credit for. But sitting here as a 19-year-old, for the most part, they were right. So reach out to them for help because we both know you need it. They love you so much and I wish you could see it.
3. Boys don’t define you.
STOP hooking up with more boys because you think for some reason that ties into your worth as a person. Because it doesn’t.
Don’t feel pressured to do anything you aren’t comfortable with because you will later regret it. Stand your ground. Stop caring that he will tell his friend you’re a “prude,” because he’s a jerk, so you don’t need his approval anyway. You’re 16 years old, you have the rest of your life to be concerned with what boys think about you, but right now isn’t the time.
I’m not saying it’s a crime to kiss boys because it isn’t. Just be smart. Please.
4. You aren’t stupid.
The fact that you failed your math quiz, that doesn’t make you dumb. And I’m happy to report that since 10th grade, we have never had to plot a parabola EVER again. So you don’t have to worry about that. But all these stupid quizzes and tests don’t define your intelligence.
Don’t waste time beating yourself up about it. Just because your Spanish teacher said you are “doomed,” doesn’t make it true.
Maybe your GPA isn’t what you want it to be right now, but you still have plenty of time to improve it, and you will – TRUST me. Just hear me out: You’ve said no to drinking multiple times, that was smart. Your friends come to you for advice all the time, because you are insightful. Teachers have praised you for questions you bring up in class, and how you challenge what they say.
You aren’t stupid.
5. Lastly, please remember you aren’t alone.
You have tons of people who care about you, and I only wish you could see it. When your sisters tell you they love you, they mean it. When your friends tell you they love you, they mean it. When mom and dad tell you they love you, they mean it. And although you don’t believe it now, you will one day. And when I say as you, but the 19-year-old version, that I love us and the person we’ve become, I most certainly mean it.
So 16-year-old me, take it easy. Listen to Mom and Dad, don’t cut class, work hard, and have fun. I love you and can’t wait till you see everything we’ve done. I’ll see you in three years.
Be smart, and be safe.
All my love,
Your 19-year-old self.